Guyouthere Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 Any ideas why a girl won't return the ring I had given her? It was an engagement ring, not terribly valuable, but since she claims we aren't going to be together, and is currently acting like she believes that, and says she would return it, she has not done it so far. I don't believe she has pawned it, and still does have it in her possession. There is also the question of other items as well.
menyou Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 The ring is being used as leverage. But I'm not sure by whom. You or her. 2
Gaeta Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 What other things? Once it's given, it's given. If the ring was an official engagement ring that's different, she should return it.
scooby-philly Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 Yeah...learned the hard way twice....even for those of us who give things or bring things over their place....don't. You have to fight the urge to be super nice until you know it for sure. From a legal perspective, courts have ruled that engagement rings have to be returned. I let me ex keep it to help defray the cost of wedding as we were a week out
Ami1uwant Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 What other things? Once it's given, it's given. If the ring was an official engagement ring that's different, she should return it. In the United States an engagement ting is the property of the one who gave it in the proposal unless it was given on a birthday, Christmas, valentines day, or an anniversary like of the first date then it's confide red a gift and foes not gave to be returned. If it wasn't given as a gift he can due her for the value of the ring and win.
Gaeta Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 In the United States an engagement ting is the property of the one who gave it in the proposal unless it was given on a birthday, Christmas, valentines day, or an anniversary like of the first date then it's confide red a gift and foes not gave to be returned. If it wasn't given as a gift he can due her for the value of the ring and win. That's why I said if the ring is an engagement ring she should return it.
preraph Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Write her a letter that is notarized and signed and certified saying to please return it. If that doesn't work, take her to small claims court.
Author Guyouthere Posted September 26, 2015 Author Posted September 26, 2015 (edited) The ring is being used as leverage. But I'm not sure by whom. You or her. Leverage for what? She told me its over. You think she is just holding it to "keep me around", or "in the picture/on the side, for "just in case"? I don't care about the value of the ring or "how to get it back",,, I just want some insight of why she might want to keep it if she says we are done?? There is also the question of money she "borrowed" from me, that I gave her for her basic needs. She has offered to sell her own jewelry to "pay me back", but has not done so, but "assures me she will". So far nothing. I thbk the ladies here can offer a better insight into the "why", with the "woman psychology". Edited September 26, 2015 by Guyouthere
Gaeta Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 She just wants to keep it because she is greedy and it has dollar value. I don't understand you want your money back. You were engaged to be married, she needed money for her basic needs, you should have given her the money. She was suppose to be your everything but you could not put food on her table for free to help her?
Author Guyouthere Posted September 26, 2015 Author Posted September 26, 2015 She just wants to keep it because she is greedy and it has dollar value. I don't understand you want your money back. You were engaged to be married, she needed money for her basic needs, you should have given her the money. She was suppose to be your everything but you could not put food on her table for free to help her? I think I just wrote this off some,, I should have been more accurate. Some of that money was used for **** like piercings, and the worst part, she used some of it to go to a resort where she met a guy that she hid from me until I found her on her profile, which she quickly removed when she saw me online, but it was too late. So yes, I expect it back. The ring,,,,, if we aren't getting married, it belongs out of her hands. I'm just thinking she might want it because she is still rethinking the entire issue and still wants to use it as "leverage", or in case she "decides she really wants me" some day. I'm just wondering if women do that?
Gaeta Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 I think I just wrote this off some,, I should have been more accurate. Some of that money was used for **** like piercings, and the worst part, she used some of it to go to a resort where she met a guy that she hid from me until I found her on her profile, which she quickly removed when she saw me online, but it was too late. So yes, I expect it back. The ring,,,,, if we aren't getting married, it belongs out of her hands. I'm just thinking she might want it because she is still rethinking the entire issue and still wants to use it as "leverage", or in case she "decides she really wants me" some day. I'm just wondering if women do that? Some basic needs eh............... Yes some women would but why are you interested in what she wants? You're not gonna take her back anyway, right? If you do take her back than you are the final proof that men do actually prefer crazies. 1
joseb Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Any ideas why a girl won't return the ring I had given her? It was an engagement ring, not terribly valuable, but since she claims we aren't going to be together, and is currently acting like she believes that, and says she would return it, she has not done it so far. I don't believe she has pawned it, and still does have it in her possession. There is also the question of other items as well. Did you ask her to marry you? Or did you just give her a ring?
Author Guyouthere Posted September 26, 2015 Author Posted September 26, 2015 Did you ask her to marry you? Or did you just give her a ring? asked her to marry, and said she wasn't ready
Author Guyouthere Posted September 26, 2015 Author Posted September 26, 2015 Some basic needs eh............... Yes some women would but why are you interested in what she wants? You're not gonna take her back anyway, right? If you do take her back than you are the final proof that men do actually prefer crazies. Id take a normal one if they existed, Evidently they don't. lol 1
joseb Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 asked her to marry, and said she wasn't ready OK, normally what happens in this situation is that you keep the ring/return it to the shop... 1
Author Guyouthere Posted September 26, 2015 Author Posted September 26, 2015 Im feeling inside that she is keeping it to reanalyze the entire situation and is still hoping for a future with me. And if she were to send it back, it is a strong message that she is "really done", and maybe she isn't sure she wants that.
Popsicle Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Are you still "friends" or still talking? Because she might not think you really mean it, if so. You should be clear and say "I would like the ring returned on this day, at this time, to this place". Then if she fails to do so, then take her to court. You will win.
Author Guyouthere Posted September 26, 2015 Author Posted September 26, 2015 Are you still "friends" or still talking? Because she might not think you really mean it, if so. You should be clear and say "I would like the ring returned on this day, at this time, to this place". Then if she fails to do so, then take her to court. You will win. We are currently not talking. I won't take her to court over this. This isn't about money, or even the ring. Im trying to get a feel as to what she is thinking (which is always impossible for a guy). I do sense things, and I sense that perhaps she still wants to hold on to an US, but for later.
Popsicle Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 We are currently not talking. I won't take her to court over this. This isn't about money, or even the ring. Im trying to get a feel as to what she is thinking (which is always impossible for a guy). I do sense things, and I sense that perhaps she still wants to hold on to an US, but for later. Some men are sitting ducks for bad girls. You look like one.
CarrieT Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Learn the mantra, "It is just stuff." Write it off as a lesson learned.
Author Guyouthere Posted September 26, 2015 Author Posted September 26, 2015 Some men are sitting ducks for bad girls. You look like one. elaborate,,,
Author Guyouthere Posted September 26, 2015 Author Posted September 26, 2015 Learn the mantra, "It is just stuff." Write it off as a lesson learned. Well,,,,,,, Maybe,,,,, and maybe not. The relationship is/was complicated. Maybe it is just stuff to her,,, but maybe not. Thats why I asked women's opinion… if they would keep it for the "what if later".
Versacehottie Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Leverage for what? She told me its over. You think she is just holding it to "keep me around", or "in the picture/on the side, for "just in case"? I don't care about the value of the ring or "how to get it back",,, I just want some insight of why she might want to keep it if she says we are done?? There is also the question of money she "borrowed" from me, that I gave her for her basic needs. She has offered to sell her own jewelry to "pay me back", but has not done so, but "assures me she will". So far nothing. I thbk the ladies here can offer a better insight into the "why", with the "woman psychology". hmmmm, let's see if i were in your ex's shoes, which I don't think I would keep the ring if I were in state of mind to do the "right" thing. Otherwise there are two reasons I would hang onto it: 1. Absolutely as leverage. Could be from a negative point of view. Knowing it bothers you and it's the last thing that ties us together and if you were bugging me to get it back, I might rebel on you by not jumping to that. Or truth is YOU could be using it as leverage in order to see me or hurt me in demanding it back (although legally and morally, eventually--it's your right to have it back), and I could intending to give it back just not ready to see you or interact with you. 2. This is probably the most likely reason (for me) of why I wouldn't give it back right away: once i did, it would feel like the decision's final and that it really is over. Like over, over. So sentimentally I might hang onto as long as I can until the decision was clear in my head---not matter what words I say to you (ie this is over, we're done), it doesn't mean that's exactly what's in my heart. Just my guesses
SandraTempleton Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 I was always under the impression that who ever broke off the engagement would allow the other person to keep the ring. So if the guy ended it, he would allow the girl to keep the ring. And if the girl ended it, she would return the ring to the guy. Not sure what you would do with the ring after that though. Myself, I would probably try to resell it. No use keeping a bad omen around. As for the money you lent her, I wouldn't expect to see it again. From what you have said it doesn't sounds like she ever really needed it in the first place. Did she want it to pay for non necessities? Sounds like it.
Popsicle Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 elaborate,,, Some woman rejected you, and won't even give the ring bank, is seeing other guys, and took money from you, but you still want her. If she is a user, you would be the perfect guy to do that to.
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