daniel0102 Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 My girlfriend dumped me and as we were having the breakup talk she became very emotional and teary. Should I have comforted her by hugging or holding her hand? Or is that all over once she starts to dump you? Thoughts thanks!
endlessabyss Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 No. you're doing yourself more harm than good. You are comforting her, but she will end up not returning the favor. Once she is over grieving you will be stuck on your own, healing. If I was you I would split, and start the process now. And no matter how many times it is said here, don't reach back out to her once you cut ties. Every time you reach out you start all the way back over. Good luck; these things are hard, but you'll make it out of this a better person. Promise.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 No, you shouldn't have comforted her. This was her decision, she's a big girl. She can handle her emotions.
mightycpa Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 My girlfriend dumped me and as we were having the breakup talk she became very emotional and teary. Should I have comforted her by hugging or holding her hand? Or is that all over once she starts to dump you? Thoughts thanks!I think that all depends on you. Do you want a sweet goodbye, where both of you are crying, or a cold one, or a friendly one? I would think a lot depends on the words she's using too... if she's blaming you, then you might not want to comfort her. If she's blaming herself, then you have to figure out if it's bull**** or real. The perfect breakup is where you choke down all your emotions, go expressionless, then smile, look into her eyes and say OK. I sure am going to miss having sex with you. You've set the bar really high, and it's going to be hard for me to find someone who measures up. But it'll be a lot of fun looking for her. Good luck.and then walk away, never to be heard from again. You cavemen guys might think that you're giving her a compliment right there at the end, but it won't be received that way. I think if you comfort each other, that's perfectly fine.
Hell Yeah Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 (edited) I think that all depends on you. Do you want a sweet goodbye, where both of you are crying, or a cold one, or a friendly one? I would think a lot depends on the words she's using too... if she's blaming you, then you might not want to comfort her. If she's blaming herself, then you have to figure out if it's bull**** or real. The perfect breakup is where you choke down all your emotions, go expressionless, then smile, look into her eyes and say and then walk away, never to be heard from again. You cavemen guys might think that you're giving her a compliment right there at the end, but it won't be received that way. I think if you comfort each other, that's perfectly fine. haha that's brilliant!! better than my exit! my ex just laid in bed looking at the wall, wouldn't even look at me......after telling me she doesn't know if she wanted to be with me so I got out of bed she asked me where I'm going....... gave her the dignity speech, kissed her forehead tenderly and told her i loved her and the kids and walked out.......only to have her daughter in her room ask me where i was going. That stopped me in my tracks and pretty much killed me as i had to lie. Felt terrible and still do back to the point and BIG HELL NO.....comfort for them is not applicable!!!!!! Edited September 27, 2015 by Hell Yeah update
NoLeafClover Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 Thats like double screwing yourself over
dumbass2 Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 "Is it ok to comfort your 'ex' while they are dumping you?" Yes, it is okto put your arm around her andher head on your chest andtell her that everything's going to be ok and that you agree that it is the right thing to do and then apologize for her having to be the one to do it.
MrReborn Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 By doing that you pretty much approved of her behavior, and did nothing but give her more of a reason to break up with you. She's pushing you out of her life and you comforted her doing that? That doesn't even make sense, and that's a feminine quality, not a masculine one. Just saying, you could have improved your chances of getting back together with her if you just walked away. It shows strength and that you're centered by walking away, which is attractive(knowing what you want). 1
Bo34 Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 By doing that you pretty much approved of her behavior, and did nothing but give her more of a reason to break up with you. She's pushing you out of her life and you comforted her doing that? That doesn't even make sense, and that's a feminine quality, not a masculine one. Just saying, you could have improved your chances of getting back together with her if you just walked away. It shows strength and that you're centered by walking away, which is attractive(knowing what you want). Man, I feel like such an idiot!!! When my ex broke up with me at the very end she came onto me and kissed me. Instead of just walking away, we kissed. I regret it soooooo damnnn muchhh!!!!! I was in such shock of what was happening that I was paralyzed from really thinking about things and what to do. Do you think that killed any chance I had of getting her back??? I have gone completele NC since that day and it's been 2 months now. I have not begged or pleaded, but that last image really burns me to this day and I feel like it in her eyes, she looked down on me even though she came for the kiss. What do u think?
MrReborn Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 Man, I feel like such an idiot!!! When my ex broke up with me at the very end she came onto me and kissed me. Instead of just walking away, we kissed. I regret it soooooo damnnn muchhh!!!!! I was in such shock of what was happening that I was paralyzed from really thinking about things and what to do. Do you think that killed any chance I had of getting her back??? I have gone completele NC since that day and it's been 2 months now. I have not begged or pleaded, but that last image really burns me to this day and I feel like it in her eyes, she looked down on me even though she came for the kiss. What do u think? It doesn't matter whether or not if you killed the chance. Women determine the status of the relartionship, not the man(it's proven by how many women just assume they're friends with a guy when he probably wants more). She'll come back on her own terms if she wants to. To answer your question though, it was a final test to see if you would back away or do what she pleases.
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