Relationship needed

[raule]

Hello everyone, i'm new to the website, apologies for my bad english beforehand.

 

first of all thanks for reading, i couldnt really find a friend to tell all these things and wanted to try and see your opinions on this website, well the thing is i'm 22 almost 23 my gf is more or less a couple of years older than me. i think of her as my very first relationship as other ones were more like a 1 or 2 times dates and thats it. we have been dating like 3 years, i must before all that my gf is a wonderful person, a very good one, she cares for me, i think no other have cared for me so much, she actually texts me to see if i had lunch and that other stuff, she text every morning to say good morning so you can have a little idea how she is, we are both university students at the moment, after so much years dating i don't know why but my feelings for her, for our relationship are getting cold("dont know if that is the right expression"), somehow i feel like boored of everything, the things it used to excite me are now gone, dont know if they are going back...

 

Now, to give more context and to get to the point, i have some issues right now with my gf, the first one is about our future she is not very deep in studying so she is far from getting a degree, i am finishing my career soon, so i am making plans for our future, but it has been completely hard since i dont really know after so much years what she wants for her life, is something like eating me day and night, i really want to leave my hometown, its have been my dream since i was a really young, but with her in that condition has proven really complicated to thing in a future leaving this place with her, sometimes i feel she is not mature enough.

 

my parents don't like her much, but i couldnt care less about it, i dont have such a great bound with them. but seems to me that my gf is concerned about it, perhaps this affect somehow.

 

lastly, and this is the point like i dont feel like talking to friends is about our sex life, sex is not everything i know that, but the thing is we are both virgins yet, we have some experience with other stuff(non-penetrative sex, and a lot of games) after trying for a long time, we went to hotel rooms, her room in her house and some other places and well she didnt feel to go for it and i was ok, the most important thing is that both feel comfortable with what we are going to do, so i respect all her decisions, and after all like 6 months ago, she told me she felt ready, that someday it may happen, but i looked for every opportunity and nothing, somehow( you can call me crazy) im not looking anymore, i just dont want to work for it, i have lost all the will to even try, i feel like she doesnt look for that ether, like that act is not important for her, is just a turn down for me right now, perhaps i am not the best lover, but well i tried, i did always try to make the relationship fulfilling for her but i think she dont try as she could, perhaps we dont have a good chemistry in that matter after all.

 

sorry for the long post i did just write everything that was on my head looking for answers, im in a stage that i dont find this relationship satisfying anymore, i dont know if this is just a stage or if i should quit and leave as it is, if you ask me i would give it another shot, but i dont by any means want to make her feel bad, feel miserable or anything.

 

well any advice will be welcome, thanks all for reading and supporting

[d0nnivain]

Your life is approaching a transition point: school is ending & you are looking forward to the next stage, a career. She seems to be spinning her wheels. Especially because she is older then you, she may enjoy being a professional student & she may not be looking forward to the end of school. If you two haven't already talked about the future & plans, it's time to have that conversation. If your visions are different, you may not have a compatible future.

 

 

You probably also need to talk about sex. Is she scared? Is she afraid it will hurt? Would things be different if you were married, meaning is this a religious issue for her?

[Sean Yaho]

I agree with everything "d0nnivain" wrote.

Most people assume compatibility is directly related to common interests like hobbies and music. However it goes much deeper. You need to have simular outlooks on life or at least ones that complement one another. Sex is another high one on the compatibility scale. This means having similar sex drives and how you two perceive sex in general. Sex allows bond forming due to the hormones released, not everyone has the same sexual needs so it's important to find someone that matches that or sacrifice you sex life and come to common grounds with her.

 

Overall, like posted above, talk to her. Be open and best of luck!