empresario Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 This is the second time he's done this to you. Even if he comes back, there will be a third, a fourth, a fifth... Are you prepared to date someone with a short fuse and acts like a child the rest of your life? If not, just end it in your mind (since he won't talk to you) and move on. The only way to move forward is to make the decision you're going to do it.
J21 Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 Perhaps the relationship has just run its course and the guy just needed an excuse or tipping point to bring things to an end. I am by no means justifying the actions of the guy, but as a 30 year old man it's quite childish unreasonable. The way he is acting just doesn't make sense, and I'm suspecting there may be other issues that we don't know about.
Ami1uwant Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 My gut instinct.......there is more to this. I think he has complained about this numerous times in the past like she said she told him snd he says she didn't or she wanders off in a crowd snd doesn't tell him where she is going. If she is sating it to him she isn't confirming that he heard her with some acknowledgement. He probably have said to her to not do this but she still is doing it. I don't like it either because I have serious problems finding someone in crowds or a situation like I'll find a seat in the good court or theater and aske me to come and find them.
smackie9 Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 What? He couldn't text message you "Hey I'm over at ____, where are you?" What a joke. He bailed because he just wanted out. Let him go, he has already emotionally, and now physically left the relationship. 1
smackie9 Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 BTW when someone talks about marriage and crap during the first 6 months to a year and a half is just that TALK. You should never ever take it as a promise, hell no. 1
Author Terry8889 Posted September 25, 2015 Author Posted September 25, 2015 My gut instinct.......there is more to this. I think he has complained about this numerous times in the past like she said she told him snd he says she didn't or she wanders off in a crowd snd doesn't tell him where she is going. No, this is definitively not true. I had never done that before. But I agree with most people saying he is very immature. He has mentioned a few times his mother goes through his clothes selecting what he should get rid of and what he should keep. Also he has mentioned "my mom doesn't want me to do this... or that" even though he has his own house he is very close to his parents to the point he has dinner with them every single day. I thought being close to his parents was sweet but I think that closeness has not let him grow up, that's just my guess. He also spends hundreds dollars on legos, I mean there are a lot of people who collect them. I am a fan of legos too, but I would never spend that much money on some plastic. Instead of wasting that money like that, I would rather give the money to help someone in the family, buy them something nice or take them out to eat. But that's how I think. Obviously he doesn't. Another thing, he told me he has only had 2 girlfriends in his whole life, I can see why now. and besides his coworkers he has never mentioned having any close friends.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 OP, you were dating a child. He is far too old to be behaving like this. Have you met his family? Any of his co-workers?
Author Terry8889 Posted September 25, 2015 Author Posted September 25, 2015 Have you met his family? Any of his co-workers? No I didn't. He wanted me to meet his parents but I said I was having finals and wanted to get that out the way, bc it was a stressful time and he said ok. Then a few weeks after that I went out of the country for 5 weeks and when I came back his parents went out of the country for 2 weeks. He said he would find the time and coordinate schedules, waited 2 months and never happened. I didn't push him to do it. Bc I thought he would do it when he considers the time is right. Never met his friends bc as I mentioned already He doesn't have any close friends. I guess I will not contact him anymore and try to forget all this. Bc as many people said here, I already did my part and he is behaving like a child. If he grows up sometime and thinks I was worth it, special or whatever he will come back someday, if not anyway I will be moving on.
MissBee Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 He would no longer be my boyfriend anymore. I expected you to say you all were teens but 30???? That's ridiculous. I personally wouldn't have continued dating him if I realized he easily gets upset and does the silent treatment over silly things (you looking at your phone, HIM not hearing you etc). It's a weird form of being controlling and punishing this person and no healthy relationship can function like this. If a man is going to ignore me for TWO WEEKS because I told him I was gonna get food and he didn't hear lmaooo...he could continue ignoring me. I would simply tell him it's over and move on. Please do not stay with this guy, even if he comes back. He's very immature and needs to learn to manage his feelings and expectations in a better way. Do you really want to go through several more months/years of this where you never know when he'll ignore you because you left the cap off the toothpaste, because you typed one exclamation instead of two in a text or some other dumb reason. Life is too short to spend tending to the immature and petty behaviors of this guy. 3
ExpatInItaly Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 No I didn't. He wanted me to meet his parents but I said I was having finals and wanted to get that out the way, bc it was a stressful time and he said ok. Then a few weeks after that I went out of the country for 5 weeks and when I came back his parents went out of the country for 2 weeks. He said he would find the time and coordinate schedules, waited 2 months and never happened. I didn't push him to do it. Bc I thought he would do it when he considers the time is right. Never met his friends bc as I mentioned already He doesn't have any close friends. I guess I will not contact him anymore and try to forget all this. Bc as many people said here, I already did my part and he is behaving like a child. If he grows up sometime and thinks I was worth it, special or whatever he will come back someday, if not anyway I will be moving on. Dating for two years and never met any family, friends or co-workers? I would seriously question if they even know you exist. This guy is not serious about you. 1
Author Terry8889 Posted September 26, 2015 Author Posted September 26, 2015 Dating for two years and never met any family, friends or co-workers? I would seriously question if they even know you exist. This guy is not serious about you. They knew I existed, that's what I mentioned earlier. He was so excited about us being together and all of a sudden he got upset for something so stupid to the point he won't even talk to me or replied to my msgs for more than 2 weeks now
MzLady Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 I'm sure others have commented on this, but your bf sounds very controlling. He has you walking on eggshells over absolutely ridiculous things and I don't know how you have lasted 3 years of this. It's up to you if you want to keep waiting for him to come, but you seem like a very nice and patient person. This guy is 30 years old and is behaving like a 5 year old and is taking advantage of that. You and I are in a similar situation though. I am in a no contact situation with my relatively new "bf" right now. He stopped talking to me for 5 days now over something stupid (my post: "Haven't Heard From My BF in 5 Days"). Even though it has only been 5 days and I have tried to reach out to him on a couple of occasions, I am now questioning if I should even be wasting my emotional energy on someone that would pull a disappearing act on someone who obviously cares about them. It's selfish and a strong indicator this person is only about #1. I don't know what I would do if I were 2 years into it and experiencing this type of behavior. I hope that you are able to move on though... several weeks is long enough to wait. I'm not saying go find a new bf, but maybe you should delete his # and email and try to focus on things that you enjoy and try not to dwell. Easier said than done.. I know... seriously. But I wish you the best of luck in this tough situation. Take care 1
ExpatInItaly Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 They knew I existed, that's what I mentioned earlier. He was so excited about us being together and all of a sudden he got upset for something so stupid to the point he won't even talk to me or replied to my msgs for more than 2 weeks now Then he's just not into you anymore. Sorry OP, but this guy is a jerk. His behaviour is unacceptable.
Recommended Posts