BrokenHearted05 Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Well this is my first time posting, found this site searching google for a web board just like this. Hopefully I can find some answers to my current situation here. So here goes the story. I am a guy in the mid 20's who recently lost a girl that he loves. It all started about 4 weeks ago when she wanted some time apart. I was traveling a lot and spending time with friends. Maybe my fault that I wasn't paying much attention to her etc. I was actually on a business trip and she broke it off with me while I was in a totally diff. country!!! In the beginning I didnt care much, because reality takes a little time to set in. For the next few weeks we fought back and forth and had the most stupidest arguments etc. Then one day she came crying back. She told me the most sweetest and most intimate things about our relationship. I wanted to take her back, but something told me to just wait it out a bit. To make the long story short, she has now completely disapeared from my life. She changed her number, blocked my screen name from her im etc. This all happened a few hours later after coming to me crying. I haven't had contact with her in about 1.5 weeks. I strongly believe that her parents might have had a strong upper hand in her decision. I have also heard from numerous friends that she was fooling around behind my back etc., while we were together. I love this girl and possibly want to be with her for the rest of my life. She claims that she is happier without me and is just going out and having her fun. It hurts to see that she doesn't want to be back with me. How do I cope with this? Obviously I am not going to have contact with her because I can't get in touch with her lol. Does it really get better or people just say that to ease the pain temporary? I realized that I truely love this girl and I want her back, I just dont want to break down again and show my weakness for her. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. HeartBroken :0(
whichwayisup Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Pour out all your thoughts on paper. Either here or pen/paper. Get it all out because the more you release that saddness and emotional buildup the better you will feel. Don't hold it in. Read No Foolin's thread, it's incredible! Long but a good read and I think you will benefit from it big time! Read the threads by ConfusedinOC, he's been going through the loss of his relationship recently and some of what's been posted on his threads will help you as well. Sorry that you're going through this, we've all been where you are and there's ALOT of support here on LS. Keep busy too, hang with friends - Try really hard NOT to allow her to consume your thoughts 24/7. Each day, put time aside to really GET her out of your head, that will help you feel better. Hang in there, I know it's a rollercoaster ride.
dogood4urself Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Believe me, I know exactly what you are going through, the same thing happened with my ex and I....you are not alone. I know the pain seems unbearable sometimes, I felt like I couldn't live with out her, I felt like I should have done more, I felt like maybe it was my fault, and that maybe I wasn't good enough....if you are feeling this...you have to get those thoughts out of your head, It sound like a lot of this stuff is her deal and not yours. Trust me....IT REALLY DOES GET BETTER. You are going through the hardest part. It is good for you to not have contact with her. Things you should do at this time: -Allow yourself to grieve the loss (its gonna take sometime to stop, but it gets better.) -Treat yourself to anything you like (food, movies, etc) -Don't hold it in, talk about it to friends, family....write about it here or on paper and rip it up -Get rid of everything in your immediate space that reminds you of her -Stay busy (I know its hard to think about anything else, but it helps) -Exercise (you'll feel better and look better too) -Write down a list of the things that annoyed/pissed you off about her and post it somewhere were you can see it. (that way you don't remember the relationship all peachy-keen like) -I would recommend for you to stay sober (I know when I got drunk, I would get sad and think about her) Hope I could help....as for all that sh*t you are hearing about her being happy without you and having fun or whatever...that is just all talk...if she is not grieving she is probably just repressing...and trust me whether or not she wants to get back with you or not...some part of her just lost something that was important in her life. It seems like she is just trying to act cool...but its gonna come back and bite her in the a*s!
BrokenHearted05 Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 You guys really know your stuff when it comes to relationships!!!! She pulled the NC card on me although she is the one that broke it off with me. I really dont have a choice, nor am I chasing after her. I saw her yesterday driving, and that ofcourse didnt help, but it has been getting easier. I wish I have read about the NC rule way before this ever started, I think things could of been diff. I should of been the one to cut off all contact after she broke up with me. Either way, I know that I would of been the right guy for her, but I doubt she would of been the right girl for me. Hearing stories about her cheating on me, doesn't help either. My last questions is this, if she is the one that broke it off with me and she is the one that is pulling the NC card, does she have the upper hand? Or do I have the upper hand because I stopped chasing after her about two weeks ago? Thanks again for any input, you guys are the best!!!!
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