Jules Posted March 25, 2001 Share Posted March 25, 2001 Ok, Jules is in a bind, and she doesn't know what to do. Please help! I'm currently dating this boy whom I've known for about 3 years. 2 of those 3 years, he was dating this girl, we will call her Kelly. Anyway, when they broke up, I was pretty good friends with both of them...and then I hooked up with the boy. This in itself is obviously a problem, but I met Kelly through the boy not the boy through Kelly, and us hooking up was a long time coming. Anyway, my boyfriend is now having a really hard time with me being friends with his ex, becuase he cannot handle being friends with her himself. He thinks that she will turn me against him, and he hates her because she broke his heart (by cheating on him, but that is another story). I think he also wants to 'forget' about her and get her out of his life, and with me being friends with her, this makes it rather difficult for him. I feel as though he wants me to choose, between him and her...is this right? Should I have to choose one or the other? I love him, but she is a friend now...I would do anything for him, but I don't think he should be able to affect who I choose to be friends with, but then again, this is a weird situation... Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 25, 2001 Share Posted March 25, 2001 The best compromise here is to continue your friendship with Kelly but leave your boyfriend out of it and don't discuss him with her or her with him AT ALL. Your friendship should NOT involve him at all. You must at least respect this. Have a talk with him and let him know you fully understand his feelings. Let him know Kelly is your friend and you want to continue that friendship but you will in no way involve him or discuss him during the course of this friendship. It could be that Kelly wants to keep a friendship with you as a means of keeping some contact with him. Who knows? This is an awkward situation but you can't have others telling you who you can have for friends. If your boyfriend insists on you making a decision, I would keep your girlfriend and find a guy who is a bit more mature. I really do understand how he feels but he has to learn to get over things in life. You can't stay stuck in anger and bitterness forever. He has some growing up to do but don't tell him I said so. A lot of people need to grow up. Link to post Share on other sites
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