daterhater Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 I have a male friend who I've known for 4 years. He's been in a serious relationship with a girl since he was in high school.... so probably 7 or 8 years total. He's not happy with her. He loves her and cares about her, but she doesn't make him happy. She's a jealous, depressed bitch who is horrible to him and makes him feel guilty for everything he does. He has to hide his true self around her because she is not accepting of the person he wants to be. There was no denying our initial attraction to eachother...mentally. We hit it off immediately and continued to talk online (since we felt hanging out in person would be cheating). Recently he's talked of breaking up with his girlfriend. He told me he thinks he's in love with me. One night we hung out and I got a bit too drunk. I was really forward with him. I practically mounted him against a wall in public and was about to kiss him, but stopped myself, instead giving him a joke punch in the gut and hugging him goodbye. So last week FINALLY he told his girlfriend they needed time apart. This destroyed her. She vomited, cried, and begged for him not to do it. But a week later, and me and him STILL AREN'T TOGETHER because he's still with her...sorta. It's driving me nuts. He tells me not to count on him, but then tells me how he loves me and i'm his best friend and he keeps having fantasies about hooking up with me. Anyway. There's another guy I've been hanging out with. I don't love him like I love this guy, but he likes me. When I told the guy with a girlfriend about this new guy, he got really sad and said, "Well, I guess you should date. It's not right for me to get jealous. If I dump her and I'm alone and you're with John, I guess that's just the way it'll have to be." then he started crying and we ended our conversation. so my question.... this girl he's dated for 8 years.... he finally tells her they need to breakup a week ago.... should i wait around until it's officially over? i do love him and i know he loves me. but i don't know if it'll happen for sure and it pisses me off i have to wait this long for him. my other option is to date the new guy and have a sexual relationship with him EVEN though feelings of love aren't there. part of me wants to make him jealous and show him i won't wait around forever, hoping it'll cause him to spring to action. but the other part of me knows this is stupid and feels like i should just let him be. i don't know what to do. pleae help!
Merin Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 He has a Long Term GF.. it really doesn't matter if you think she's a Bitch the only thing you really know about thier relationship is What he tells you. IF this Girl was as bad as all that believe me when I say he would end it with her, it wouldn't matter if she cried and vomitted. He isn't willing to break up with her regardless of what he says, it's what he does that matters and he's still with her. I would suggest leaving this Guy alone and finding someone who's available.. if you like this other Guy then good to go date him, BUT don't date him because you're trying to make the other Guy jealous.. date him because you like him and you want to.. anything less would be unfair to the second Guy and I'm sure you wouldn't want to lead someone on right?
Illusion24 Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 He isn't willing to break up with her regardless of what he says, it's what he does that matters and he's still with her. YUP!!!
ReluctantRomeo Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 Originally posted by daterhater He tells me not to count on him Believe him.
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 Originally posted by Merin He has a Long Term GF.. it really doesn't matter if you think she's a Bitch the only thing you really know about their relationship is What he tells you. IF this Girl was as bad as all that believe me when I say he would end it with her, it wouldn't matter if she cried and vomitted. Merin's right. If it was all that bad then he would not be with her for so long. Plus your going by what he tells you. I don't mess with guys with LTR. You could be break up soul mates. I'm sure there are other guys out there not in LTR that you will bond with just as much. Plus since your saving yourself, the moment will be much more enjoyable knowing that you didn't get the guy by steeling.
Arianahatz Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 I hate men who lie and have a girlfriend.. and mess around, besides if he was your b/f don't you think he'll be doing the dirty on you as well ?!
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