adiamond Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Sometimes I feel like, if I move on and stop thinking about him, he'll forget about me. This is totally irrational because we don't even talk anymore and he is dating again. Some days I'll go and not think about him too much, realize that I didn't think about him too much that day and feel a weird. I know what I do, doesn't change anything. Thinking about him or not is not going to make him move on any faster/slower. It is not like I lost the best boyfriend ever. He had lots of potential and we had a good connection, I thought. 1
marcusdevilliers Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 Sometimes I feel like, if I move on and stop thinking about him, he'll forget about me. This is totally irrational because we don't even talk anymore and he is dating again. Some days I'll go and not think about him too much, realize that I didn't think about him too much that day and feel a weird. I know what I do, doesn't change anything. Thinking about him or not is not going to make him move on any faster/slower. It is not like I lost the best boyfriend ever. He had lots of potential and we had a good connection, I thought. If someone doesnt want you in there life.. you dont want them. peopkle that want you fight fr you and do all they can to keep you, if he has moved on so should you. move on with your life be happy no matter what and your life is gonna be fine without him.. where the mind goes the body follows. so think and be happy.
Liono84 Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 Ohh man, this is EXACTLY what I'm going through right now. If you have 2 minutes watch this scene from the movie Swingers. In this scene, Rob, talks to Mikey about letting go and he reflects that sometimes he misses the pain for the same reason he misses his ex. I know exactly what you're going through. I'll have a few days where I'm feeling real good. This is usually on the weekends where I'm preoccupied with a lot of stuff, whether it's going out with friends, family, or just events in general. I really won't think about her because I'm so busy and then I'll suddenly catch myself realizing that I haven't thought about her and I'll get really sad because I'll say to myself if I was hurting so bad for so long and now things are slowly getting good again and I'm not thinking about her, then of course she isn't thinking about me especially being that she was the dumper. I think the reason why you're afraid of letting go is because the memory is the last resemblance of your ex that you have left. I'ts no longer you and your ex, rather it's you and the thoughts/memories of your ex. It's the only thing that ties you to your ex right now. So, in finally letting go and not thinking about your ex, you're in essence, letting go of him. And you're afraid of that because you still love him. I wouldn't say you're over him, at least not yet, but this is the last stage of the healing process and letting go. I'm at the same stage as you. 1
mightycpa Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 Forgotten is probably a little strong, but it is safe to say that they are not thinking of you. Besides, the alternative is too terrible to contemplate - that they ****ed everything up for no good reason.
NoLeafClover Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 .....what other options do you really have
Author adiamond Posted September 27, 2015 Author Posted September 27, 2015 How long were you dating? a month before the year mark
Author adiamond Posted September 27, 2015 Author Posted September 27, 2015 Ohh man, this is EXACTLY what I'm going through right now. If you have 2 minutes watch this scene from the movie Swingers. In this scene, Rob, talks to Mikey about letting go and he reflects that sometimes he misses the pain for the same reason he misses his ex. I know exactly what you're going through. I'll have a few days where I'm feeling real good. This is usually on the weekends where I'm preoccupied with a lot of stuff, whether it's going out with friends, family, or just events in general. I really won't think about her because I'm so busy and then I'll suddenly catch myself realizing that I haven't thought about her and I'll get really sad because I'll say to myself if I was hurting so bad for so long and now things are slowly getting good again and I'm not thinking about her, then of course she isn't thinking about me especially being that she was the dumper. I think the reason why you're afraid of letting go is because the memory is the last resemblance of your ex that you have left. I'ts no longer you and your ex, rather it's you and the thoughts/memories of your ex. It's the only thing that ties you to your ex right now. So, in finally letting go and not thinking about your ex, you're in essence, letting go of him. And you're afraid of that because you still love him. I wouldn't say you're over him, at least not yet, but this is the last stage of the healing process and letting go. I'm at the same stage as you. sometimes I'm scared I'm going to bounce back to where I was before 1
Liono84 Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 (edited) sometimes I'm scared I'm going to bounce back to where I was before I'm only going to go off of my personal situation to compare to, but given what you said is indeed true, I don't think you will. Like I said, I still think you have strong feeling for your ex and love him. You're not over him yet, but it seems to me that you have past the grieving stage, and are making good strides in the healing stage. It's a pretty big accomplishment when you catch yourself realizing you're not thinking of him life before. I'm in the same boat and it's a back and forth process for me too, but I know this means it's definitely getting better. That's not a small thing. I'm not saying that you'll completely forget him very soon, but that it will slowly get there. Like a drip by drip process of water leaking in the sink, only for you to later find out you have a huge bowl of water. The only way you will get back to where you were before and break the strides you made in healing is if you contact him.. Edited September 27, 2015 by Liono84
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