ExpatInItaly Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 Look, it's not working between the two of you. Why not cut your losses and just move on?
Author whiteshadows Posted September 25, 2015 Author Posted September 25, 2015 Look, it's not working between the two of you. Why not cut your losses and just move on? because its the only girl thats ever given me trouble like that and its fun
Author whiteshadows Posted September 26, 2015 Author Posted September 26, 2015 ^^^this right here. OP, your other thread kind of dashes your intent here, sorry to have to say. Hey, if you dont' want to chase her, etc., then don't. Find someone else. Problem solved. yeah but i did chase more this time but was waiting on her to initiate
Author whiteshadows Posted September 26, 2015 Author Posted September 26, 2015 White Shadows, How old are you? why do you ask
ExpatInItaly Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 because its the only girl thats ever given me trouble like that and its fun For you. You don't seem to understand it's not fun for her. That's why she's already dumped you once before. Relationships aren't games.
Author whiteshadows Posted September 26, 2015 Author Posted September 26, 2015 For you. You don't seem to understand it's not fun for her. That's why she's already dumped you once before. Relationships aren't games. What games
Author whiteshadows Posted September 27, 2015 Author Posted September 27, 2015 She didn't initiate because she was sure you were just after sex which she wasn't interested in. so what should she initiate anyway? Why did you make you sound like you were not serious? No theres nothing i did that made me sound like i wasnt serious
Author whiteshadows Posted September 27, 2015 Author Posted September 27, 2015 Is there a way to apologize for this?
Author whiteshadows Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 Any advice? Im thinking of writeing " it took me a long time to text after the date. It becomes boring after a while to always be the one that texts first and find it better when it Its balanced thats why it took long.
kpl Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Any advice? Im thinking of writeing " it took me a long time to text after the date. It becomes boring after a while to always be the one that texts first and find it better when it Its balanced thats why it took long. your idea of fixing this is contacting her to blame her for why you took so long. ...please leave her alone 1
Author whiteshadows Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 your idea of fixing this is contacting her to blame her for why you took so long. ...please leave her alone thats why im here for advice
losangelena Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Then call her up and say, "I'm really sorry for waiting so long to get back in touch. If you still want to go out, that would make me very happy," and leave it at that. Don't text her at this point, don't insinuate that it's her fault. Let her hear your voice and your sincerity. It'll ultimately be up to her whether she wants to go with it or not, but that is about the absolute best you can do. If you really do want to be with her, you need to be sincere and bold. Nothing less will do. And if you're not willing to do that, to stick your neck out and risk rejection, then don't even try with anything less. 2
Author whiteshadows Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 Then call her up and say, "I'm really sorry for waiting so long to get back in touch. If you still want to go out, that would make me very happy," and leave it at that. Don't text her at this point, don't insinuate that it's her fault. Let her hear your voice and your sincerity. It'll ultimately be up to her whether she wants to go with it or not, but that is about the absolute best you can do. If you really do want to be with her, you need to be sincere and bold. Nothing less will do. And if you're not willing to do that, to stick your neck out and risk rejection, then don't even try with anything less. calling is simply something my generation don't do even in situations like this. The truth is i have no problems apologizing when i believe i truly did something wrong. In this case i might of hurt her feelings but i believe she could of texted me. Im not sorry for taking long but im sorry for hurting her feelings .
losangelena Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 "Your generation?" I can't believe you're that much younger than me. If I were her, I'd appreciate a more direct approach from you. Do you want to continue seeing her or not? If yes, then reach out and be sincere. If not, then just don't worry about it. And c'mon, dude. We're giving you advice and you're like, shooting it all down.
Author whiteshadows Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 I would be more willing to be like : help me understand you. Last date you were super happy and now its changed. What changed? Is it because i took a while to get to you?
ExpatInItaly Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Call her. Don't bother asserting that your generation doesn't do that. Plenty of young men do. You don't because you're scared. And you're losing a real opportunity to make things right. Texting is too weak at this point. You ask for advice here and then more or less ignore it. Your way clearly isn't working, so what do you really want? 1
losangelena Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Sure, ask her that; there's nothing wrong with asking. I don't think anyone here is saying you need to grovel at her feet, it's just that typically speaking, when someone takes a week to get back to you, it starts to feel like they're not into you. And yes you can say as the guy it feels the same way, but women are by and large societally conditioned to wait for the man. If you want things to be different, you need to explain that to her, instead of just waiting around twiddling your thumbs. Clearer, more comprehensive communication is in order moving forward. Because silence is most often (and usually most accurately) interpreted as a lack of interest. Of course you want it to be reciprocal, but lead by example.
Author whiteshadows Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 Sure, ask her that; there's nothing wrong with asking. I don't think anyone here is saying you need to grovel at her feet, it's just that typically speaking, when someone takes a week to get back to you, it starts to feel like they're not into you. And yes you can say as the guy it feels the same way, but women are by and large societally conditioned to wait for the man. If you want things to be different, you need to explain that to her, instead of just waiting around twiddling your thumbs. Clearer, more comprehensive communication is in order moving forward. Because silence is most often (and usually most accurately) interpreted as a lack of interest. Of course you want it to be reciprocal, but lead by example. yeah i agree but apologizing for something im not actually sorry for i cant do. i rather discuss it with her if you know what i mean
ExpatInItaly Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 yeah i agree but apologizing for something im not actually sorry for i cant do. i rather discuss it with her if you know what i mean Ok, so let's say she does confirm that your silence was the reason things changed. What are you then going to say to her?
Author whiteshadows Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 Ok, so let's say she does confirm that your silence was the reason things changed. What are you then going to say to her? then id be like'' so i hurt your feelings by waiting a while to text you?'' then she says yeah or blahblavlah the ides is to get her to communicate then id be like im sorry i hurt your feelings the reason i didnt text was......
ExpatInItaly Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 then id be like'' so i hurt your feelings by waiting a while to text you?'' then she says yeah or blahblavlah the ides is to get her to communicate then id be like im sorry i hurt your feelings the reason i didnt text was...... And? How will you finish that sentence? This part is important.
Author whiteshadows Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 And? How will you finish that sentence? This part is important. I would tell her the truth, that i like it when its a two way street but i understand that doing that might of hurt her feelings.
StocksnBlondes Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 OP I agree with every one on here re: your lackadaisical behavior and yes that's exactly what it is so look up the definition if need be. And if you want to wait and find someone with the same attitude as you as suggested by Erica ...well I guarantee you won't like the outcome. FYI ...your "generation" comment is laughable. Being a gentleman never goes out of style ...so man up ...put yourself out there and take risks. I have a 14 yr old who's just started to date and ya know what ...he texts sometimes for silly little playful banter but face times and calls for the real stuff so I'm not drinking the coolaid you're offering up. I actually talked with him over the weekend re dating (went to his first homecoming dance) and said "ya know you might ask a girl out and not all will say yes" his response ..."I know mom ...it's a numbers game". Had to chuckle at that ... I know he'll get his heart broken out there dating ... But I want him to always be the gentleman ...and man up ...perhaps you didn't get that message from your parents ... And if you've come across girls who've acted badly as well ...are they who you want to date? So don't use that as an excuse as you'll find a lot of those out there ...just hit the next button. In closing ...I've just started dating again after 18 years and there have been a few guys with your attitude ...who don't man up ...not worth my time as there are a lot of guys who were raised to be gentlemen and I'd rather invest in a relationship with them. I learned a lot from dating in my 20s which guys to avoid like the plague. Don't be that kind of guy. Guys do the chasing ...it's evolution. 1
theredpill Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 If you like her and the first date went well, you should be asking her when she's free within 3 days, if a woman thinks your playing games for making her wait three days and gets shirty, thank the gods you found out now and next her unstable ass immediately. This is about you and the stability of a potential partner, 3 days is fine but a week is way too long, definitely comes across as either uninterested or a player.
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