hakim Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 I'm talking to a girl on a dating site. We are having a great laugh, plenty of Rugby banter But I think I asked to swap numbers too soon ! Apparently you should ask for it quite quickly to avoid vagueness and whatever. I don't think I ruined it though, she told me " [..] don't take this personally, but we've just started speaking so I don't want to swap numbers just yet :D" Was this bad?
kendahke Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 I'm talking to a girl on a dating site. We are having a great laugh, plenty of Rugby banter But I think I asked to swap numbers too soon ! Apparently you should ask for it quite quickly to avoid vagueness and whatever. says who? I don't think I ruined it though, she told me " [..] don't take this personally, but we've just started speaking so I don't want to swap numbers just yet :D" Was this bad? Don't know. Was it?
Author hakim Posted September 27, 2015 Author Posted September 27, 2015 says who? I've been following these "online dating experts"... This is the second time I've had a conversation with a girl on the site in the last 2 weeks. I just thought that asking the number quickly would help. Don't know. Was it? Well it feels like it was to me, but I'm asking you.
kendahke Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 I've been following these "online dating experts"... This is the second time I've had a conversation with a girl on the site in the last 2 weeks. I just thought that asking the number quickly would help. You know those site are only after your money, right? Best piece of advice anyone can give you is to learn to gauge the situation and be yourself. All the game playing is going to run your boat to the rocks. Well it feels like it was to me, but I'm asking you. I'm not her. No one here can tell you if you struck out. I'd say stick to communicating on the site until she's ready to give you her number. Or you can recommend to her to get a google number if she's leery about giving out her own number. 1
smackie9 Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 I say you ask her to meet in public somewhere to carry on the conversation. If she says it's too soon, then you say OK, and chat up other women until she comes around if she does. There's a lot of crap on those sites and you can end up being someone's pen pal/because all they are is an attention whore. If it doesn't feel right don't waste your time on them. It's always best not to put too much into someone that isn't ready, and should invest in looking for someone who is.
smackie9 Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 BTW you asking for her number was not a mistake. It's a frickin dating site, and everyone should have those expectations...that is why guys are there....to ask girls out on dates....what the hell does she expect jeeeezzzuuuus. 1
nescafe1982 Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 BTW you asking for her number was not a mistake. It's a frickin dating site, and everyone should have those expectations...that is why guys are there....to ask girls out on dates....what the hell does she expect jeeeezzzuuuus. This. It's not too soon to ask... but when she says she wants more time to chat, you really have two options: 1) "alright. i understand completely... let's chat a bit more." (followed by a few days of chatting before you ask to meet in person.) 2) deciding to not continue chatting online with this person. Honestly, when I was online dating I was more reticent to give out my phone number than I was to agree to meeting someone in person. I do agree that chatting online for too long is a waste of everyone's time... but as another poster said, the goal is to meet, not to chat. Instead of getting a phone number, make a plan to get coffee at a mutually-agreed-upon time. If this person continues to stall, though, understand that maybe she's not ready to meet anyone. Lots of people that are online aren't yet committed to really meeting people yet; it doesn't make sense, but there it is.
Jules Dash Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 I used to be the more reserved one when it came to exchanging numbers on dating sites. It is very common for women to say they prefer to talk via the phone and give me their number immediately when we begin chatting. When I think about it, I realize that those women are usually the ones i tend to date longer versus the ones who give out their numbers later or initially decline my offer to exchange numbers.
bettermistakes Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 rather than asking for hers, you could just give her yours. Then you're not really pushing her to do something she may not be comfortable with. She can reach out to you when/if she's ready. 1
joseb Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 Honestly, when I was online dating I was more reticent to give out my phone number than I was to agree to meeting someone in person. I do agree that chatting online for too long is a waste of everyone's time... but as another poster said, the goal is to meet, not to chat. Instead of getting a phone number, make a plan to get coffee at a mutually-agreed-upon time. If this person continues to stall, though, understand that maybe she's not ready to meet anyone. Lots of people that are online aren't yet committed to really meeting people yet; it doesn't make sense, but there it is. I agree with this. What use is the number really anyway? Most people will then just switch to texting which is no better. I usually chat a bit and if she asks a question needing a long reply say something like how about i tell you over coffee, how does early next week sound? 1
nescafe1982 Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 I usually chat a bit and if she asks a question needing a long reply say something like how about i tell you over coffee, how does early next week sound? That's smooth, joseb. I would go for that (and seem to recall that working when men wrote that to me online). Hakim, I think this is the best answer you'll get for your question... try it out! And good luck!
MzLady Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 Of course you didn't ruin it. Do you know how many emails girls get on these online dating sites? It's absolute craziness... especially if she is cute. So imagine if she gave her number out to every guy that asked... she'd have a hotline in no time. Just keep chatting w/ her over the dating site. Give it a week to see if she stays interested. If she does, just ask her if it's ok to give her your # and that you'd like to chat with her more. That simple. Good luck!
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