endlessabyss Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 I just wanted to clear my mind, and write my thoughts down in a place where people might be able to relate.... After four years I met up with my ex, strictly to get back in my kids life. I want to be a good father, and I love my kid dearly. I refuse to let my kid down. I am happy it looks like I am going to get a second go, but seeing my ex has caused this rush of emotions; feelings of still wanting to be with her. Before all this has happened we hadn't talked in forever, maybe just a text here, and there, every six months. I know my situation; my ex has moved on with someone else, and our job is just to do the best possible to make sure our kid has the best life possible, but it feels so bitter sweet. I have a second chance at being a father, but deep down, I still want to be with her. My goal is to just conceal these feelings, and bury them, but I feel as if they will always be there. No matter what I do, I just can't shake these feelings. Since we split I graduated college, found a job (that has a lot of potential for growth), I eat clean, go to the gym three days a week, read, go out with friends from time to time.... Maybe I still feel this way because I haven't found anyone yet? I have been single for four years, and despite asking my female counterparts out to lunch, hang out, I haven't had any luck.. I am naturally a more inside person, but have definitely learned to force myself to be more outgoing, through my job. I am constantly on the phone, and communication is a huge part of my position. I still feel this emptiness... I just recognize the feeling, and try to smile at it. I just want to be positive and mature through this. Thank you for reading.
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 I would suggest you read "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. It's a much-vaunted book, almost to the point of becoming cliché, which is a shame, because it's an extremely good book. 1
Author endlessabyss Posted September 24, 2015 Author Posted September 24, 2015 I would suggest you read "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. It's a much-vaunted book, almost to the point of becoming cliché, which is a shame, because it's an extremely good book. Thank you for the recommendation I'll definitely look into it.
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