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Had sex in car last night and he hasnt called

Stillhaventlearned

By Stillhaventlearned
in General Relationship Discussion

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RecentChange Established Member

RecentChange

Posted
Posted (edited)

As for shorts, I am in California, it was 95 this weekend. I am sure its still warm in FL etc as well.

 

And dang OP - I think you went wrong with banging a guy from the neighborhood - hopefully he isn't a talker ;)

 

I save the car F'ing for a boy friend - or someone that doesn't know anyone else I know! I would say that I am joking but I am not hahahahaha

 

Pro tip - way eaiser to go for a ride in the back seat, no steering wheels or E brakes

Edited by RecentChange
craw Established Member

craw

Posted
Posted
What I find funny about this thread is the OP is ignoring all people that asked if the guy used a condom and pointing out the obvious flaw in her decision making, but is very happy for the people that are showing her pity. :laugh:

 

 

 

Wow really? That's like saying having steamy sex in a car with a guy that may have not worn a condom, hardly constitutes she may get pregnant and/or contract an STD/STI. Good logic. Let's keep perpetuating ignorance.

 

uhh smoking weed is not such a big deal as you are making it out to be.

 

that's ignorance in itself.

  • Like 2
regine_phalange Established Member

regine_phalange

Posted
Posted

Since you won't end up pregnant with a transformers in your loins, everything is fine. Did he at least pay for the weed?

 

If he talks about you then blackmail him. Having a small penis is juicier gossip than a woman having sex in her car. :p

  • Like 3
salparadise Established Member

salparadise

Posted
Posted
Having a small penis is juicier gossip than a woman having sex in her car. :p

 

Yea, that's the next question... did you get a chance to measure it, and was he any good?

Michelle ma Belle Established Member

Michelle ma Belle

Posted
Posted
This sounds very judgemental, im already judging myself and feeling ****ty.

 

I'm sorry you're offended but you asked a question and I gave you an honest answer.

 

Given the name you chose for your profile on here I think a little tough love was appropriate.

 

Good luck.

hellohellohello Member

hellohellohello

Posted
Posted (edited)
What I find funny about this thread is the OP is ignoring all people that asked if the guy used a condom and pointing out the obvious flaw in her decision making, but is very happy for the people that are showing her pity. :laugh:

 

When someone clearly already feels bad about something she can no longer do anything about, the decent thing is not to make her feel any worse. The lack of empathy shown so far is ridiculous. We all make bad decisions sometimes, especially when romantic/sexual feelings are involved. If you can't say anything nice, then say nothing at all. If you want to be rude, self-righteous, or just can't pass up a chance to wag a finger and feel superior about yourself, at least don't disguise it as "tough love." Who are you even kidding?

Edited by hellohellohello
  • Like 1
edgygirl Established Member

edgygirl

Posted
Posted

I think those of us who have been on loveshack for a while know that this kind of behavior is a no-no, a real self esteem crasher, for her... Is it cynical of us? Yes. But understandable. We see the same posts from girls here day after day.

 

That's why I love this forum. You learn to be less naive about life. Hopefully OP learned the lesson. It's okay to have fun when you're young... of course it is. But doing this kind of thing while still expecting "respect" from guys makes women feel like crap the next day, when the guy cuts contact (and 99% chances he will). Hopefully she'll get it.

 

When someone clearly already feels bad about something she can no longer do anything about, the decent thing is not to make her feel any worse. The lack of empathy shown so far is ridiculous. We all make bad decisions sometimes, especially when romantic/sexual feelings are involved. If you can't say anything nice, then say nothing at all. If you want to be rude, self-righteous, or just can't pass up a chance to wag a finger and feel superior about yourself, at least don't disguise it as "tough love." Who are you even kidding?
  • Like 1
MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
Posted (edited)
Had sex in my car last night after a party. I met up with him for a dubi and then a little kissing and touching(weve done this before, always in my car��) then it progressed to me trying to sit on top of him but my shorts got in the way once I decided to go for it and then he tried on me and BAM!!! There I was practically under the steering wheel, emergency break under my a**, and feeling totally cheap.

I dont want anything serious with this guy, he seems to show interest here and there but nothing serious. I just feel like hes not going to respect me at all any more (if he ever did) and possibly talk about me.

The problem is that its a guy that lives in my neighborhood and knows EVERYONE.

Since last night he hasnt called, didnt even call to see if I got home ok or found parking and now its 4 pm and again he hasn't reached out. I feel like crap and dont know what I should do. Its not how I wanted to go down.

What should I do?

 

You say you don't want anything serious with him, so what would there be to do?

 

You can't undo the sex or have some awkward conversation about not wanting it to have gone down like that. I'd just leave it alone and move on from it. Unless you actually do like him but are denying it to yourself.

 

But if you truly don't want anything serious, then what's done is done and keep it moving. Even if for example he did tell folks, most people only care about rumors for so long before some new thing is the "headline" so they'd eventually get over it. All of us make mistakes or sometimes do things we end up regretting, unlike your screen name, we can make the choice to learn and do better next time. No use beating yourself up. This too shall pass.

Edited by MissBee
hellohellohello Member

hellohellohello

Posted
Posted (edited)
I think those of us who have been on loveshack for a while know that this kind of behavior is a no-no, a real self esteem crasher, for her... Is it cynical of us? Yes. But understandable. We see the same posts from girls here day after day.

 

To those of you on loveshack, what OP experienced may be something you've heard hundreds of times. But so what? OP is a new member and has a clean slate. Just because YOU are jaded doesn't mean you should take it out on her. Cynicism isn't what I'd use to describe most of the replies in this thread, being a jerk is more like it, and I stand by my previous statement that if you can't say nothing nice then say nothing at all. I mean, it's so much easier to click on the back button, but some of you chose to write unhelpful comments that only served to make OP feel worse. Why?

 

That's why I love this forum. You learn to be less naive about life. Hopefully OP learned the lesson. It's okay to have fun when you're young... of course it is. But doing this kind of thing while still expecting "respect" from guys makes women feel like crap the next day, when the guy cuts contact (and 99% chances he will). Hopefully she'll get it.
I thought it was fairly obvious, from the emotional original post, that OP knew he wasn't going to call her and that she was trying to vent and seek comfort rather than asking for advice. All this talk about wanting OP to learn her lesson via "tough love" is nonsense. Your post is at least worded carefully enough for it to not come off as obnoxious, albeit still condescending, but previous posters were practically gloating and taunting OP. Why? Edited by hellohellohello
  • Like 1
edgygirl Established Member

edgygirl

Posted
Posted

Hmm... guess one needs thick skin to be on LS. I didn't perceive any posts as real jerky to be honest.

 

If you stick around here, you're both going to see much worse posts around.

 

When I first came here, I was also a little outraged by people being cynical when I was in pain. But... truth is, the overall cynicism of the forum eventually "clicked", and I started making much better decisions, specially in issues pertaining to self esteem. I think the best way to get it when it pertains to women self-esteem is hearing the cold truth. Which is, respect yourself first, otherwise you won't be respected. Most women (including me) often only learn it the hard way.

 

I wish I came here when I started online dating and got the cold truth way before I did. It helps. Usually doesn't come from a bad place in their hearts, as most posters here are really cool people who spend their time helping others online.

 

To those of you on loveshack, what OP experienced may be something you've heard hundreds of times. But so what? OP is a new member and has a clean slate. Just because YOU are jaded doesn't mean you should take it out on her. Cynicism isn't what I'd use to describe most of the replies in this thread, being a jerk is more like it, and I stand by my previous statement that if you can't say nothing nice then say nothing at all. I mean, it's so much easier to click on the back button, but some of you chose to write unhelpful comments that only served to make OP feel worse. Why?

 

I thought it was fairly obvious, from the emotional original post, that OP knew he wasn't going to call her and that she was trying to vent and seek comfort rather than asking for advice. All this talk about wanting OP to learn her lesson via "tough love" is nonsense. Your post is at least worded carefully enough for it to not come off as obnoxious, albeit still condescending, but previous posters were practically gloating and taunting OP. Why?

  • Like 1
Got it Established Member

Got it

Posted
Posted

I am in the middle, yes some comments are just jerky because that is how some people are. So some thickening of skin is in the audience's best interest because that is just the reality and isn't worth getting upset about. But sometimes they are just pot shots to take pot shots and aren't worth any other focus.

 

My advice, take what you want and leave the rest. We can't dictate how other people react, outside of following forum rules, so all we can do is control our reaction/value we place on what we read.

 

The OP may have made a mistake. Life happens. And if this is the worst thing done it's a pretty good day/year. ;)

 

My advice, if you can find a silver lining, a lesson to learn from any mistake then it was a moment of value. So learn from the experience, decide what you would and wouldn't do again and go from there.

  • Like 1
Frank2thepoint Established Member

Frank2thepoint

Posted
Posted
When someone clearly already feels bad about something she can no longer do anything about, the decent thing is not to make her feel any worse. The lack of empathy shown so far is ridiculous. We all make bad decisions sometimes, especially when romantic/sexual feelings are involved. If you can't say anything nice, then say nothing at all. If you want to be rude, self-righteous, or just can't pass up a chance to wag a finger and feel superior about yourself, at least don't disguise it as "tough love." Who are you even kidding?

 

First off, OP posted this issue of hers on a public forum dedicated to relationship advice. People have a right to their opinions in a respectful manner of course. Just as you have the right to disagree and comment about my comment about her decision making.

 

Second, coddling the OP with pity won't help her in the long run. In fact, if you think about it, the finger wagging, the disapproval of her behavior, is similar to how a parent disciplines their child, and how man-made laws draw clear lines on what is acceptable human behavior. Yes the OP is free to go have hookup sex and do drugs as much as she wants. It's her life. But when she pulls other people into it, especially people that don't want to be part of it, that's when it becomes a problem. She pulled LS in by mentioning her issue, so it's only natural people will have opinions on her behavior.

 

Third, since you are new here, and to supplement what edgygirl was saying, there are far more worse topics and issues posted on LS than one person's poor decision making with hookup partner. There are married people discussing hooking up with partners, while disrespecting their marriage (why did they get married in the first place?). There are threads on men hating women, and women hating men. The former is easily identifiable, while the latter is subtly disguised.

  • Like 1
  • 2 weeks later...
perol Member

perol

Posted
Posted

It sounds like you really want something more from this guy, maybe you're in a bit of denial when you say you aren't looking for anything serious?

 

I get that you want to be cared for, after screwing the guy it would be nice if he looked after you, made sure you got home safely, called you the next day..but he doesn't see you as anything more than a casual lay, and he really has no reason to think otherwise.

 

You may want to explore why you're settling for scraps when you could have a guy in your life that loves and respects you.

readynow Established Member

readynow

Posted
Posted

Here's what to do next since you feel bad about it and you don't want anything serious with the guy: if he shows up, by phone, in person, etc, act as though it never happened and brush him off gently, youre busy, no biggie.

 

If he brings up the night, just go, 'meh' and change the subject. If he wants a repeat, just say 'no thanks, it didn't quite work for me'. Don't go into explaining or saying how bad you feel, do all your venting here.

 

To him, pretend it was like a leaf blowing past. The pain will go away quickly if you let it go. Trust me, I've been exactly where you are - not in the car though :p

  • Like 3
Grapesofwrath Established Member

Grapesofwrath

Posted
Posted

Maybe it's possible to reframe the situation, without the slut-shaming ideology, so you don't feel so lousy: looked at another way...you are a woman who hasn't had sex in a while (4 years?! You are hardly sleeping around...) and you decided that you wanted some. No strings attached. You went for it, while using protection, to satisfy your need. You aren't cheating on anyone and are free to do as you please. From that standpoint, who cares if he calls you? This wasn't done as a way to start a relationship or to get anything further from him. It was done to satisfy a desire that you had. Who cares what people in your neighborhood think? None of their business.

  • Like 1
craw Established Member

craw

Posted
Posted
Trust me, I've been exactly where you are - not in the car though :p

 

Same here! Similar situation

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