BeyondSay Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 So my girlfriend of 4 months (honeymoon period) broke up with me 2 weeks ago. I as lost hurt and completely dumbfounded. I still am hurting to this day. I think the absolute world of her and I'm quite upset. 5 weeks ago I got a new job, great career opportunity and I was boasting about it and the money, maybe a little too much, this is completely out of character for me. Now during the relationship I was beginning to feel like I was doing the majority of the running around, paying for most things. We were out for dinner and after a stressful day at work I may have said some things that I regret that humiliated her, about paying for the dinner. The following day she texts me saying it's over, that I don't treat her well enough like a proper girlfriend (which now I feel is true), that she earns a lot less than me and she hated the fact I was bragging and that I was being tight with money and wouldn't pay for things. Relationships are 50:50 but I never took her predicament into the situation, I always thought we should split things. I am heartbroken about this, I had fallen in love with her and we got on great and she seemed like she was happy. She didn't want to talk. A few days later I told her that I bought some tickets to see her favourite comedian and was going to surprise her. I had bought them 6 weeks ago before all of this mess started. Then she said she was going to think. I get a text saying 'I don't know what I want.' The following day she texts me saying lets meet up to talk about things. We the n chatted like nothing had happened. Two days later I ask if we're still on, she says yes. Then an hour later I get an essay saying she's basically changed her mind, this isn't what she wants and that she's going traveling next year so has to save money. I was so hurt and upset. I absolutely think the world of her. How do I salvage this? I've been trying the no contact route but it's so difficult! She has text me since but I've asked her not to contact me as I'm hurting. But I want the opposite, this sucks as I genuinely made a mistake saying things that are completely out of character for me and want to makes amends. She deserves to be treated like a girlfriend should be. I feel bad!
d0nnivain Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 Once you humiliate somebody it's really hard to go back. After bragging about how much money you now make you complained that she wasn't paying for more of your dating. Your timing sucks. Those two things don't belong in the same conversation especially if you make more than she does. It's only been 120 days. To even try to fix this now isn't worth the effort. Going forward, think before you speak. You will avoid problems like this in the future.
K2z Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 23 is incredibly young. I didn't believe that at your age, and I didn't believe it when I was 18 either. I felt that all was forefeit. You have now a power you can not properly appreciate at the moment. You have the capacity to make big, bold moves with little downside for failure. Consult your heart and find out where there is the brightest flicker of interest. Then, launch yourself like a missile at it. With sincerity, devotion, and a sense of damn what follows. Do that, and whatever the result 2 or 3 years later, not only do you have the complete ability to reinvent yourself but you will have built a foundation to continue in the path of what you love.
PegNosePete Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 How do I salvage this? Sorry to say, you don't. She has clearly made up her mind. It sounds as though you were already putting in the bulk of the work into making the relationship work, as you said, running around, paying for everything. Yet she still dumped you. What does that tell you? Either you doing the majority of the work still wasn't good enough for her (ie. high maintenance, entitled, princess type)! Or she was feeding you that line because she didn't want to say something that would hurt you like "look, I just don't want to be in a relationship with you", or "the other guy I'm seeing is better". And this "don't know what I want" thing probably means she has another guy on the go. So no, I do not think you should bother trying to salvage this. It will not end well for you. Even if she changes her mind again, she will probably change it back in a day. Her interest in you is borderline at best. After 4 months, that is not a good basis for a relationship. Time to move on.
Recommended Posts