adiamond Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 (edited) The one month mark is really hard. Some music started playing, songs that I listened do when we were starting to fall in love and it made me feel like vomiting. He has a new gf and it feels like crap. I was feeling decent the past week, going to the gym and doing yoga. I was reading about breakups less and overall feeling not too bad. All the good memories are flooding my head and I feel like crap. sorry guys **MARK Edited September 24, 2015 by adiamond
man03999 Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 I feel you! Its been 3 weeks here and she is still the first person i think about when i wake up and last person i think about when i go to bed. I think I found that helps me a lot is run for about 30mins before you go to bed, that way you're exhaust and will help you sleep better!
greenleaves54 Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Have you blocked him on all social medias? If it's possible avoid any kind on updates of his life. Zero information is the best for you. Trust me. Now you know he got a gf, now is the time for you to move on. Its win-win for you. You move on and create a great life by yourself and if he decides to crawl back you can decide on what you really want. For him it's basically lose-lose instead. His rebound will most likely not work out and if he crawls back to you its all in your hands. That's what I tell myself anyway
Author adiamond Posted September 24, 2015 Author Posted September 24, 2015 Have you blocked him on all social medias? If it's possible avoid any kind on updates of his life. Zero information is the best for you. Trust me. Now you know he got a gf, now is the time for you to move on. Its win-win for you. You move on and create a great life by yourself and if he decides to crawl back you can decide on what you really want. For him it's basically lose-lose instead. His rebound will most likely not work out and if he crawls back to you its all in your hands. That's what I tell myself anyway I'm not looking at his social media, but he rarely posts (like once every 4 months). I don't have hope that he's going to crawl back because in my situation, I really don't think he's going to. I think he doesn't think I'm the right one and he'd rather try his luck with this new girl. I think he's moving on with his life, looking for new jobs out of the state and is looking forward. I think that I was a good girlfriend to him and one day, I'll find someone who will love much a lot and be there for me. I'm hopeful! I just miss those intimate times we had together and it's painful thinking that he doesn't think I'm irreplaceable.
Author adiamond Posted September 24, 2015 Author Posted September 24, 2015 (edited) What caused the breakup? we were together for a month before 1 year mark. he broke up with me because he said he couldn't handle the fact that we possibly could have to go into ldr (possibly that i was moving for school and him moving for a new job) and he wasn't willing to do ldr with me. at first, we were just going to hope that we could find a job and a school in the same city but it wasn't guaranteed and he said he kept thinking back on how it's possible we might move to different cities and he felt bad about it. he originally wanted to have a "break" but I said no, because break is just pre-breakup. he felt like if we went into ldr, ldr would eventually break us up it would drag on our relationship. he was telling me how much he loved me, how many good memories we had, how hard this was for him, how he might change his mind on this later, how great of a girlfriend i was, basically all the works. During the break up I cried and told him not to leave and that this relationship meant a lot to me and he stayed with me through the night (no sex) and we talked about it again the next morning and after many hours of talking he said he can't do it and we should go separate paths. I knew that he was texting a girl a month before our breakup a lot and I asked about her a few times. He told me it was nothing and she was just asking him questions about some things. 1 week after breakup, we talked a little and I said I missed him he said "I don't want to lead you on" and "I might change my mind on this breakup because you're wonderful but he wanted space", 2 weeks after break up, he posts pictures of him being on a date and I'm really sure it's this new girl. We haven't had any contact since then, it has been about 5 weeks after break up now. I dropped his stuff off outside his apt. door and he told me he'd drop my stuff off but I told him to do whatever with it (too painful to even see it). Edited September 24, 2015 by adiamond
Samuel_22 Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 The one month mark is really hard. Some music started playing, songs that I listened do when we were starting to fall in love and it made me feel like vomiting. He has a new gf and it feels like crap. I was feeling decent the past week, going to the gym and doing yoga. I was reading about breakups less and overall feeling not too bad. All the good memories are flooding my head and I feel like crap. sorry guys **MARK It's very natural girl...it is very natural... here I am on 45th day of NC...I am still experiencing those good and bad moments, there are moments I feel good and happy, there are moments that bring you down to you knees....and this is gonna be the same for sometime...what I have experienced that time is not the healer, whenever you feel weak and you fall down to your knees, that's the moment you heal....you become stronger, loves turns into hatred, hatred turns into indifference...and still you will go back and forth in these stages, but ultimately the complete and unconditional ''indifference'' will show up and you will feel the peace inside.... no matter what we do, we just need these moments of weakness, to grow stronger, so these moments are blessings post BU
thunder777 Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 dating someone new is the only solution to fully move on until then these ruminations about the ex will continue u say ur not looking at his social media, but your quite aware of his posting schedules and u know the exact status of his profiles. block them from your life immediately, deny the option of YOU looking at them. your healing needs that door closed permanently until you apply your energies to a new guy, the old guy is gonna forever be face of your heart, change that asap. you healing is most important and i know its not easy finding someone new, it wont ever feel as good as the deep deep previous relationship, but it will be ok and it will be a big relief for you
Author adiamond Posted September 25, 2015 Author Posted September 25, 2015 dating someone new is the only solution to fully move on until then these ruminations about the ex will continue u say ur not looking at his social media, but your quite aware of his posting schedules and u know the exact status of his profiles. block them from your life immediately, deny the option of YOU looking at them. your healing needs that door closed permanently until you apply your energies to a new guy, the old guy is gonna forever be face of your heart, change that asap. you healing is most important and i know its not easy finding someone new, it wont ever feel as good as the deep deep previous relationship, but it will be ok and it will be a big relief for you The only problem is, I don't think it's a good idea to go into a serious relationship right now because I don't know where I'm going in life right now. I'm worried casualy dating is going to hurt someone or me and I dont want casual sex with anyone
singme2sleep Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 I just met up with my ex today to exchange our stuff. God it feels weird even calling him my ex. It was rough and I feel so lost now.
thunder777 Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 (edited) The only problem is, I don't think it's a good idea to go into a serious relationship right now because I don't know where I'm going in life right now. I'm worried casualy dating is going to hurt someone or me and I dont want casual sex with anyone one thing at a time, just cos your having coffee with someone, doesnt mean an hour later you'll be spreading your legs and saying hey come in come in imagine yourself like a wheel, that was built to roll, with your previous relationship you that wheel was rolling so well having wonderful times. Unfortunately that person is gone, & now unfortunately for you, the wheel has become stuck its frozen & its stopped. it aint rolling and youre all jarred up having a hard time "moving on" the longer it stays that way, the longer youre in pain. the only solution is to let someone new to help get your wheel rolling again. if theyre not the correct suitor, then thats ok, but at least your attempting to be rolled Edited September 26, 2015 by thunder777
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