thecrucible Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 Hey honey, I know how you feel. I remember back when I was 18, I was absolutely devastated when my long term boyfriend stopped talking to me for two weeks. I was too naive to realise that this was him leaving the relationship in a very cowardly and crappy way. When I got in contact with him, he finally decided to break up with me. Looking back now, I would just blank him and not bother reaching out at all since he had chosen to act in that way. Like the above poster said, the guy is a massive idiot. Anyone who genuinely cares about you would do the decent thing and talk to you rather than leave you hanging for several days. Just think, you don't need the kind of guy in your life who can't act like a mature adult.
Terry8889 Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 I agree with most people here, Im going through the same. You posted on my question too. Be glad it was only two months. My "bf" (ex now) did it after more than 2 long years over something stupid. I noticed he was not sweet anymore over texts. I only saw him once or twice a week bc of work and school. We never call we just texted and emailed each other. I dont like calling people anyways thats how I am and he was too. I would tell him "cant wait to see you" and he would say "cool". I was like ?? loving bfs usually say me too or whatever. Idk never confronted him about things like that. But he maybe lost interest in the realtionship God knows why. I guess he was not into me anymore bc someone who truly wants you in his life overlooks silly issues in the relationship. Man who really love someone would often even forgive cheating (im not saying thats okay) but just to give an example. If he doesnt want to be part of my life anymore. There is nothing in this world I can do to change that.
Author MzLady Posted September 27, 2015 Author Posted September 27, 2015 Thank you for the support and understanding. I keep beating myself up for this. I feel like such a fool for letting my guard down and opening up to this guy. I honestly thought he was going to be different. I am trying to move forward and not dwell.. it's so hard though. I am trying to focus on my schoolwork, but it has been as struggle (I'm over 35 - just in case you were thinking I'm teenager) I know it's new and I shouldn't have feelings this strong, but I am usually so guarded and slow to let myself have feelings - and like an idiot, I let this guy in. Now I have to get him out
Terry8889 Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 Thank you for the support and understanding. I keep beating myself up for this. I feel like such a fool for letting my guard down and opening up to this guy. I honestly thought he was going to be different. I am trying to move forward and not dwell.. it's so hard though. I am trying to focus on my schoolwork, but it has been as struggle (I'm over 35 - just in case you were thinking I'm teenager) I know it's new and I shouldn't have feelings this strong, but I am usually so guarded and slow to let myself have feelings - and like an idiot, I let this guy in. Now I have to get him out How old is he? I know how it feels and it sucks. He actually did it once before a few months after we started "dating" "seeing each other" 2 years ago. At that time I didn't really care much when he disappeared bc I didnt even know him well. I was upset about it yes, but I did not contact him at all. 2 months later he came back asking for one more chance and said he was sorry that something ticked him off and that was why he went ghost on me. He said he was thankful I let him talk to me again. I haven't had that many romantic relationships, but all the men who I have dated seriously and left acting like jerks have come back months later. They all come back sooner or later depending on how much they valued you. I'm just gonna continue with my life and daily routine, if he decides to come back on day and apologize cool, if not well maybe it was not meant to be. You should do the same I am 27 btw
Gaeta Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 Thank you for the support and understanding. I keep beating myself up for this. I feel like such a fool for letting my guard down and opening up to this guy. I honestly thought he was going to be different. I am trying to move forward and not dwell.. it's so hard though. I am trying to focus on my schoolwork, but it has been as struggle (I'm over 35 - just in case you were thinking I'm teenager) I know it's new and I shouldn't have feelings this strong, but I am usually so guarded and slow to let myself have feelings - and like an idiot, I let this guy in. Now I have to get him out You did nothing wrong. He's a coward and you don't want that type of men in your life, right. I had it done to me by my 6 months boyfriend about 2 years ago. Took me a full year to get over it, I could not comprehend how someone could be so coward and heartless. His own children (who spoke to me after) could not understand why their father was cruel to just disappear. I am 49 by the way so there is no age to be fooled.
Author MzLady Posted September 28, 2015 Author Posted September 28, 2015 Just updating.. Still no word.. It has officially been a week. Having mostly good days the last couple of days so I am hoping that the hurting will be over soon. I really appreciate all the support I have received on here. I actually came back on just to re-read it because I had another moment of sadness. One day at a time, right? 1
Zippy2000 Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 Sorry to hear about what you`re going through. Its tough especailly when someone isnt as into you as you once though. If he isnt going to contact you in the next few days then he isnt really thinking about you or caring about you. Keep busy and get out and do things with your close friends. Leave him be for now and if he wants to come back to you then he will do in his own time.
Gaeta Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 Just updating.. Still no word.. It has officially been a week. Having mostly good days the last couple of days so I am hoping that the hurting will be over soon. I really appreciate all the support I have received on here. I actually came back on just to re-read it because I had another moment of sadness. One day at a time, right? Sweetie, go out with your girlfriends, have a blast, take a bunch of pictures and put them up on FB to show your life is JUST FINE without him!! 1
Leigh 87 Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 This has happened to me before but never after two months:sick: It happen after about one month thought. And after two dates where the guy acted super into me and all ofna sudden stopped. That felt awful enough I am going to south America soon. You can bet I'll keep on contact with my love most days. Because I love him and care too much for him to just...... Go on my merry way and drop the contact simply because I will be half way accross the world! People who are into you generally don't go days without contact..... Some folks aren't into texting every day to begin with, granted, however ; he did text you prior to the trip away and his behaviour changed. And hasn't reverted back to normal. I am so sorry. It takes ages to find a decent guy for most of us and men dissapearing on you with no explanation is rampant....... Most people really are @ holes in this world. We have all had to break up with someone....it's never nice, I HATE it yet I had the courage to call these men up or meet them in person face to face and tell them the truth! Never would I leave a poor guy wondering as to why the check he'd been cuddling with, sleeping with and feeling warm and fuzzy towards has suddenly stopped texting....... He's a jerk. The woman who he is into and ends up with isn't lucky. My own boyfriend would near dissapear on a woman. Because he's nice. This guy isn't a nice person.
Omei Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 You're right.. I probably am seeing his true colors.. Just so hurtful. You did nothing wrong you expressed your feelings in a calm respectful manner in relationships you should be able to do that without worrying about the status of your relationship. This guys a cowardly ass he wants out and used anything aka you sharing your feelings as his justification for leaving. This is bull**** if he contacts you I would ignore and forget about him. He's a loser.
Oregon_Dude Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 I had something similar happen 2 months ago. The girl I'd been dating for a few months went distant, then ignored me and that was it. These are often the hardest breakups to understand and overcome. There's no understanding it. The person maybe met someone else and up and cut you out, without you knowing. Who knows what changed with them. What's certain, however, is that you were not a priority to them, and that they lacked the basic human decency to have a final conversation with you stating these things. They're cowards who totally suck as partners. The hardest part is to not internalize their treatment of you as some kind of statement or fact about you; i.e., I am unlovable, flawed, unattractive, etc. No. The fact is that this person led you on, only to drop you just as quickly. Anyway OP, you're not alone. It really really hurts to feel thrown out like last week's trash. Give yourself the time to grieve it, because as I said, this unresolved, out of the blue, no-discussion breakups are the absolute f*cking worst. Then, pick yourself up, be your best friend and realize, "Hey! I'm totally great and deserving of the best partner in the world! I will either find another one or not, but I am an awesome, loving, kind and supportive human being!" 1
h0000 Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 I don't think you were clingy.yes you texted him daily but you didn't blow up his phone . I think there is someone else.
LostOnes05 Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 Yea, happens to us guys too. Don't worry you weren't clingy. I personally like when a woman calls me, rather than text me into oblivion. For me, it shows whether we can communicate well together even if we are in disagreement.
Author MzLady Posted October 1, 2015 Author Posted October 1, 2015 Thank you so much for all of the support. I've been coming on here to re-read the posts from everyone because they remind me of why I don't need to try to contact him again and to just leave it be. I'm still grieving over this relationship, but I know I am on the path to healing.
smackie9 Posted October 1, 2015 Posted October 1, 2015 Thank you so much for all of the support. I've been coming on here to re-read the posts from everyone because they remind me of why I don't need to try to contact him again and to just leave it be. I'm still grieving over this relationship, but I know I am on the path to healing. It's totally understandable.....you didn't get proper closure. You are still stuck on why it happened. So not fair.
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