Karimikui Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 I started chatting to a very good looking guy on Tinder about 3 weeks ago. Unfortunately we took things to WhatsApp (the texting app) and now he is in touch constantly. We spoke on the phone for the first and only time about 2 weeks ago and I was immediately put off by him. He seemed extremely unintelligent. I politely cancelled the date we'd set up. I hoped never to hear from him again. Instead I am getting daily texts from him. He's asked me out on about 3 more dates (each time I just decline). Unfortunately instead of telling him I have no interest in him I used being "very busy with work and family" as my excuse each time I declined. He's now taken to asking me all kinds of questions about my family and saying he's worried about me that my work is so stressful. I no longer even reply to his texts. I see that last night he sent a text saying "Shall we chat on the phone tonight to catch up and set up a date?" Do I just block him? Is there a painless way of telling him to please go away?
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Yes. Tell him "Please go away.". THEN Block him. 1
Author Karimikui Posted September 24, 2015 Author Posted September 24, 2015 Yes. Tell him "Please go away.". THEN Block him. Are you serious? It's not too rude to tell him to go away?
siriusp Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 when he doesn't get the message - after you told him several times you are busy.... then you will have to say: I am very sorry - but I am not interested in staying in touch. Simple and polite. Good for him and good for you! 1
bcnguy Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Are you serious? It's not too rude to tell him to go away?Or maybe you prefer to wait till the real stalking begins... 1
Author Karimikui Posted September 24, 2015 Author Posted September 24, 2015 I'm already worried about angering him. He clearly doesn't give up on stuff easily. I'm considering saying: "It was nice chatting to you but I'm seeing somebody now." It's not strictly true but it lets him down gently. 2
martaldn Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Are you serious? It's not too rude to tell him to go away? it is rude and I dont think you should be rude with someone that has never been rude to you. tell him that you have started to see someone else and things are getting serious and you dont think you should prosecute anything with him - then wish him good luck.. ect ect if he keeps bothering you then block him 1
d0nnivain Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 It's cruel to be kind. You need to stop lying to him & flat out say: You are smothering me. I tried to avoid your interest politely in the hopes that you would get the hint but you haven't. I'm not interested & I'm bowing out now. Then block him. 4
Siquijor Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Tell him you use to be a man. Problem solved.
Toodaloo Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 I'm already worried about angering him. He clearly doesn't give up on stuff easily. I'm considering saying: "It was nice chatting to you but I'm seeing somebody now." It's not strictly true but it lets him down gently. Trust me they still do not go away even when you say this... Just tell him that you no longer want to see him and would prefer to be left alone then blockety block block block.
Celeste.Carol Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 I read many posts with women being told the too busy line which is usually not true. The simple solution to not being unkind is to be honest and well, kind. Tell him he is a nice guy and you are seriously dating another man and are exclusive.
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 it is rude and I dont think you should be rude with someone that has never been rude to you. It's not rude. Rude would be:- "Can't you take a hint, you moron? I don't WANT to go out with you - I've turned you down enough times, but you're just not getting it! Now quit bothering me!" "Please go away" is no nonsense, to the point, blunt and unmistakeable. It let's him know - it's a no-go. tell him that you have started to see someone else and things are getting serious and you dont think you should prosecute anything with him - then wish him good luck.. ect ect Oh yes, by all means, downright lying is much better. So rather than be honest and no-nonsense about him, you think it would be best to mislead him? That wouldn't make him angry at all.... I mean, I'm sure you don't mind being lied to, when the truth would actually be simpler.... (Do you mean 'pursue'...? 'Prosecute' is a legal term... ) if he keeps bothering you then block him. She really should do that anyway. No matter what.
Clarence_Boddicker Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Why not just be honest with him? Tell him that you're not attracted to him & nothing is going to change that. Ask him to please stop contacting you. Block him if he keeps texted you. 4
Strahatmak Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 ... Or tell him you actually were a man LOL It's rude to just block him. I tried. Just be honest saying that you don't find the chemistry or you two have different expectations or you two look differently in a relationship etc etc etc, any reason showing you two are not working. Then ignore him.
ScienceGal Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 This is why the thought of online dating turns my stomach. Too many people lose their morals and manners, or maybe they didn't have any to begin with. Just tell him you made another connection and wish him well. Right now, he clearly still sees hope, so just be direct. His response shouldn't factor into your decision-making. You can move on knowing you did the respectable thing, and block him if need be. 1
Author Karimikui Posted September 24, 2015 Author Posted September 24, 2015 I told him I've met someone else. His reply was "No worries at all I hope it works out xx" 2
Trane Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 I told him I've met someone else. His reply was "No worries at all I hope it works out xx" The truth is never easy but the truth will set you free. Don't be mean or nasty about it either. You don't have to tell him about his off-putting behaviour but the truth says your not interested because of this. Tell him that you're not interested, wish him well and make sure at the same time to tell him not to wait for you and move on. If he doesn't get the hint. Ignore, ignore, ignore, delete, delete, delete. If he still doesn't get it, BLOCK him out. 1
Jejangles Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 What you sent is fine, but I have had to gently turn down quite a few guys who I met online and I always keep it brief and to the point. The below is what I send if I've met the guy, but it could be amended to before meeting. "It was really nice to meet you, but I'm not interested in taking things any further." I usually get silence to that, or if they respond "ok, thanks for letting me know". I have never once had a nasty reply but if I did I would just block and move on. While it stings to receive a rejection text, I think most people appreciate closure. I know I do! I never ghost now, unless it's a mutual ghost where neither of us is contacting the other. 1
Trane Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 What you sent is fine, but I have had to gently turn down quite a few guys who I met online and I always keep it brief and to the point. The below is what I send if I've met the guy, but it could be amended to before meeting. "It was really nice to meet you, but I'm not interested in taking things any further." I usually get silence to that, or if they respond "ok, thanks for letting me know". I have never once had a nasty reply but if I did I would just block and move on. While it stings to receive a rejection text, I think most people appreciate closure. I know I do! I never ghost now, unless it's a mutual ghost where neither of us is contacting the other. This. If he/she doesn't get the hint, that his/her problem.
kendahke Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 I'm already worried about angering him. He clearly doesn't give up on stuff easily. I'm considering saying: "It was nice chatting to you but I'm seeing somebody now." It's not strictly true but it lets him down gently. No, that's a lie and it's evidence that you don't own your own voice. Tell him "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested. I think you should try to find someone else better suited to you. Please don't contact me anymore". See, he's beyond the nice part of this. He needs a direct response, not all this nebulous game playing of "guess what I'm trying to say". You're wasting time. Just be direct--you can be courteous and direct at the same time. 3
jen1447 Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Moot point now I guess but lies are unprincipled no matter how you slice it. Lying about a lack of interest (by omission, thru blowing off) is unfair to him and lying about why you don't want to see him anymore (overtly, thru 'met someone' stories) are creepy and make you a liar. Liars lie, gratuitously, selfishly, and without qualms, so ....the shoe fits. A principled person would do what Clarence and kendahke said. 3
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 I told him I've met someone else. His reply was "No worries at all I hope it works out xx" In my opinion, you sold out, and compromised your own integrity. You can't honestly tell me you feel fine about having lied? If that's your 'painless way of telling him to go away' I'd rather risk inflicting a little pain, rather than compromising my own character. Sorry. 2
Krieger Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 Tell him that you would rather go Christmas fishing with Scott Peterson than go on another date with you.
ScienceGal Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 I don't condone lying, and gave the advice I did because according to another thread, the OP has found someone else she is excited about having a second date with.
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