I have never cheated on my fiance till now

[Keenly]

Your fiance deserves to know that the woman he is thinking of marrying has no problem throwing away 9 years of a relationship. He deserves the opportunity to choose to be with you or to choose to leave you..

. It would be selfish of you to keep this from him.

[Bryanp]

1. You need to get tested for STD's since this OM is obviously a player and you are putting your fiance at risk.

2. If the roles were reversed wouldn't you expect your fiance to be honest with you?

[Raven3321]

I know you're scared to do what others are telling you, but it's all true. Trust me. It's better to go through the pain of telling him now than the utter destruction of him finding out after you marry him.

 

 

If you tell him now, he has to deal with betrayal. If you marry him and he finds out later (or you tell him), he has to deal with betrayal and deceit. If you read here long enough, you'll see that lies and deceit are sometimes worse than the actual infraction itself.

 

 

Also, you don't know what the MM will do later on. He and his wife may divorce, or something else happens and he comes looking for you or tries to start up the affair again on FB. In other words, even if you end it, this may come back to bite you later.

 

 

Speaking of ending it, I would do what other posters are saying but I would emphasize you need to quit your job and find a new one. You and this man have become one. Meaning, you're addicted to him. There's no way you can work with him without falling back into the same pattern. You weren't strong enough to resist before you had sex with him. What makes you think you can resist now? You have to get away from him....do whatever it takes. I would advise that whether you have a relationship with your fiancé or not.

 

 

Oh, one more thing. Remember, this isn't the end of the world. The sun will shine again for you. Breathe. God still loves you. Consequences will come but this too shall pass. Neither man is your "life" as you put it. Never live for a man.

[Diezel]

Know what I didn't read in your original post:

 

"This is my fault and I have to be an adult about this."

 

 

I pity the guy who is set to marry you. You blame anything else except yourself. So selfish.

 

What should you do? CANCEL THE WEDDING. But you won't. Because you "love" your fiancee so much, you cheated on him twice. That's TRUE love.

[Spectre]

I just wanted to say one more thing about the family photo thing. It's nice she felt guilt, but notice it was about something to do with the man she cheated with and not to do with the fiancé she had betrayed. Seeing the fiancé everyday was cool, but a photo of the other guys family is what really gets her. This is why I won't be giving any kudos for it.

[fellini]

End the affair. End your relationship with your fiance.

 

If you are going to tell your fiance, there will be no wedding. So walk away.

Itll be hard for you, but at least you learned something hard about yourself, and really there is no need to destroy your fiance because of it.

[Spectre]

End the affair. End your relationship with your fiance.

 

If you are going to tell your fiance, there will be no wedding. So walk away.

Itll be hard for you, but at least you learned something hard about yourself, and really there is no need to destroy your fiance because of it.

 

He deserves to know why the relationship is being ended, and the affair is a direct part of that. If she has any respect for him she will tell him. He is going to be destroyed either way, so really..she should tell him.

 

If she walks away as a liar then she hasn't learned much. It's also a little too late to play the "worried about his feelings" card.

[SummerDreams]

I still am not clear on the why you ended up in an affair after being with a man you obviously love for 9 years and being ready to take the next step in your life. You present it as if you were just dragged in this affair and you sort of had no say in it. Have you wondered why this happened? What do you think will happen if you tell your fiance? How do you find the possibility that he leaves you? What are your feelings about the affair and cheating on your fiance?

[Dutchman1]

Hello ,

 

If you don't know how to tell your boyfriend or MM,,,

Mail me their telephone nr.

I will set my alarm clock ( i'M in Europa ), and I can call them for you and I will put in a good on your behalf.

 

I will tell them you couldn't help it, and it was an OOPSIE.

 

 

Regards,

 

Dutchman 1

[Robert]

closed till the thread starter comes back, if you would like the thread re-opened then alert on a post and request we do so, thanks