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When feelings conflict with the facts?


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Posted

Has anybody else experienced this............. you have feelings so strong that they become beliefs - and you believe what you feel is real - but the facts do not match what you feel.

 

For example - when you meet someone - you 'feel' that they are a good/bad person and based on your feeling - you form a belief. As time passes you the person in question exhibits behaviors that do not match your belief of that person. Cognitive dissonance occurs....

 

I am curious if this is something that happens to many people or if it is quite rare?

Posted

I recommend you read some of Natalie Lues books.

 

She has a blog as well.

 

You will find it useful.

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Posted

Thanks for the tip - I am going to have a look at the blog now.....:)

Posted (edited)
Has anybody else experienced this............. you have feelings so strong that they become beliefs - and you believe what you feel is real - but the facts do not match what you feel.

 

For example - when you meet someone - you 'feel' that they are a good/bad person and based on your feeling - you form a belief. As time passes you the person in question exhibits behaviors that do not match your belief of that person. Cognitive dissonance occurs....

 

I am curious if this is something that happens to many people or if it is quite rare?

I am curious if this is something that happens to many people or if it is quite rare? -- This phenomenon is quite common.

 

What you are talking about is a split between the heart and the mind. It's what allows people to enter into or stay in bad relationships or to walk away from good or potentially good relationships.

Edited by Redhead14
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Posted (edited)

I am curious if this is something that happens to many people or if it is quite rare? -- This phenomenon is quite common.

 

What you are talking about is a split between the heart and the mind. It's what allows people to enter into or stay in bad relationships or to walk away from good or potentially good relationships.

 

Excellent way to put it..... of course it is a split between the heart and the head. You have no idea how effective that is for me. I think I can finally move on from my recent confusion. If I'd thought about it like that from the start - I would find it much easier to move on.

 

There is a similar description in Zen Buddhism - it is about controlling an elephant. The elephant is your emotions and the man on the elephant (the mind) must control the elephant - otherwise there will be chaos!

 

Why I have let my emotions out of control lately I don't know..... I got a bit lost I suppose. I really appreciate what you have said - even though it is so simple. It is what I needed to be reminded of.

 

:D I am curious to see if I can keep this in mind from now on and take control again. Thank you.

Edited by siriusp
Posted (edited)
Excellent way to put it..... of course it is a split between the heart and the head. You have no idea how effective that is for me. I think I can finally move on from my recent confusion. If I'd thought about it like that from the start - I would find it much easier to move on.

 

There is a similar description in Zen Buddhism - it is about controlling an elephant. The elephant is your emotions and the man on the elephant (the mind) must control the elephant - otherwise there will be chaos!

 

Why I have let my emotions out of control lately I don't know..... I got a bit lost I suppose. I really appreciate what you have said - even though it is so simple. It is what I needed to be reminded of.

 

:D I am curious to see if I can keep this in mind from now on and take control again. Thank you.

 

Yep, seeing it in simpler terms usually clears things up :) That being said, it is only when those two things are in synch, that a person can trust their "gut". Having a "gut" that you can trust is the result of those two things being in synch.

 

A person who is emotionally driven is going to have a hard time embracing and understanding an existential explanation for this kind of thing :) It is a "higher" level of thinking about things. If you're being too emotional, you can't think clearly . . .

Edited by Redhead14
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