What is the best way to have a discussion with a know-it-all?

[HansonGirl]

I have a few people in my life who are very opinionated know-it-alls. I am more laid back but sometimes talking with these people makes me feel like my blood pressure is going up. This particularly true when they start raising their voice and telling you what to do, or criticizing what you have done. Does anybody know the type I am talking about? Ok so how do you all deal with this? I don't like getting into an argument with them or competing with them, but i have in the past found myself getting into it, until i step back and think, wow, what a waste of my time. Part of me thinks I just feel disrespected, and I want to make my opinions count in the face of somebody who is trying to put their own opinion above everyone elses.

Anyways, how does one deal with these types. It makes me not even want to talk to this one friend i have because she gets like that, and starts telling me what I "should" do, and basically calls me an idiot for not doing what she would have done. Instead of simply listening. Even when i don't ask for her advice, she will give it anyway.

 

Anyways, if you find yourself in such a conversation, what do you do? (aside from avoiding getting in the conversation - let's say you're already in it!)

[mrldii]

...Anyways, if you find yourself in such a conversation, what do you do? (aside from avoiding getting in the conversation - let's say you're already in it!)

 

Since they already know it all, I simply state (reiterate?) the obvious and say, "The purpose of a discussion is to share ideas and to converse back-and-forth. Since you already know it all, there's really no point IN continuing a discussion, now is there?"

 

And then (and this is the important part), I simply shut up. After the appropriate amount of time has passed to allow them (and others) to realize it is now a monologue and no longer a discussion, I walk away.

[Got it]

I stop talking.

[craw]

I usually don't associate with these people, but the best way is to not to reveal your opinion and let them talk. You can ask a leading question to whatever boring bs they are talking about.

[Frank2thepoint]

You could just stand your ground, tell them you won't take their advice because you don't think it is the right advice for you.

[BlueIris]

Ask questions. Be curious.

[newmoon]

i fight right back. why allow someone to talk to you that way? if you allow it, they keep doing it. oddly, when you fight back they realize you will stand your ground and often, they will avoid you because now you become too opinionated and combative. i've had that happen - all of a sudden these know-it-all's think i'm the one to avoid because i like to argue.. fight back once in a while and they may not treat you the same way

[angel.eyes]

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

[PinkInTheLimo]

Best way to deal with a know-it-all? Beat them at their own game. Come prepared to a discussion with facts, figures, analyses, and everything else you need in order to prove them wrong. When you do, don't raise your voice, either. Speak at a calm, conversational level that exudes confidence, not the loud, brash voice of the insecure.

 

That's not possible. You might come up with the most pertinent and founded arguments, they will react with some non-sensical ones just to destabilise you.

You can't win with these people.

 

I had a few of those in my life and my conclusion is that it is better to avoid them. With a know-it-all talking is never about the dialogue and the exchange. It's about winning and they will never ever let you have the last word.

[Gloria25]

I stop talking.

 

And agree with them. That will take the wind out of their sails...

 

Also, constantly seek out their opinion/advice. That way they'll probably tire of having to give out their all-encompassing knowledge to you.

 

I ain't gonna lie, I sorta think I know it all. And, I'm very opinionated. Yea, I suck at times but think I am open to other's perspectives

[autumnnight]

I find myself in these circular crazy making cycles every once in awhile.

 

Bottom line, if they have to work that hard and be that condescending just to prove to me they are smarter than I am....

 

They probably aren't

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Best way to deal with a know-it-all? Beat them at their own game. Come prepared to a discussion with facts, figures, analyses, and everything else you need in order to prove them wrong. When you do, don't raise your voice, either. Speak at a calm, conversational level that exudes confidence, not the loud, brash voice of the insecure.

 

I can see this working.

 

Except for the occasions where you research wrong information and think you're right, only to show up to talk to a know-it-all and find out you're actually wrong and he/she was right all along, further proving your own shortcomings and their intellectual superiority.

 

I don't think that's what you intended.

[Got it]

And agree with them. That will take the wind out of their sails...

 

Also, constantly seek out their opinion/advice. That way they'll probably tire of having to give out their all-encompassing knowledge to you.

 

I ain't gonna lie, I sorta think I know it all. And, I'm very opinionated. Yea, I suck at times but think I am open to other's perspectives

 

Um, no. You do not agree with them, you sure as hell don't invite pain by seeking out their opinion. You give no feedback, let it roll into uncomfortable silence when they finally pause for air and find your escape. If this requires throwing someone else in the line of fire to do so, well all is fair in love and know it alls.