Lois_Griffin Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 I have see him cry during this time. This is Clue #1, #2, and #3. What do you need 'closure' on? That he's nowhere NEAR emotionally ready to be dating anyone and you were the unfortunate rebound? Oh geez. Reading further in the thread I see he's not even DIVORCED yet. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER date separated men. 2
Author so gutted Posted June 14, 2016 Author Posted June 14, 2016 Do you really think he's going to jump out of a 20 year marriage and into a new marriage and having kids with you? If I recall correctly, you desperately want marriage and children. This just feels like a complete waste of time for you. Actually he said he wants to get married again but in 1 year.
Author so gutted Posted June 14, 2016 Author Posted June 14, 2016 So family orientated he decided to cheat on his wife, split up their marriage and have his kids living without a Dad. Yeah just the perfect man to hitch your wagon to. The kids live with him... He is a good dad.
elaine567 Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 Actually he said he wants to get married again but in 1 year. To who? .....................
elaine567 Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 The kids live with him... He is a good dad. Even more reason to stay away, he will be just looking for a nanny/ housekeeper...
CarrieT Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 He is a good dad. No, he is not. You said in your very first post that you met his kids when you two had barely been dating a month: I met a guy over a month, many times. We spent a lot of time together. I met his kids, family and he cooked dinner for me in his house. A good parent does not get his/her children involved in his love life until and unless he/she KNOWS the relationship is going to last and stand the test of time. You don't know how many other women this guy may have dated and done this to. It is not fair to the children to be subjected to a revolving door of "potential stepmothers" who float in and out of their life. Does that make any sense? If he were a good parent, he would wait until he was divorced to date and even then, he would wait six or eight months into dating someone before introducing her to his children. 5
Zahara Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 The kids live with him... He is a good dad. You need to get a new measuring stick. Just because his kids live with him, doesn't mean he's a good father. The fact that he introduced you to his kids so soon into meeting you was a HUGE red flag.
Author so gutted Posted June 14, 2016 Author Posted June 14, 2016 You need to get a new measuring stick. Just because his kids live with him, doesn't mean he's a good father. The fact that he introduced you to his kids so soon into meeting you was a HUGE red flag. I mean he looks after his kids day to day, has responsibilities. He has disappeared, no contact all day. Im not chasing but do feel very upset. He has led me on again, given me hope by coming back and left me hanging.
CarrieT Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 I mean he looks after his kids day to day, has responsibilities. He has disappeared, no contact all day. Im not chasing but do feel very upset. He has led me on again, given me hope by coming back and left me hanging. Good. I hate to say it, but for your sake, I hope you never hear from him again. The guy is bad news. I'm sorry you are hurting, but I wish you could see how toxic this dude is.... 2
Author so gutted Posted June 14, 2016 Author Posted June 14, 2016 Good. I hate to say it, but for your sake, I hope you never hear from him again. The guy is bad news. I'm sorry you are hurting, but I wish you could see how toxic this dude is.... I think i am seeing this now. It does feel a bit out of charecter and nasty of him. We spoke for a long time and he told me a lot about his feelings etc and acknowledged how he felt guilty for raising my hopes. He promised not to disappear again. I called him up on it. There is no more I can do.
CarrieT Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 We spoke for a long time and he told me a lot about his feelings etc and acknowledged how he felt guilty for raising my hopes. This is important. I believe he told you what you would want to hear to get ensnared - and it worked. You really have no idea if what he told you was the truth. It does feel a bit out of charecter and nasty of him. Frankly, I think what you are seeing now *is* is true character. What you believed to be true and honorable was a complete façade. There is no more I can do. Yes there is. You can re-delete his number AND block it. 2
Author so gutted Posted June 14, 2016 Author Posted June 14, 2016 This is important. I believe he told you what you would want to hear to get ensnared - and it worked. You really have no idea if what he told you was the truth. Frankly, I think what you are seeing now *is* is true character. What you believed to be true and honorable was a complete façade. Yes there is. You can re-delete his number AND block it. I agree, his true colours.probably begging his wife to come back! 1
Author so gutted Posted June 15, 2016 Author Posted June 15, 2016 So he finally sms me late at night (knowing i wouldbe asleeo), a general how are you. Then extracted out of him that he has a few issues with wife, a bit messy. No more. Either he is sorting put the divorce or avoiding me because he led me on again with no action. Im pretty hurt but know he will not deliver.
CarrieT Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 If you block him, he won't be able to SMS you and try to get to you.
katiegrl Posted June 15, 2016 Posted June 15, 2016 If you block him, he won't be able to SMS you and try to get to you. Agree.... I don't get why people don't block! Then complain that he/she keeps texting, and they can't move on cuz of it... Block! Delete, next, move on. It's time. 1
Author so gutted Posted July 9, 2016 Author Posted July 9, 2016 You were all correct, i didnt listen and suffered. I allowed him to see me. Lead me on. He then disappeared again. On my birthday he sent a simple happy birthday sms late in the day (after 3 days of no contact). Said he has been depressed. Nothing after that. All my friends remembered my birthday. I feel like i knew this was coming and i brought it all on myself. Im so desperate to have a child before its too late that i even accepted this. He has not changed. I wake up empty, this was my last chance. I curse him and his kids. I am the 3rd woman to really hate him.
Gaeta Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 accepted this. He has not changed. I wake up empty, this was my last chance. I curse himand his kids. I am the 3rd woman to really hate him. Something is wrong with you please seek professional help. 2
Zahara Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 Im so desperate to have a child before its too late that i even accepted this. I think when you're so obsessed, you're only going to keep making bad choices. Hence your repeated patterns of choosing and staying in bad situations. He has not changed. I wake up empty, this was my last chance. I curse him and his kids. I am the 3rd woman to really hate him. You're angry, but what did his kids do to you? That's uncalled for and certainly disturbing. Take responsibility for your own life -- his kids had no part in your obsession and desperation. 4
Author so gutted Posted July 9, 2016 Author Posted July 9, 2016 He has a daughter. Why should she grow up and meet a nice man if her father is exploiting women? Men like this only learn if it happens to their daughters.
ChickiePops Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 He has a daughter. Why should she grow up and meet a nice man if her father is exploiting women? Men like this only learn if it happens to their daughters. This is seriously twisted thinking. His daughter has done NOTHING to you. Her fathers' behavior has nothing to do with her. I agree with the other poster who said you should seek help. You are most definitely not prepared to be a mother if you think this way. 3
Zahara Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 He has a daughter. Why should she grow up and meet a nice man if her father is exploiting women? Men like this only learn if it happens to their daughters. This actually gives insight into who you are as a person. Hopefully, you're saying this out of anger and hurt but if this is your true mindset, then I have to wonder why you keep facing these bad situations. It's likely that this vile and unpleasant side of you shines through. 5
Gaeta Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 He has a daughter. Why should she grow up and meet a nice man if her father is exploiting women? Men like this only learn if it happens to their daughters. YOU let him exploit you. You admitted to it. Your hate and resentment toward innocent children is indicative of a deep emotional instability. 2
Author so gutted Posted July 10, 2016 Author Posted July 10, 2016 I dont hate his kids. I can only see him Suffering or understanding what he has done if the same is done to his loved ones. This man never learns. His wife had a mental breakdown due to his cheating. He then went onto another victim andnow me. There is no accountability or justice.
Zahara Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 I dont hate his kids. I can only see him Suffering or understanding what he has done if the same is done to his loved ones. This man never learns. His wife had a mental breakdown due to his cheating. He then went onto another victim andnow me. There is no accountability or justice. You just wished ill will on an innocent child. You don't hate his kids?! His children shouldn't be paying for his wrongdoing. No one is accountable -- except for him and those that choose to stay with him -- YOU. All this has nothing to do with his children. As Gaeta mentioned, you should seek professional help. Your line of thinking is destructive and vile. 5
Gaeta Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 I dont hate his kids. I can only see him Suffering or understanding what he has done if the same is done to his loved ones. This man never learns. His wife had a mental breakdown due to his cheating. He then went onto another victim andnow me. There is no accountability or justice. Stop thinking about him and what he has done for a minute. Now think about YOU and YOUR part into this. YOU CHOSE to see a man that drove his wife to a break down YOU CHOSE to see a man that repeated his emotional abuse on a second woman YOU CHOSE to keep on seeing him even though he kept ghosting on you. YOU are 100% responsible of what you let in your life. YOU and only YOU let this man in your life. When YOU stop blaming other people for your unhappiness and understand you are 100% responsible of what YOU let people do to you, you will start living better. 2
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