katiegrl Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 Haha.. That's exactly what I told her. But once again, that thread was just more of a rant/surprised reaction. Okay ff.... I believe you.... I think maybe I'm just giving you a hard time because well..... I just like giving you a hard time!! LOL
Author fitnessfan365 Posted September 25, 2015 Author Posted September 25, 2015 I realize that, but, as much I like ff ... he claims to be unlike "most" people (my words) in that he is dominant, in control and confident. Huh? I don't remember claiming anything of that sort at all. I just know myself and how I like to handle myself w/women I date. I never claimed to be anything special or better than other people..LOL
katiegrl Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 Huh? I don't remember claiming anything of that sort at all. I just know myself and how I like to handle myself w/women I date. I never claimed to be anything special or better than other people..LOL I know read my post following.... I'll leave it alone now.... I'm just being a brat. lol
Woggle Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 Exactly: might as well be dating a man. Which we, as women, know all about. I get a kick out of all these conventionally masculine traits getting described as controlling and lacking humility and stubborn. Just think, guys, you're describing yourselves! We are not describing ourselves. The misandrist stereotypes about men are nothing like what really makes us tick and they say nothing about our complexities and intricacies.
Gaeta Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Also, she claims that I'm the only guy to ever truly understand her and handle her properly. My position on this since beginning has been that she's a controller. This reminds me of a few things in this thread you've mentioned like that you're dominant and she's very submissive in bed. THAT supports my theory that she is all about control. See, in a dom-sub role it's the submissive that truly has all the power. The submissive is the one setting the rules and boundaries therefore she is the one with the real power. 1
katiegrl Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 My position on this since beginning has been that she's a controller. This reminds me of a few things in this thread you've mentioned like that you're dominant and she's very submissive in bed. THAT supports my theory that she is all about control. See, in a dom-sub role it's the submissive that truly has all the power. The submissive is the one setting the rules and boundaries therefore she is the one with the real power. I agree Gaeta, which is why I said earlier that SHE is the one running the show. She's running it so well in fact, that she's got fittnessfan thinking HE is. But SHE actually is...... 1
Gaeta Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 I agree Gaeta, which is why I said earlier that SHE is the one running the show. She's running it so well in fact, that she's got fittnessfan thinking HE is. But SHE actually is...... My bet is she is highly compatible with FF in the bedroom and that's why he's excusing her behavior out the bedroom. You know people will endure a bad relationship because of good sex but will rarely endure bad sex for a good relationship.
preraph Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 That does sound pretty extreme. I mean, I consider myself pretty independent and dyed in wool, but I know when to accept help. So that's some sort of problem. Maybe she's never really had someone she could trust to lean on before. Maybe after you're with her long enough, she'll come to trust you more. I've honestly never met someone who was that dedicated to not taking help, so I think it may be an unresolved family background problem rather than about her being a feminist. You know, something deeper. You might explain to her sometime when all is going well that you and most men like to feel a little useful from time to time and do nice things for women and that you feel it's more or less a reciprocal thing, though.
Gloria25 Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Others have made this excellent point already, but I'll say it again - this has nothing to do with genuine feminism, and it's frankly quite concerning that you think it does. That being said I do agree that there are a few women who labour under a similar misconception as you do - that if they want to be 'strong women' they cannot accept any sort of pampering or help from a man, ever. IMO that is borne out of insecurity and a desire to be 'different from other women'. I feel that those few ladies doth protest too much - most people who are confident in themselves and in being equals, don't have any issues with a kind hand helping them up when they fall. TL;DR: This is about her as an individual, not about feminism. Agreed, but women like the OP's gf seem to be excellent candidates to embrace the so-called ideals of feminism...so unfortunately, women like her and feminism often go hand-in-hand. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 I agree Gaeta, which is why I said earlier that SHE is the one running the show. She's running it so well in fact, that she's got fittnessfan thinking HE is. But SHE actually is...... Riiiiight...and M. Night Shyamalan will pop out of no where saying HE's the one behind all this! 2
Author fitnessfan365 Posted September 26, 2015 Author Posted September 26, 2015 My position on this since beginning has been that she's a controller. This reminds me of a few things in this thread you've mentioned like that you're dominant and she's very submissive in bed. THAT supports my theory that she is all about control. See, in a dom-sub role it's the submissive that truly has all the power. The submissive is the one setting the rules and boundaries therefore she is the one with the real power. I've never seen dominance/submission being about "control". It's always been more about the trust a woman gives because of how well I know her. Take sex for example. She gives in because she knows that I know what she needs and can take care of it. The lust a woman puts off when you do this is unbelievably sexy. So I could really care less about "who runs the show" to be honest. It's more about the trust a woman gives for me to take care of her. Overall I'd say that women have always had true power in relationships b/c men pursue them and want to make them happy. 1
Gaeta Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 I've never seen dominance/submission being about "control". It's always been more about the trust a woman gives because of how well I know her. Take sex for example. She gives in because she knows that I know what she needs and can take care of it. The lust a woman puts off when you do this is unbelievably sexy. Being submissive in the bedroom is not about blind trust, she only trust you will obey by her rules. She gave you ahead of time her limitations. The dominant does not establish the rules, the submissive does. She tells you You are allowed to dominate her from B to G. You have to respect those boundaries. If she feels uncomfortable at any time she can stop you and you have to execute yourself immediately. She has the control in the bedroom, you don't. 1
katiegrl Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 I've never seen dominance/submission being about "control". It's always been more about the trust a woman gives because of how well I know her. Take sex for example. She gives in because she knows that I know what she needs and can take care of it. The lust a woman puts off when you do this is unbelievably sexy. So I could really care less about "who runs the show" to be honest. It's more about the trust a woman gives for me to take care of her. -------- **Overall I'd say that women have always had true power in relationships b/c men pursue them and want to make them happy****. Very true!
Gloria25 Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 (edited) I've never seen dominance/submission being about "control". It's always been more about the trust a woman gives because of how well I know her. Take sex for example. She gives in because she knows that I know what she needs and can take care of it. The lust a woman puts off when you do this is unbelievably sexy. So I could really care less about "who runs the show" to be honest. It's more about the trust a woman gives for me to take care of her. Overall I'd say that women have always had true power in relationships b/c men pursue them and want to make them happy. I think some men think that they can "tame" these women...but from what I've seen, her being the boss outside of the bedroom eventually creeps its way into the bedroom where she loses respect for you cuz you become something "beneath" her and before you notice her kitty is gonna get pretty dry soon. I knew of a couple of guys who married ball-busters and those women ended up being cold in the bedroom and/or cheated and eventually divorced. Edited September 26, 2015 by Gloria25
katiegrl Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Being submissive in the bedroom is not about blind trust, she only trust you will obey by her rules. She gave you ahead of time her limitations. The dominant does not establish the rules, the submissive does. She tells you You are allowed to dominate her from B to G. You have to respect those boundaries. If she feels uncomfortable at any time she can stop you and you have to execute yourself immediately. She has the control in the bedroom, you don't. I dunno Gaeta, just reading about subs now .... and it says the exact opposite. It's all about how much they trust their partners ..... The dom decides how things go and the sub dutifully submits. Because she trusts him! And she will rarely feel uncomfortable, in fact she looks for ways to blow him away by her submissiveness, nothing is off limits as her goal is pleasing him "like a good little slut." hehe It is super interesting! 1
katiegrl Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 That is what some women refer to as submissive, and it's BS. Any woman that tells me she is submissive then gives me a bunch of rules can GTFO. Real submissive women just do what I say in the bedroom and that's it. Submissive with a bunch of rules is not even slightly interesting. Yeah, from what I am reading now, this seems to be correct and how it goes. 1
joseb Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Yeah, from what I am reading now, this seems to be correct and how it goes. What so you don't sign a contract? I knew 50 shades of shyte was a load of ... shyte. 3
Gaeta Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Yeah, from what I am reading now, this seems to be correct and how it goes. Plenty of articles on the submissive being the one in control. A lot of people improvise themselves as dominant and submissive without first documenting themselves on the rules. A man that respects his woman would never dominate her in the bedroom without first asking questions about her boundaries. 1
Gaeta Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Any woman that tells me she is submissive then gives me a bunch of rules can GTFO. Real submissive women just do what I say in the bedroom and that's it. Submissive with a bunch of rules is not even slightly interesting. A woman that let you dominate her without setting first her boundaries is a victim looking for an abuser. I can't believe some women liked this comment. 2
katiegrl Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 (edited) Plenty of articles on the submissive being the one in control. A lot of people improvise themselves as dominant and submissive without first documenting themselves on the rules. A man that respects his woman would never dominate her in the bedroom without first asking questions about her boundaries. From what I am reading a true sub has no boundaries. Her goal is to please her "master" ....again nothing is off limits. If anything, SHE is looking for ways to be more submissively outrageous! I have read four articles so far written by true subs ...and their doms. So while I don't doubt what you say is true, would that be considered a true sub/dom relationship? Even in my own sexual relationship with my boyfriend (and we are not sub/dom by any stretch), I don't have many boundaries, if any.. I trust him, I know he has my best interests at heart, would never hurt me, so anything goes!!! Edited September 26, 2015 by katiegrl 1
katiegrl Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 A woman that let you dominate her without setting first her boundaries is a victim looking for an abuser. I can't believe some women liked this comment. It has nothing to do with abuse Gaeta. Not from what I am reading, nor what I have experienced in my own relationship.. That's an entirely different ball of wax.
Gaeta Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 The Submissive has the Power The submissive camp stands firmly on the basis of the safeword. If a submissive has a safeword then they have the power in the relationship because if they say, “Stop” the Dominant has to stop. They can walk out of the relationship at any time just by revoking the power they have surrendered. The Dominant is in Charge That’s right, in this camp the Dominant ultimately has the final say in practically every decision that crosses the relationship. When you submit to someone you hand over control to them, whether it be for a short time or for the life of the relationship. You subject yourself to their desires and choices and if they say jump you jump. That safeword you hold on to in some relationships was given to you by your Dominant. Your Dominant has agreed to yield if you use it. (You probably also agreed not to abuse it or it would be revoked.) Yes the dominant makes the submissive jumps into loops at his will but he has to remain within HER comfort zone SO who really is in charge?
mrldii Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Not all women are looking at their men as if they are potential abusers. If a woman does not trust the man she is sleeping with not to abuse her, perhaps she shouldn't be sleeping with him. Good point. I've just never understood how "Whip me...beat me...make me write bad checks!!!" isn't "abuse", no matter how much one person begs it of another. But, then again, I prefer vanilla pudding over the other flavors, too...so WTF do I know about kosher pickles, anyhoo? 1
Gaeta Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Not all women are looking at their men as if they are potential abusers. If a woman does not trust the man she is sleeping with not to abuse her, perhaps she shouldn't be sleeping with him. We're talking BDSM here. How do you know her limits? How do you know how far you can take it? How do you know a certain behavior won't hurt her? The only way to know if for you to ask her how far she wants to take it. Right? When she tells you how far she is ok to take it you have to respect her boundaries. 2
Popsicle Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 You're old fashioned and like traditional gender roles? I never got that impression from you.
Recommended Posts