lexi2001 Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 my only problem is i'm nearly 14 and his nearly 30 . i don't know what to do. can someone help?
Clarence_Boddicker Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 If you have feelings for him, you have to be strong & cut ties with him. He could go to jail & become a registered sex offender if he gets into a relationship with you & crosses a very tempting line.
SandraTempleton Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 Lexi Sweetie, Think about this. This guy is more than double your age. He's old enough to be your father. Let that sink in for a second. I know he probably seems great online when he's messaging you and paying attention to you. But it's wrong on sooo many levels. You are still in High School, you should be dating high school guys! Going to the movies, to dances, football games... This guy won't be able to do any of that stuff with you. Plus if you do pursue a relationship with him (especially one that is sexual in nature) it is considered statutory rape. And he could go to jail and have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life. Plus as a 27 year old woman, I find it very creepy that a 30 year old guy is flirting/hitting on a 14 year old girl. A girl that can't go to the bar for 7 years.... Surely there's something very immature about him why he can't get a woman his own age. The whole situation just seems off to me.
Lois_Griffin Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 I think I saw your 'boyfriend' on Dateline with Chris Hansen.
Author lexi2001 Posted September 25, 2015 Author Posted September 25, 2015 im not dating him and i know him in person i said i was in love with him and i never said he was hitting on me. if i did date him i would wait till im at least 18
Lois_Griffin Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 im not dating him and i know him in person i said i was in love with him and i never said he was hitting on me. if i did date him i would wait till im at least 18 By the time you're 18, you will have had many boyfriends - and one of them grown men. And much as you don't believe it, you wont even remember this guy's name in 4 years.
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 ... This guy won't be able to do any of that stuff with you. Plus if you do pursue a relationship with him (especially one that is sexual in nature) it is considered statutory rape. And he could go to jail and have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life. Plus as a 27 year old woman, I find it very creepy that a 30 year old guy is flirting/hitting on a 14 year old girl. A girl that can't go to the bar for 7 years.... Surely there's something very immature about him why he can't get a woman his own age. The whole situation just seems off to me. How you managed to get all this from a one-line initial post is beyond me. Talk about jumping to conclusions and making 2 + 2 = 49... You know what they say about it when we assume anything... lexi2001, who is this guy, to you? I mean, how do you know him? I hesitate to trivialise your feelings - I'm not doing that - but if I may say so, try to take a step back and see what's happening here. You are a young, impressionable teenager who is probably in the first throes of hormonal changes, and you're beginning to experience very natural, normal and expected feelings and sensations about members of the opposite sex. I suspect this guy is within your natural circle of acquaintances, but is not related. He has a particular influence on you from day to day, is nice to you, and gets on well with you.He could be a tutor, coach or even a local store worker. How you feel about him is understandable. Just please resist any temptation to act on it, or even confess it to him. It will make things very awkward and embarrassing for you, but his position will become risky and destabilised. I'm an old woman (well, no, not that old, actually!) but in comparison to your tender years, I've been round the block a few times; and have 2 daughters of my own, as well, so I actually get it. Really, I do. I still remember my teenage crushes. I also remember them with a degree of humour and mild disbelief. Was I really that 'silly'? The answer is yes - but it didn't feel silly at the time, and I'm sure it doesn't feel silly to you now. Try to shift your focus and not attach any importance to this. You are entitled to feel this way, and experience the emotions, because it's a learning curve; this is how you learn about yourself, your likes, dislikes and your blossoming sexuality. But in the grand scheme of your life, he is unimportant, and should not - cannot - play a part. Accept how you feel, because how you feel, is real. But try to find different distractions, activities and ways to steer yourself towards healthy, productive and positive things to do for yourself. Guys your age are a mess. They're juvenile, dumb and they think with their trouser-buddies. You naturally don't want anything to do with them, because, boys are, well, just yuk. Love this guy, but from afar. And know that inevitably, as you get older, this will pass, move on, fizzle out and become unimportant in comparison to new things that will come your way. Trust me on this, I promise you. It's what I would tell my younger self, if I could. Whether she would listen... or whether you will.... I don't know. I'm giving you my best shot. It's no more than you deserve. Take care.
SandraTempleton Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 Can I ask you a question Lexi. Why did you post this in the Long Distance Relationships (LDR) section? 2
justwhoiam Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 my only problem is i'm nearly 14 and his nearly 30 . i don't know what to do. can someone help? I think I was in a similar situation a couple of times. The first time, I was your age now, and the second time I was a senior in high school. The first time, it was him being interested in me, but a relative of mine prevented any contact, thinking I was too young, and the guy obviously needed more than I could give. The second time around, interest was kind of mutual, and the guy got almost to the point of reaching out to me, but he had a girlfriend, so that probably stopped him. That plus my age factor. I still like to think that he regretted his decision, especially the moment he saw me with a boyfriend, months later. We saw each other with our respective partners and the world stopped for a moment. I guess attraction was there. Still. My advice is that you don't try to make it happen. Now, you're obviously too young. Keep him under your radar, for when you're a bit older, and see what's going on in his life. Probably this crush won't be there later on, when you're older, but maybe it'll still be there. Go on with your life and don't think of those feelings too much.
justwhoiam Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Oh, I just remembered about something else. When I was around 15/16, I had a crush on someone who was 19 (not much of an age difference, but I was still minor and he was legally adult). Well, a few years later he looked nowhere near what he looked like back then, so much so that I couldn't believe how I was attracted to him. Which is weird, considering I'm not into looks that much. But still, attraction works its own way.
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