thegirlinquestion Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 I realize this will put off women as its assumed that women choose when to have sex. but were on date 2, tomorrow, date 3 and she got her sister to watch her two kids and we spoke of what to do and she says "how about we go to your place" I said my house is messy and I need to clean it and I dont feel comfortable yet. she said I dont mind but ok, we can do something else. shes attractive but I just dont feel like having sex at this time. morning date 2 we went for breakfast, to the beach and then to a park. no one there. we were dry humping and what not on the grass, she asked if I wanted to come over to her house which was 3 minutes away. I declined. im not gay, bi or bi curious but I dont feel like having sex with her yet. I know it will be brutal when shell want to mess around tomorrow. probably in the car and Ill have to turn her down. what do I say? a guy who doesnt want free sex. well on OLD there were tons of offers from heavy set women and the cosmetically challenged. I feel uncomfortable saying no, not yet. because of course a man is not a man if he doesnt want to screw when shes wet and ready. its not that I cant or dont want to but it isnt relevant. I simply want to wait a bit longer. I have my reason why but I will not disclose. not power control or games or anything like that. I simply want to wait a bit more. how to go about it? 1
EricaH329 Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 Honesty! Tell her you'd like to wait a bit before having sex. If she cares about you, she'll understand and accept it. Good for you for wanting to wait! Whatever your reason is, you should *not* feel bad about it! It is not up to one person, or the other. It's up to BOTH parties when sex should happen. 8
ThugLifing Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 Ask her what she's looking for. Maybe she's just looking for hook ups. Just tell her you don't want to rush anything and aren't ready to have sex with her yet. No shame in that. All the women I've dated who gave it up or wanted to "too early" ended up being pretty unstable or just didn't want a relationship anyway. 3
guest569 Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 I agree with just telling her that you want to wait and get to know each other. If she doesn't like it then maybe she only wanted sex. But come on, you are dry humping what so you expect lol. Maybe hold off on that stuff 3
joseb Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 If you don't want to have sex then why are you dry humping on the grass? 3
Gloria25 Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Ask her what she's looking for. Maybe she's just looking for hook ups. Just tell her you don't want to rush anything and aren't ready to have sex with her yet. No shame in that. All the women I've dated who gave it up or wanted to "too early" ended up being pretty unstable or just didn't want a relationship anyway. Or she's trying to hook and manipulate you with the easy/early sex...I mean you did mention she has two kids. Probably, desperately searching for a replacement daddy. 1
Ami1uwant Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 I don't believe in having sex on date 1 or 2. I want to established the relationship before having sex. 1
Karimikui Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Your descriptions of her here and the language you use when describing her are not positive or loving. Are you sure you're into her? 2
guest569 Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Or she's trying to hook and manipulate you with the easy/early sex...I mean you did mention she has two kids. Probably, desperately searching for a replacement daddy. Wow Gloria. Bravo 1
Lois_Griffin Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Ugh. She sounds like an alley cat in heat. Not very attractive, constantly throwing herself at you. When it does come time, I'd be sure to use extra protection if I were you. You cant be naïve enough to assume it's only you she acts this way with.
Redhead14 Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 I realize this will put off women as its assumed that women choose when to have sex. but were on date 2, tomorrow, date 3 and she got her sister to watch her two kids and we spoke of what to do and she says "how about we go to your place" I said my house is messy and I need to clean it and I dont feel comfortable yet. she said I dont mind but ok, we can do something else. shes attractive but I just dont feel like having sex at this time. morning date 2 we went for breakfast, to the beach and then to a park. no one there. we were dry humping and what not on the grass, she asked if I wanted to come over to her house which was 3 minutes away. I declined. im not gay, bi or bi curious but I dont feel like having sex with her yet. I know it will be brutal when shell want to mess around tomorrow. probably in the car and Ill have to turn her down. what do I say? a guy who doesnt want free sex. well on OLD there were tons of offers from heavy set women and the cosmetically challenged. I feel uncomfortable saying no, not yet. because of course a man is not a man if he doesnt want to screw when shes wet and ready. its not that I cant or dont want to but it isnt relevant. I simply want to wait a bit longer. I have my reason why but I will not disclose. not power control or games or anything like that. I simply want to wait a bit more. how to go about it? a man is not a man if he doesnt want to screw -- That is a gross mis/overstatement. A man is a man when he is honest with himself and his date. You tell her that the attraction on that level is mutual, but, you'd like to wait for a while. You are enjoying spending time with her and want to feel close to her when you do become intimate. If she is put off or offended and thinks you are not a man, it is because she is not a secure woman. If she places so much importance on whether a man has sex with her, it is likely that her esteem is at least weak and finds that having sex with men is a source of validation.
guest569 Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Ugh. She sounds like an alley cat in heat. Not very attractive, constantly throwing herself at you. When it does come time, I'd be sure to use extra protection if I were you. You cant be naïve enough to assume it's only you she acts this way with. Really? They're out dry humping in the grass and she invites him back to hers. Seems logical to me.
henderson14 Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 I've never heard of a man turning down sex. Never. I've actually had sex when I didn't feel like it just because I couldn't turn down the opportunity and wanted to brag about adding another notch to my belt. One reason I wanted to turn it down was because I didn't feel,like having her stay over and dealing with her wanting to date me.
Winterina Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 LS is NOT a forum where you can get best speculation award, so the wild guesses on the lives of people you know nothing about are not bringing you any points, they are not helpful to the OP and they tell a story about you more than a person you are trying to comment. What is wrong with some of you? Just because a woman has kids and wants to have sex with a guy she is dating, does not mean she wants a replacement daddy and does not mean she wants to manipulate anyone. Perhaps she just wants sex from OP and is being unambiguous about it!!! Would you say the same nasty thing for the guy who has kids? That he is seeking mummy for kids? What is wrong with a woman wanting to have a sex with a guy whom she likes enough to have sex with? Guys do that all the time, try and try... Not at all morally wrong. Not wrong in any way between two single people. Can't blame anyone for trying. Can't blame her for not needing a particular emotional connection to have sex with someone. Does not seem like she is over the top pushy. She is apparently different than the OP and wants to get it on. OP dude, man up and tell her what's in your head rather than writing on the LS about it. Tell her about what you feel and it might even make her feel a bit special that you would think about more with her than just humping. 3
guest569 Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 LS is NOT a forum where you can get best speculation award, so the wild guesses on the lives of people you know nothing about are not bringing you any points, they are not helpful to the OP and they tell a story about you more than a person you are trying to comment. What is wrong with some of you? Just because a woman has kids and wants to have sex with a guy she is dating, does not mean she wants a replacement daddy and does not mean she wants to manipulate anyone. Perhaps she just wants sex from OP and is being unambiguous about it!!! Would you say the same nasty thing for the guy who has kids? That he is seeking mummy for kids? What is wrong with a woman wanting to have a sex with a guy whom she likes enough to have sex with? Guys do that all the time, try and try... Not at all morally wrong. Not wrong in any way between two single people. Can't blame anyone for trying. Can't blame her for not needing a particular emotional connection to have sex with someone. Does not seem like she is over the top pushy. She is apparently different than the OP and wants to get it on. OP dude, man up and tell her what's in your head rather than writing on the LS about it. Tell her about what you feel and it might even make her feel a bit special that you would think about more with her than just humping. My "bravo" was a sarcastic one btw, i dont support that bizarre speculation.
juicygirl Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 There's nothing wrong with a guy not wanting sex too soon, but you need to stop leading her on. It's not really fair to be humping her or getting so close to her that she's readying to go just to turn her down. How would you feel if things were the other way around. You better be careful she doesn't dump you for playing games. Be honest with her and tell her you're not ready for sex. 1
kilgore Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 Honesty! Tell her you'd like to wait a bit before having sex. If she cares about you, she'll understand and accept it. Good for you for wanting to wait! Whatever your reason is, you should *not* feel bad about it! It is not up to one person, or the other. It's up to BOTH parties when sex should happen. Agree. Though if you decide to wait it is just one person's decision - the person who wants to wait. Which is as it should be. 1
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