seekingluck Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Somewhat inspired by the other thread. Men, when you are "courting" a woman, do you open all the doors and let her go first? Personally I prefer and notice this behavior. Particularly when I see extra effort (like jumping ahead to grab the door or hanging back so I can be first). Love chivalry! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ManyDissapoint Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Would like to, but I'm afraid of women thinking that my actions imply that she's not capable of doing stuff for herself. Ah yes, it's a minefield out there. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Yes, when possible without looking extremely awkward. Since you particularly appreciate the effort, tell me how you think a guy should handle these situations... car is parked such that her door is on the opposite side; double door airlock entrance ways; when his arms are full of her packages/suitcases? Should we go to extreme lengths in pretending that females cannot and should not operate doors, or do practical considerations take precedence? Link to post Share on other sites
sportygirl89 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Most will say yes. But really depends on age. I am mid 20s. Usually late 20s or later do. I won't date anyone who doesn't. Usually says a lot about character. Younger than 25 tend to have the I'm privileged approach to dating. Not all are like this is just my experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Yes, when possible without looking extremely awkward. Since you particularly appreciate the effort, tell me how you think a guy should handle these situations... car is parked such that her door is on the opposite side; double door airlock entrance ways; when his arms are full of her packages/suitcases? Should we go to extreme lengths in pretending that females cannot and should not operate doors, or do practical considerations take precedence? I think the situations you mention are too extreme, and probably not a great idea, at least in this era. I also don't agree with throwing coats down on puddles - someone is going to have to wash that coat! I do appreciate it when we approach a door together and he opens it for me and stands back. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Every time. Except for car doors on the exit, they never seem to wait for it or just don't expect it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I open doors for women, both romantic interests and friends. It's a habit I got into when I was young. I also tend to let women on and off elevators or escalators first. But I can tell you with complete confidence, it means nothing to most women. Most women don't even say a "thank you", a small amount even scoffed at the gesture. Yes, they scoffed. It's wonderful living in a big city. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Yes, and not just when dating - I still do 16 years later. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 a small amount even scoffed at the gesture. Yes, they scoffed. It's wonderful living in a big city. Don't let that get to you - it says a lot more about them than about you. IMO it's a bullet dodged if your date does that early on - you now know who to avoid! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author seekingluck Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 Yes, when possible without looking extremely awkward. Since you particularly appreciate the effort, tell me how you think a guy should handle these situations... car is parked such that her door is on the opposite side; double door airlock entrance ways; when his arms are full of her packages/suitcases? Should we go to extreme lengths in pretending that females cannot and should not operate doors, or do practical considerations take precedence? No need to go to extremes. For me the car door thing is sort of whatever. Like if we are walking up to the car and it makes sense, grab my door. I'll definitely get the door for you if your hands are full. And for double doors, I'll get the second one! I was so weirded out when I went out on a work meeting and the guy rushed over to open the door for me at both ends. That was probably too much. I open doors for women, both romantic interests and friends. It's a habit I got into when I was young. I also tend to let women on and off elevators or escalators first. But I can tell you with complete confidence, it means nothing to most women. Most women don't even say a "thank you", a small amount even scoffed at the gesture. Yes, they scoffed. It's wonderful living in a big city. I say think you almost every time for the door, at the very least you'll get a smile! As for elevators and escalators, I have a slightly lower thank you rate, mostly because I am generally a little pre-occupied in those circumstances, but you'll get a smile or thanks if I notice it is intentional. I love it when random strangers grab the door for me, especially when they are under 25-ish! I'll probably remark about it on Facebook too when it is a young-un. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I do this everyday. Even with people I'm not dating. And guess what I've noticed, a lot more other people do too. And guess what more I've noticed, usually the people that have the door held up open for don't say "thanks". And guess what more I've noticed, at least in my area, more of the people who DO say thanks are men than women. But that's my experience. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Opened doors during and after courting when we were married. Normal behavior to me Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I used to do this in my teens and most of my twenties. I opened car doors and would rush ahead to open other doors. I stopped doing these things around my late twenties. I still open doors (for anyone) if I get to the door first, but I no longer rush ahead. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 It's a nicety that I notice and appreciate but don't miss if don't have it. I have had many men do it and it is a very polite and nice thing for them to do. I like to hold the door for them as well. Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I try to do it to everyone that follows me into a door, Sometimes I forget, but most of the time it's scored, I remember one time, guy was like 75+ feet away, Verbally accosted me for not taking the extra minute(s) out of my day. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Male Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Somewhat inspired by the other thread. Men, when you are "courting" a woman, do you open all the doors and let her go first? Personally I prefer and notice this behavior. Particularly when I see extra effort (like jumping ahead to grab the door or hanging back so I can be first). Love chivalry! When entering a restaurant, I always open the first door, but 99.99% of the time she continues to walk forward and begins to open the second door before I can get there. I will then open it the rest of the way for her, unless it is blatantly obvious that she is standing to the side and holding it open for me. Personally though, I think too many women put too much weight on this. Think of how many men open the door, and turn out to be total trash later on, or how many men dont open the door and end up being the best guy she ever met. Many women seem to absolutely love to nitpick these minor little details though, thinking its a huge sign that determines the guys worth. Link to post Share on other sites
eye of the storm Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Maybe it is my industry (male dominated) but I open doors for other people and expect them to open them for me. To me it is polite. It is just who gets there first. I carry my own gear and expect you to carry yours too. I will say though...on a romantic date....having a guy open doors for you, get the car door for you, and all that mushy stuff is kinda nice. (I am almost embarrassed to admit that.) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author seekingluck Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 When entering a restaurant, I always open the first door, but 99.99% of the time she continues to walk forward and begins to open the second door before I can get there. I will then open it the rest of the way for her, unless it is blatantly obvious that she is standing to the side and holding it open for me. Personally though, I think too many women put too much weight on this. Think of how many men open the door, and turn out to be total trash later on, or how many men dont open the door and end up being the best guy she ever met. Many women seem to absolutely love to nitpick these minor little details though, thinking its a huge sign that determines the guys worth. For me I put it in the "good home training" category. And I like good home training! I will say though...on a romantic date....having a guy open doors for you, get the car door for you, and all that mushy stuff is kinda nice. (I am almost embarrassed to admit that.) I know it is silly, but it makes it feel like a date and not a "normal" thing. It makes the occasion feel more special. And it makes it feel like you are special. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JustGettingBy Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I open doors for people if they're near enough to me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 A great scene from an even greater movie... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyj2VNVB8qk TFY 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Male Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 A great scene from an even greater movie... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyj2VNVB8qk TFY Great movie and great scene...but most women would scoff at such a situation, even though they themselves have a whole list of their own such "tests" that they put a man through. Just another double standard yet again when dealing with many women. Link to post Share on other sites
Jacob_Duluoz Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I do this for just about everybody but those who look like they don't want me to open the door...or if we're rushing into a line ;-) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I too hold open doors for anyone who is near me. Just common courtesy. But I have to say, I do appreciate it when a man does it for me intentionally (as in, he's not just holding the door because there are people right behind him). Like, today. I was working and at some point we went to get food in someone's car. Not only did the other passenger let me have the front seat, he also opened and closed the door for me as I entered the car. Completely unnecessary, of course, and I wouldn't have expected it, but it was a nice gesture. Link to post Share on other sites
Author seekingluck Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 A great scene from an even greater movie... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyj2VNVB8qk TFY The only thing is, if they have a new car, all the doors unlock with the remote. Or if it is like my car? There is no lock on the door. This was a good test maybe 15-20 years ago when automatic door locks were really premium. These days? It doesn't work. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I open doors for women and let them off first from the elevator as well. However, I dated a woman briefly that got angry when I did so. Link to post Share on other sites
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