TheKraken Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Hi, I am a 40-year old male, with just one 9-year relationship to his credit, which ended approximately 4 years ago. Since that time, I moved to a new country (UK), took a post-grad course, and now have a new job in a smaller town. Throughout my life, I have had many rejection. From attempts made at university, or in bar/club situations. Some were normal, some were friendly, some were disdainful, some were even after fake interest was feigned. This has made me very jaded, in a way that even when I think a girl might be interested, I do not advance unless I see a very bright green light. So, right now, I know I need to learn how to make talk. And, especially, flirt. As a first step, of course. Learning how to read signs, body language, etc, is also important. But I don't want to bite off more than I can chew for now. I am not in an easy situation to do so, admittedly. My social contact is mostly limited to work. Since I don't have a car, and live close to the suburbs, it's not easy to go out. Plus, if it is difficult with people I work with, it would become even more difficult in a situation with strangers, and in places ridden with "competition". The main problem is, whenever I am near someone I might want to flirt with, my mind goes totally blank. Either that, or it fills up with disconnected phrases, which sound totally illogical. As if, instead of making me sound pleasant, they would make me look like a weirdo. So my question is: What kind of practice would you propose to someone in my situation? How do I combat the "Blank Mind Syndrome"? Is there any training/reading/whatever you propose? Thank you.
RightThere Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 So my question is: What kind of practice would you propose to someone in my situation? How do I combat the "Blank Mind Syndrome"? Is there any training/reading/whatever you propose? Thank you. I've found reading more and listening to podcasts on anything make me have more to talk about (as opposed to watching TV or that). Get out and have some "experiences" so you have stories to tell. More importantly, if you're with a girl, ask lots of questions. Let them do all the talking and listen. They'll think you're the most interesting man in the world.
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