Teknoe Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 I'm usually very nice. In fact, most people have described me and will describe me as "super nice." But there are times when I can say stupid things, often meant as a sarcastic joke, that cuts the girl I'm friends with, and she'll lash out on me. At any rate, whether I'm nice or acting like an as*hole, I can't seem to win one over to girlfriend status. Is it more or less looks/personality than whether one is "nice" or "dickish" ? I've been both nice and dickish, and it's gotten me nowhere. When I'm nice they say I'm too nice. When I'm acting like a jerk, they say I need to be more nice and considerate (when I really am 90% of the time). Honestly feel a little confused here. Anyone got anything they'd like to add 2 cents to?
Els Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Being genuinely and reasonably nice (not doormat-like or pretending to be nice) is a good thing but it isn't nearly enough all by itself. Nobody, man or woman, falls for someone solely due to how 'nice' that person is. There have to be other elements of attraction too. Obviously being a jerk or pretending to be a jerk does nobody any favours.
Nikki Sahagin Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 'Nice' is a passive doormat. 'Mean' is disrespectful. Besides, you sound insincere so like you are changing your personality, as you say to 'win.' Why not just be yourself? Be balanced. Be kind, respectful and sweet but also assertive, initiate and have your boundaries. This is what most well-adjusted women respond to.
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