whiteshadows Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 (edited) I went out with this girl on monday the 14th everything went well date ended in kiss. I texted her a week later which was this monday. I asked her" when are you free to get together this week." She responded" on wednesday im going to another town and after that im helping my friend move".( i know its true her friend is moving on facebook.) I replied on tuesday: cool text me and well set something up another time( i thought she was rejecting the offer) Did she say that to make me ask her out that tuesday because she didnt want to lead and just give day when she is available:s Me and this girl have history we stopped seeing at first because she didnt know what my intentions were and i was a bit of an ass. Edited September 24, 2015 by whiteshadows
Toodaloo Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Your leaving it too long between texts. You have been an ass once so to put it bluntly you need to pull your socks up if you want this girl. Ask in advance set a day and time. Keep in contact between. That does not mean leaving it a week. Your treating her like a booty call. Stop being an ass. 7
Karimikui Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 If she was interested she'd have told you when she IS free 1
losangelena Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Hold on, you went on a date on the 14th, and didn't text her again at all until this Monday? You waited a whole week to text, or a whole week to ask her out again but you've been texting her about other things? I agree with Toods—if you want to be with her, you need to keep the engine running a bit more consistently. Don't wait a week to ask her out again if you want to see her. She probably thinks you're totally uninterested in her. 5
Author whiteshadows Posted September 24, 2015 Author Posted September 24, 2015 If she was interested she'd have told you when she IS free Yeah that what i would think to but shes quite insecure and ive heard some girl will tell your her plans but leave days opne like she did
Toodaloo Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Yeah that what i would think to but shes quite insecure and ive heard some girl will tell your her plans but leave days opne like she did I have heard that some girls get so irritated by silly boys playing games and messing them about that they just can't be bothered anymore, they walk away and get on with life. I am going to be blunt with you. If you want her - up your game. If not - leave her alone At the moment she is wise to you, can't be bothered and is just being polite. You put yourself on the back foot. If you want to get somewhere quit being an idiot that is playing games. It didn't work before. It sure as heck isn't going to work now. 6
kendahke Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Call her and ask her out on a specific day at a specific time. Don't leave it nebulous--ask her out on Thursday evening at 7:30p at a local spot. I think that when you don't have a specific plan, they're not going to suggest a firm date, either, especially if they're not that interested. And yeah, leaving a week in between asking her out sort of conveys that you're really not that interested, either. I'm surprised you didn't suggest your second date before the first one on the 14th ended. 4
losangelena Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 And yeah, leaving a week in between asking her out sort of conveys that you're really not that interested, either. I'm surprised you didn't suggest your second date before the first one on the 14th ended. Same. If I was this girl, and hadn't heard from you in a week, I would have A) written you off, and B) be suspicious as to why you're sniffing around now. I'd assume you'd either met someone else and it hadn't worked out, or that you're just looking for some a**. You think she's feeling "ehn" about you, but you sound a bit "ehn" about her. Tit for tat. Two "ehns" do not an exciting relationship make. 2
Author whiteshadows Posted September 24, 2015 Author Posted September 24, 2015 ok so i texted her asking if she was helping move her friend during weekend and she said right now im still in ''other city'' but yes ill be helping her almost all weekend.
Karimikui Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 ok so i texted her asking if she was helping move her friend during weekend and she said right now im still in ''other city'' but yes ill be helping her almost all weekend. She's not into you.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 ok so i texted her asking if she was helping move her friend during weekend and she said right now im still in ''other city'' but yes ill be helping her almost all weekend. Sorry, but I think this one's done. You waited far too long to get in touch after your date. 2
Author whiteshadows Posted September 24, 2015 Author Posted September 24, 2015 Sorry, but I think this one's done. You waited far too long to get in touch after your date. **** i think so too she was s exited on the date and wanted to see me soon and now. oh well ill know next time.
Author whiteshadows Posted September 24, 2015 Author Posted September 24, 2015 i feel ike opening up to her a bit
EricaH329 Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Just be straight forward. Ask when she's available. Helping a friend move all weekend isn't uncommon. I'd apologize for waiting so long to ask, but express your interest in seeing her again. She may just need a bit of reassurance that you are, in fact, interested. If she can't give you a straight answer, an exact day or time, then I would leave it alone.
Author whiteshadows Posted September 24, 2015 Author Posted September 24, 2015 Just be straight forward. Ask when she's available. Helping a friend move all weekend isn't uncommon. I'd apologize for waiting so long to ask, but express your interest in seeing her again. She may just need a bit of reassurance that you are, in fact, interested. If she can't give you a straight answer, an exact day or time, then I would leave it alone. Nah shes gone cold, i asked her to do something on Monday and she gave the we'll see. At the same time she didnt text me during that week either, but shes the type that will never initiate contact. Im just pissed since i know shes gone cold because she thinks i dont care when in fact i do. But telling her will be like me chasing.
EricaH329 Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Nah shes gone cold, i asked her to do something on Monday and she gave the we'll see. At the same time she didnt text me during that week either, but shes the type that will never initiate contact. Im just pissed since i know shes gone cold because she thinks i dont care when in fact i do. But telling her will be like me chasing. If you asked to do something on a certain day then it shows you care on some level. Should you have asked sooner? Yeah. But you still asked. If she's that concerned with the timing then that just sounds like a headache down the road. Honestly, I think you've done everything you can given the situation. The ball is in her court now.
Disconnect Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 You waited a whole week. If I was her I would have written you off.
Author whiteshadows Posted September 24, 2015 Author Posted September 24, 2015 If you asked to do something on a certain day then it shows you care on some level. Should you have asked sooner? Yeah. But you still asked. If she's that concerned with the timing then that just sounds like a headache down the road. Honestly, I think you've done everything you can given the situation. The ball is in her court now. Yeah she would probably be really needy down the road, on the date i asked how her bestfriend was doing who is a female and she lied about her having a bf, as if i was gonna go after her friend.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Yeah she would probably be really needy down the road, on the date i asked how her bestfriend was doing who is a female and she lied about her having a bf, as if i was gonna go after her friend. I don't see how her being less than pleased with radio silence for an entire week after your date necessarily means she will be needy down the road. You dropped the ball on this one. Out of curiosity, why did you wait to so long to talk to her again? 1
EricaH329 Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Yeah she would probably be really needy down the road, on the date i asked how her bestfriend was doing who is a female and she lied about her having a bf, as if i was gonna go after her friend. That's extremely strange! It's beginning to sound to me like you may be better off.
losangelena Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Nah shes gone cold, i asked her to do something on Monday and she gave the we'll see. At the same time she didnt text me during that week either, but shes the type that will never initiate contact. Im just pissed since i know shes gone cold because she thinks i dont care when in fact i do. But telling her will be like me chasing. Why don't you want do chase her? That's the point of early dating, is it not? That's what she spent a whole week waiting for you to do! 1
EricaH329 Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 I don't see how her being less than pleased with radio silence for an entire week after your date necessarily means she will be needy down the road. You dropped the ball on this one. Out of curiosity, why did you wait to so long to talk to her again? Personally, if I went on a date with a guy and I liked him, i'd take the initiative to say something to him if it took awhile for him to get ahold of me. The whole idea of someone being passive aggressive, not saying that he took too long, or she isn't interested, seems like it may turn into a problem down the road. Yeah, he should have asked sooner, but if I liked a guy I would either A) Let him know he took too long, or B) Get over it and hang out with him.
Author whiteshadows Posted September 24, 2015 Author Posted September 24, 2015 That's extremely strange! It's beginning to sound to me like you may be better off. Yeah its like she was hiding her needyness, but it showed in subtle ways. Another time before the date she was on a month trip, we texted a bit throughout and stopped for a week. when i initiated after a week she started saying stuff that was obviously bowl**** to see how i reacted. She said youll have to be patient i might stay much longer. I said stay as long as you want to really enjoy it. Then she started really exaggerating how long and how much she was gonna travel and I was just brushing it off as if i didnt care when she came back. She actually ending up coming back much earlier lol.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Yeah its like she was hiding her needyness, but it showed in subtle ways. Another time before the date she was on a month trip, we texted a bit throughout and stopped for a week. when i initiated after a week she started saying stuff that was obviously bowl**** to see how i reacted. She said youll have to be patient i might stay much longer. I said stay as long as you want to really enjoy it. Then she started really exaggerating how long and how much she was gonna travel and I was just brushing it off as if i didnt care when she came back. She actually ending up coming back much earlier lol. Okay, I remember you now OP. I participated in your last thread. This is the same girl who previously dumped you because she thought you were too cold and aloof, correct? And you showed her that nothing has changed at all. She came back and you demonstrated to her that she was right the first time. You don't seem to get how being so distant can cause a woman to lose attraction. It also makes us more likely to spend time and energy with a guy who is actually ready for a commitment and communicates openly. We all cautioned you against being so closed-off. And now history is repeating itself. 1
Author whiteshadows Posted September 24, 2015 Author Posted September 24, 2015 Personally, if I went on a date with a guy and I liked him, i'd take the initiative to say something to him if it took awhile for him to get ahold of me. The whole idea of someone being passive aggressive, not saying that he took too long, or she isn't interested, seems like it may turn into a problem down the road. Yeah, he should have asked sooner, but if I liked a guy I would either A) Let him know he took too long, or B) Get over it and hang out with him. Yeah thats what i was thinking when i was with her she is very passive agressive. When we met each other i had a lot of women talking to me and flirting in front of her(not to sound pretentious) and ever since then i feel like she constantly needs to tell me when a guy hits on her( even though i knew for a fact it didnt happen) and i would just brush it off.
Recommended Posts