Emotional LDRs

[C2M]

Hi,

 

I am in a relationship that whilst we are not physically a long distance apart we are in an emotional LDR. I am 41 with 2 children and 8 months ago started a relationship with a woman who also has 2 children. We have known each other for 17 years but all of a sudden we fell in love. For 3 months it was brilliant but since new year my partner has become emotional divorced from me. She explains the problem as not wanting to betray her children again (like their father) and she will not see me whilst she has custody of the children. They get upset when I was in the house and basically became very jealous of our relationship. My partner has withdrawn so much now that we only see each other 1 or 2 times a month. She is so worried about the kids reactions now that even when I ring she is very short and gets off the phone as quick as possible.

 

I was hoping that somebody else out there had experienced this and could give me some tips on handling this and even better some strategies on slowly changing the situation so she will be prepared to challenge her children and their selfish attitude towards their mother.

 

cheers

 

C2M

[Pocky]

I don't have children and I'm not divorced, but have you asked her think of ideas that you two could do together with the children that would make them feel more comfortable around you? What about plan trips together so that time spent with you can be seen as a positive experience and they can begin to relate to you in a more positive way?

 

However, the real issue is whether or not she wants you and the children to get along and share her life. If she feels it's more important for her to put her children's needs first, regardless of whether or not they are being fair and understanding, then the relationship with should probably end. It's time she makes a decision - incorporate you into their lives or end the relationship with her.

 

Or you could just continue with things as they are. Not sure exactly how forceful you will be with the issue.