monkeymama Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 (edited) That should say "Help me Understand" So...I started out all happy, in the LDR section. We met on a common interest site (not a dating site), about 3 months ago. We're both what I thought to be mature adults (30s/40s). We talked every single day, several times a day, through text, phone, and Skype. He texted me as soon as he woke up! He's overseas and coming back to the states. Our meeting date was set for a couple of weeks from now. I seriously thought he was the sweetest, genuine, caring, and giving man. He sent a couple of very thoughtful gifts (not jewelry or other materialistic type gifts but necessary items that I had talked about purchasing, for myself. I was growing more and more excited (but impatient) to wrap my arms around him. He said the same things. He seemed almost as emotional about it. Then BAM! Nothing! I have not heard from him, in 4 1/2 days! Initially, I messaged and called...no response. I've said what I need to say. I asked him to explain. Even if it's another woman. I will at least have an answer. I can tell when he's online, so I know that he's alive. If he wants to get rid of me completely, why wouldn't he block me on Skype? It doesn't make sense. I have every emotion running through my body. I can understand if we were kind of sporadically communicating, without a full connection with each other. That was not the case. Please help me. I feel like I'm dying inside. Edited September 25, 2015 by monkeymama
StalwartMind Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 There can be a million reasons as to why he changed like that. I'm sure your mind has already wondered about the most likely possibilities. I think this is perhaps the most terrifying thing with any relation-/friendship, some people will just not have the decency to let others know, if they should suddenly change their mind. If you notice him online, which you typically will with Skype unless he blocked you, which he hasn't, then there's clearly something going on that makes him choose to ignore you. I wish it was an uncommon thing, but from what I've heard from friends and seen myself too, a lot of people have no issues with dropping contact for whatever reason. If you've left him messages about trying to explain what's going on, and if he is already (which we'll assume he is), then there's not really much you can do except waiting for him to contact you. Do understand that it's not you who there is something wrong with, it's him, communication is vital and when you are not close, if that breaks down then you are left at the mercy of the other individual, it doesn't matter if you are in a LDR or a married couple where one is oversea. We all have different preferences when it comes to communication, it's actually fairly good to establish rules/emergency plans just in case something happens. Unless there is something specific you didn't mention that could of caused him to react like this, such as him struggling with personal issues or whatever, then there's not really much you can do. Sometimes people you connect really great with just aren't everything they claim to be. I can imagine well how this torments you, because without a doubt in the past 3 months he has managed to capture your heart. There are no guarantees when it comes to other people, everything is based on trust. I wish there were more positive things to say, but for the time being you more than likely have to brace yourself with patience in hope he'll actually explain his actions.
Author monkeymama Posted September 26, 2015 Author Posted September 26, 2015 (edited) Thank you so much for the genuine response. I appreciate it. I'm just trying to get through each day, as hard as it is not to think about him. The only question that has run through my mind is this: The last day that we spoke, Skype's server was down. We spoke on the phone a couple of times. He said something, at the end of one conversation that I did not understand. The conversations are sometimes muffled and cut out. I thought "did he say, I love You?" No. I wasn't sure. But even if he did, and I didn't hear it, is that a reason to cut off communication all together? We spoke one time after that and he said that he was going to bed because it had been a very long day. It was only 6:40pm (for him). About 12 hours later, I already started to worry, feeling like something wasn't right. I guess my intuition was correct. Here's one more aha! thought: he has mentioned that he has dealt with depression and anxiety. I just don't know...He's quite a bit younger than I am and he's a very good looking guy. My mind goes straight to him being with another woman. As for Skype, I cannot even look any longer, because it drives me nuts anytime that I see him online. That's another question??? If he wants to cut me out of his life, why hasn't he blocked me? My last message, I explained that I'm not one to push but that I would like an explanation. That's all I can do. Now, I have to move along with life. I've never been more thankful to be busy with work. It's stressful, but it beats thinking about him. If he comes back and tells me what is going on...Great! If not, It will be a long time before I trust again. Thank you again! Edited September 26, 2015 by monkeymama added details
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