nikaa91 Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 I am currently visiting a friend in another country. She invited me as she and another girl are in the Erasmus programme . I've been feeling down last couple of days (PMS) and kinda lonely and isolated. There are two other girls and I feel excluded and not fitting in. On the top of that, I wasn't feeling well today and stayed home all day alone. She locks herself in her room in the evenings to chat with her bf. This evening I wanted to tell her something after hours of sitting in another room. I knocked on the door and she said forcefully "DON'T COME IN". I didn't say anything, just walked away, dumbfounded. I am a bit hormonal but it just felt like a slap. Yesterday we all were watching a movie with other two girls and she took her laptop to chat with this guy during it. I told her that it's annoying because of the clicking but she wasn't very considerate. She gets mad easily at me if i do something wrong in her opinion and gives me this hateful, evil eye look (i don't take it personally because i know she likes me and we joke a lot about her hatred to the world). She has a bossy personality and can be egocentric at times in my opinion. I'm here for another week, how can I handle it?
Fleur de cactus Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 Sorry you feel down and ignored and you are far from home. You cannot change her mind or argue with her. What you can do is to take a walk , visit new places, go out shopping alone, or take pictures, maybe she will see that she forgot about your presence. I think telling you to not go into her room is not necessarily bad. Maybe she was doing something that requires privacy. Keep yourself busy .and enjoy your vacation
Author nikaa91 Posted September 24, 2015 Author Posted September 24, 2015 Sorry you feel down and ignored and you are far from home. You cannot change her mind or argue with her. What you can do is to take a walk , visit new places, go out shopping alone, or take pictures, maybe she will see that she forgot about your presence. I think telling you to not go into her room is not necessarily bad. Maybe she was doing something that requires privacy. Keep yourself busy .and enjoy your vacation Thank you for your advice. I understand that she didn't want to talk in that moment, problably chatting with this guy, but she's been like that since I got here. Her tone was rather cold and I just went to the bathroom and cried. I don't expect her to babysit me but I am her quest after all and she can take a break for 5 minutes. It's like she's doing me a favor by just talking with me ? The main issue for me is that she thinks her time and priorities are more important than mine and makes me adjust to her time, needs and wishes. I'm not a bossy person, I'm agreeable and usually give in to her but it just isn't fair. We have been bestest friends for a year and used to have such a great connection. Something's changed now. I want to rekindle it but what she did today reminded me what bothers me about her and made my resentment grow. She also felt that something was off last time I saw her in July. Is there a way I can stop the friendship from burning out?
Sunlight72 Posted September 28, 2015 Posted September 28, 2015 Is there a way I can stop the friendship from burning out? In my experience - no. Also in my experience, true friends will sometimes become closer again in the future, but probably not in the way it was for you during the first 6 months. This summer I visited a close friend (we call each other brother and sister) in another country. Though it's been a long time since we saw each other in person, we always are interested and warm with each other through messages when apart. This meeting was very different. She was busy with her world, and even when she didn't seem busy to me she did other things than see me. After 3 days, I decided to accept an offer of a ride with some friends of hers to a nearby city and explore on my own. She was surprised, but also I think relieved since she knew we weren't connecting. I think at this time I'm not a fit in her life, except through email, etc. which she can reply to when she is ready. In person, I'm not a priority. Fortunately, I made friends with the people who gave me a ride, and they introduced me to some nice friends of theirs during the rest of my time in that area. Sorry, but also - you are in a new country See what you can find to enjoy! Talk to some other people nearby and maybe you'll meet whoever it is you're supposed to meet on this trip Cheers, Sunlight
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