max3732 Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 I'm on Eharmony and am setting up a 1st date. After a couple messages I suggested meeting in person and she agreed and said she was thinking the same thing. She lives extremely close to me and parking is a problem with most restaurants so was thinking of offering to pick her up. My thought is that will give us time to interact on the way there and back. On the other hand, is there a safety issue with both of us since we've never met in person? Also, I was thinking of going to lunch so it's more casual and faster than dinner. There's also a garden close to us, but I don't know if that's too much for a 1st date since you normally spend several hours there and it can get pretty hot. All I really know about her is that she is she loves traveling. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I've been on a few 1st dates so far and I haven't liked any of them so far, but I'm hoping there will be some chemistry here.
d0nnivain Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 For safety reasons she isn't going to let you pick her up. If you so much as offer she may think you are trying to case her house to rob her or want to rape her. While I understand your reasoning it's a bad first move. Lunch is fine. Quick. Less pressure.
Siquijor Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Just meet her for a drink somewhere and forget the meal on the first date and picking her up. Behave yourself though. Some have "company" in the background watching your every move.
PogoStick Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 There is nothing wrong with offering to pick her up. I've had women accept it on a first date. Many will decline but I feel it's fine to offer. Lunch should be fine. Hold off on the garden. If it's nearby then you can suggest it at the end of lunch and it will be a way to gauge her interest. Or is it a like a big attraction that you pay $10-15 to get into? If it's free and can be done in under an hour then go for it.
Gaeta Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 A coffee shop A walk in a park Brunch No more than this for a first meeting. Do not offer her to pick her up. She will find it suspicious, after all you are both strangers from the Internet. Meet at the point of rendez-vous and don't worry how she will get there. She's a big girl.
Maggie4 Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Why don't you ask her? - "parking is a problem, would you like to carpool?" If yes, - "where would you like me to pick you up?" As for the garden, you can suggest it to her as something to do next time (if you like her). 1
Guyouthere Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 Tell her that you need to stop by your warehouse to prepare the 55 gallon drum for her body. Then play Mr. Nice Guy and act like all is cool. hehehe
Redhead14 Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 I'm on Eharmony and am setting up a 1st date. After a couple messages I suggested meeting in person and she agreed and said she was thinking the same thing. She lives extremely close to me and parking is a problem with most restaurants so was thinking of offering to pick her up. My thought is that will give us time to interact on the way there and back. On the other hand, is there a safety issue with both of us since we've never met in person? Also, I was thinking of going to lunch so it's more casual and faster than dinner. There's also a garden close to us, but I don't know if that's too much for a 1st date since you normally spend several hours there and it can get pretty hot. All I really know about her is that she is she loves traveling. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I've been on a few 1st dates so far and I haven't liked any of them so far, but I'm hoping there will be some chemistry here. Never pick up a date on the first date. A) safety issue, of course, but B) if the date didn't go well/was awkward, you are stuck in the car with her afterward. And for a first meeting from online, you don't have a "date". You have a meet up. Coffee or drinks for an hour or so just to confirm that they are who they say they are and look like their pictures. If the "chemistry" is that good, you can extend it. You also don't want to spend a lot of money on them either in case there isn't enough there for you to decide to take them out again.
Author max3732 Posted September 27, 2015 Author Posted September 27, 2015 Thanks for the help everyone. We're going to meet for a quick lunch. I suggested a place that turns out is in walking distance to where she works. After lunch I'm assuming I should walk her back to her office. I can usually hold up a conversation with anyone for an hour, but what's tough for me is to figure out things like should I try to hold her hand, give her a hug, or try and kiss her. I've seen posts here complaining the guy didn't try to kiss her after multiple dates, but for the 1st is a hug at the end ok?
angel.eyes Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 (edited) That's tough because her co-workers may be at the lunch spot since it's only a couple of blocks from her office. Some aren't comfortable providing fodder for the office gossip mill. Play it by ear and see how she behaves on the date. To be honest, since you're not finding chemistry on first dates, I would avoid lunch. Especially on a weekday when you both have time constraints, they can feel business-like. Try to plan dates that put both of you in a romantic frame of mind. Then you're more likely to have that romantic spark...i.e. both find some chemistry. I did eHarmony twice, and ended up in LTRs with really great guys both times. The vast majority of my first dates started with dinner and then got extended once we hit it off. Edited September 27, 2015 by angel.eyes
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