kayla85 Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Please excuse any misspelled words and grammar issues I am in a hurry. Hello, I am a 30 year old single mom to a 2 year old. I have a decent job as I work in healthcare, my own car, and home, so I pretty much have that part of my life setup; however, I battled with depression and anxiety for most of my life due to my weight. I had the gastric bypass surgery earlier this year and have lost a total of 91 pounds so according to others I look amazing but I still dont see it. I tend to put myself in bad relationship almost like I am trying to self distruct. I always feel like I need to be in a relationship so I jump from one relationship to the other. I moved to a new town where I know no one for work. I started dating from online dating sites where I met this guy. He was so charming, funny, and affecionate. We talked everyday at least 2-3 times a day, facetime each other. We spend alot of time together and he gets along with my son. We finally decided to make it offecial and be boyfriend and girlfriends. BUT...... He seems strange in some areas, for one, he doesnt drive, he doesnt even have a drivers license, when I ask him about it he says its a long story. He spends most of his time playing video games. He goes to work, come home (Takes the bus) and sits in front of the TV playing video games all night until his eyes hurts, he doesnt even fix himself something to eat (even though he is a professional chef) he just microwave some hot pockets or make a sandwich and right back to the video game. On his day off he plays video games from 9am-pass midnight. Whenever we hang out, I have to drive almost a hour to pick him up, then he stays the night. He has never made an effort to take me out on a date or buy me something nice as an appreciation even though I drive so far to get him, cook for him, let him stay at my place when his AC wasnt working, sometimes I have to drag my baby with me all hours of night to see him. He is very affecionate but seems so awkward in bed. He seems to have an orgasm very early and never says anything. I never know when he cums and he has turned me down for sex on two occasions, I felt like ****. He was homeless for like a year at one point in his life and is currently going through a divorce and child support issues, so he has his share of problems in life. He has the potiential of being a awesome guy but I dont know if I can really deal with this baggage especially since I am trying to get myself together emotionally. Should I let this one go ?
Jules Dash Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 It sounds like you actually have 2 kids.
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Please excuse any misspelled words and grammar issues I am in a hurry. Hello, I am a 30 year old single mom to a 2 year old. I have a decent job as I work in healthcare, my own car, and home, so I pretty much have that part of my life setup; however, I battled with depression and anxiety for most of my life due to my weight. I had the gastric bypass surgery earlier this year and have lost a total of 91 pounds so according to others I look amazing but I still dont see it. I tend to put myself in bad relationship almost like I am trying to self distruct. I always feel like I need to be in a relationship so I jump from one relationship to the other. I moved to a new town where I know no one for work. I started dating from online dating sites where I met this guy. He was so charming, funny, and affecionate. We talked everyday at least 2-3 times a day, facetime each other. We spend alot of time together and he gets along with my son. We finally decided to make it offecial and be boyfriend and girlfriends. BUT...... He seems strange in some areas, for one, he doesnt drive, he doesnt even have a drivers license, when I ask him about it he says its a long story. He spends most of his time playing video games. He goes to work, come home (Takes the bus) and sits in front of the TV playing video games all night until his eyes hurts, he doesnt even fix himself something to eat (even though he is a professional chef) he just microwave some hot pockets or make a sandwich and right back to the video game. On his day off he plays video games from 9am-pass midnight. Whenever we hang out, I have to drive almost a hour to pick him up, then he stays the night. He has never made an effort to take me out on a date or buy me something nice as an appreciation even though I drive so far to get him, cook for him, let him stay at my place when his AC wasnt working, sometimes I have to drag my baby with me all hours of night to see him. He is very affecionate but seems so awkward in bed. He seems to have an orgasm very early and never says anything. I never know when he cums and he has turned me down for sex on two occasions, I felt like ****. He was homeless for like a year at one point in his life and is currently going through a divorce and child support issues, so he has his share of problems in life. He has the potiential of being a awesome guy but I dont know if I can really deal with this baggage especially since I am trying to get myself together emotionally. Should I let this one go ? Your first (bolded) section, answers your final question. 1
mrldii Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 In addition to what Tara pointed out, IF you feel like you have grown and learned and no longer will settle for bad relationships, you should tell him how you feel, what you expect from him and within the relationship, and then stand by it. He'll either step up and do those things or he won't; if he doesn't, it's either because he doesn't want to or he can't. Either way, you will then know the correct answer to your question and will never have to wonder if you let a potentially good one go. Best of luck to you...
Guyouthere Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Try dating someone who wrestles sharks. lol
Art_Critic Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 oh Kayla.. you need to leave this guy alone, going thru a divorce, gaming addiction and not treating you and your child appropriately all spells trouble for you. Don't give him any more of your time and you will find someone else that will be a positive role in your life.
Ami1uwant Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 The issue of not having a drivers license.......in larger cities like New York or San Francisco you can find people should never got a license because they didn't need one. There could be a few other reasons. ---(1). It suspended or revoked, (2) he can't get one due to disability (seizure disorder). Or (3) just never had a reason to get it. With the video games.....how is he when with you? Does he still play? Some people just do things because they are alone but they may not do that if with someone. If he is a chef at work, many don't want yo bring work home. This is no different.
J21 Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 All these issues so early is a sign it's not going to work. Cut your losses, seems like he has issues he needs to work out for himself. I think he might be depressed--no effort to do anything, just straight video games with any free time he gets; almost like he wants to escape from reality....
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Stick it out with him. Dumping him would be cruel. Snappy Pappy is the member who gives totally illogical opposite advice, when he really means the total reverse. Thanks, SP: that makes total sense!!
Jules Dash Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 If he is a chef at work, many don't want yo bring work home. This is no different. Well, not exactly. Chefs look at themselves as artists. They love what they do. That is like saying a rockstar doesn't want to play their guitar at home because it is work. Chefs usually really love to cook and see everyone enjoy their food. 1
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