buck3200 Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 I grew up with this girl. She lived across the street. As small kids I remember throwing rocks at her. She is 2 1/3 years older. We had been friendly as teenagers but because of the age difference we didn't spend alot of time together. Then in'77 my mother asked her if I could ride to school with her. That's when it started. She is latina and the oldest. Her mother had a short leash on her. But I was the boy across the street and her brother's friend, so it was ok for me to be inside the house. We were together most of the time. By Christmas time I was in love. But she was really out of my league. I was scared to death to say how I felt. She's been 18 now for several months and is able to go out more now. We are at a party and are drinking. We end up outside alone and she kisses me. She's been in love and scared to say so too.It's not long before we are engaged and planning to spend our lives together. And pregnant. She's scared to death of her father but I'm ready to marry. After much discussion we decide it's best not to have a baby right NOW. We are found out and her mom sends her to Stockton to stay with family. We plan for me to go get her but takes awhile to save money. So after a month I have enough.We take have a great little vacation then come home. Now everyone is accepting that we are together and it's like we are married almost, either I'm in her bed or she's in mine. We are SO close...we can talk about anything with each other. I tell her about one of her friends coming on to me while she was gone. We talk it out and decide since I'm only 16 I should sow some oats before we actually marry. JUST DON'T DO IT IN HER FACE. I get a little carried away with that, but we are still in love as ever. She starts wanting a baby, so I tell her you get pregnant we will settle down, and meant it 1000%. Naturally not long before she's pregnant. I tell all my buddies we're gonna finally get married. Now all our friends and family KNEW we would be together forever, we were that kind of couple. So these guys are like we have to have one last big PARTY. They kidnap me for a weekend. We come back and she is irate. Says I promised her all this time that once I said we would settle down that would be it and that if I didn't marry her RIGHT away she was giving up the baby and that was it between us. I told her how sorry I was and of course and started making plans to go to Vegas. Two days later she says you had your chance, it's over....I begged and pleaded for months, even after the abortion. She started going out with a guy I introduced her to and used to tease her that she should be with him because he'd do whatever she told him. Finally I gave up. I was totally heartbroken. 9 years go by, I have a daughter with someone who I'm not happy with. I'm at her brother's for a BBQ and she shows up. She's been with the same guy, has three kids. We talk and she says she is very unhappy and she made a terrible mistake. I tell her I never stopped loving her. We start hanging out and it's like it always was between us. But my kids mom finds out and confronts her husband about it. She is very angry with me, she didn't want this to happen this way and we stop talking. I am totally heartbroken again. 3 years go bye and we run into each other.She is single now. I'm with a date and this is really the first time she has seen me with someone else. I can tell it bothers her. Not long and we are making sure we run into each other, but it's as if we are scared to admit to each other how we feel,scared of what we could do to each other. Once at a party we're drunk enough to hook up, she evens says "I do still love you". Says it as if she didn't even want to admit it to herself. But in the sober light of day it was back to being scared, like when we were kids and scared to tell each other I love you. This went on for years, putting ourselves in situations to say it and then not. A group of us went to an oldies concert once, and she started crying like a baby. I was too dumb to realize she was saying then. Not too long after that, I had be hanging out with a mutual friend. We were all together and I gave her my pager# saying to page me and we would pick her up to party with us. About a week latter she did, but when we showed up to get her,she got angry and said why did you bring him.... She had been dating a guy who was quite well off and about a year after that she decided to marry him. I guess she just gave up looking back now. It's been 15 years since then. I've been in several relationships, even thought I was in love for a minute twice. But I think it was only because they did things that reminded me of her. The first one would sing to me like her (she would sing "You belong to me" and "Magnet and Steel" whenever on the radio) and the other kissed me first. I've given up on women now. It's like a verse from a song," the years go bye...there's always someone new...to try and help me forget about you...but time and again it does me no good...love never feels the way that it should" Why inflict on someone else that I can't love them. Now that I'm old enough that it's in the realm of possibilities I could drop dead at any time, I'm torn whether I should say how I feel, not to get her back, but so she knows before it's too late.
mightycpa Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 Did you ever think that if you had been with her that you would have gotten sick of her ****? Looking back, you celebrate with friends, and she's irate. You meet her again, cause a little trouble in her life, and she's irate. After that, she bangs you but doesn't follow up. Later, you pick her up with your third wheel and she's angry about that too. On top of that, she's flirting behind her husband's back and then marrying for money? I don't know. You're in love with an image, not the real person. I'm sure you don't actually love her, you're just infatuated with a memory that has surely been sanitized. You don't even really know her all that well, do you? Here's what you do. You compose a great letter, the greatest love letter of all time. Leave instructions for somebody you trust to send it to her on the occasion of your death
Author buck3200 Posted September 25, 2015 Author Posted September 25, 2015 Well maybe I should I been more specific...I didn't just get a little carried away...I totally took advantage of how much she loved me when we were kids...and did it for two years. She believed in me until I agreed it was time to get married then disappeared for a weekend without telling her. I firmly believe if I had not done that we would have been together all these years.
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