Charlotted29 Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 I still like him and want to see more of him, I really do! Even though after our second date he admitted to sleeping with someone else the next day. I don't know if it's serious with this girl or he really likes her but I think I could be perfect for him! Have you ever just felt so drawn to someone that you don't want to let them go until you can show them how amazing you are and what you could be together? He suggested after he told me, to still meet up for a game of tennis etc and I instantly said no of course (I was hurt) but I decided to contact him a few days later to suggest a game - he said he was busy next few days and going abroad but free the rest of the month, so I contacted him when he was back and he had broke his arm while away so was useless for a while. I said well if you want to go for a walk or coffee, you know where I am... and it's been a week and haven't heard from him. I know I sound like a crazy person and I should drop this but I can't and don't want to!? Can I do anything to turn this around and get him to notice me?
DrReplyInRhymes Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 I still like him and want to see more of him, I really do! Even though after our second date he admitted to sleeping with someone else the next day. I don't know if it's serious with this girl or he really likes her but I think I could be perfect for him! Have you ever just felt so drawn to someone that you don't want to let them go until you can show them how amazing you are and what you could be together? He suggested after he told me, to still meet up for a game of tennis etc and I instantly said no of course (I was hurt) but I decided to contact him a few days later to suggest a game - he said he was busy next few days and going abroad but free the rest of the month, so I contacted him when he was back and he had broke his arm while away so was useless for a while. I said well if you want to go for a walk or coffee, you know where I am... and it's been a week and haven't heard from him. I know I sound like a crazy person and I should drop this but I can't and don't want to!? Can I do anything to turn this around and get him to notice me? Disregard your rules, ask him out on a date, It's the perfect antidote for the agony of the wait, Show him you're interested, go after what you desire, invite him out as your dancer, For if you were to fail, you're in the same position as now, except with an answer. 3
Oregon_Dude Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 Give the guy credit for being honest. Have you had the "exclusive" talk with him? If not, you honestly have no right to be upset. Spend more time with him, and if you want him all to yourself, let him know. He will either be on the same page, or not. There's only one way to know. However, be careful with your possessiveness at this time, as it could be perceived as clingy, and push him away. 1
Author Charlotted29 Posted September 23, 2015 Author Posted September 23, 2015 Disregard your rules, ask him out on a date, It's the perfect antidote for the agony of the wait, Show him you're interested, go after what you desire, invite him out as your dancer, For if you were to fail, you're in the same position as now, except with an answer. I very much like you're rhyme, thank you. However, I have already been out on 2 dates with this chap! He might even be dating this girl he slept with now! I've also offered the hand of friendship and meeting up again... sigh
DrReplyInRhymes Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 I very much like you're rhyme, thank you. However, I have already been out on 2 dates with this chap! He might even be dating this girl he slept with now! I've also offered the hand of friendship and meeting up again... sigh Yet, you still like him, you admitted as much above, So go after what you want, don't sit and wait for love, Offering friendship and putting the ball in his court? Could be taken the wrong way, like friendzoning him, or something of the sort. 2
Vintage79 Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 Give the guy credit for being honest. Have you had the "exclusive" talk with him? If not, you honestly have no right to be upset. Spend more time with him, and if you want him all to yourself, let him know. He will either be on the same page, or not. There's only one way to know. However, be careful with your possessiveness at this time, as it could be perceived as clingy, and push him away. I totally disagree with this - an exclusivity talk is ridiculous unless you're in 4th grade (say for instance,you've been seeing someone 5 days a week for half a year and never had a talk about exclusivity - it's not ok if the other person just starts sleeping around without talking to you before it happens) -the exclusivity talk is one of those ridiculous justifications that is too commonly used as an excuse on Loveshack, that is only infrequently used in real life, and when used, all it serves to do is illustrate lack of confidence and uncertainty. Moreover, Oregon Dude, you totally missed the point of her post - she's asking how to get him to notice her, and your response is, spend more time with him...yeah, that's helpful. OP - this one's a lost cause, but if you want to give it a shot, ask him out, none of the useless drivel on par with, "if you're free, let's get coffee". I'd probably suggest doing it - at a minimum he says no and you have an answer... 1
Author Charlotted29 Posted September 23, 2015 Author Posted September 23, 2015 Give the guy credit for being honest. Have you had the "exclusive" talk with him? If not, you honestly have no right to be upset. Spend more time with him, and if you want him all to yourself, let him know. He will either be on the same page, or not. There's only one way to know. However, be careful with your possessiveness at this time, as it could be perceived as clingy, and push him away. Thank you for your advice. I would love to spend more time with him! Believe me I have tried as per my post. However I fear 'trying' any more for fear of coming across clingy like you say. I have offered the hand of friendship and that I am still there to hang out with so he knows he can ask me.... I just don't know if some guys need to be prompted sometimes..
DrReplyInRhymes Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 Thank you for your advice. I would love to spend more time with him! Believe me I have tried as per my post. However I fear 'trying' any more for fear of coming across clingy like you say. I have offered the hand of friendship and that I am still there to hang out with so he knows he can ask me.... I just don't know if some guys need to be prompted sometimes.. The saying goes: 'The early bird gets the worm', Not 'The bird who waits around will eventually get it's turn.'
Author Charlotted29 Posted September 23, 2015 Author Posted September 23, 2015 I totally disagree with this - an exclusivity talk is ridiculous unless you're in 4th grade (say for instance,you've been seeing someone 5 days a week for half a year and never had a talk about exclusivity - it's not ok if the other person just starts sleeping around without talking to you before it happens) -the exclusivity talk is one of those ridiculous justifications that is too commonly used as an excuse on Loveshack, that is only infrequently used in real life, and when used, all it serves to do is illustrate lack of confidence and uncertainty. Moreover, Oregon Dude, you totally missed the point of her post - she's asking how to get him to notice her, and your response is, spend more time with him...yeah, that's helpful. OP - this one's a lost cause, but if you want to give it a shot, ask him out, none of the useless drivel on par with, "if you're free, let's get coffee". I'd probably suggest doing it - at a minimum he says no and you have an answer... Vintage, thank you You seem like a real ball breaker and I love that! I totally did the wrong thing by leaving it open. I feel confident now that I will actually ask him for coffee rather then vaguely suggesting it!
craw Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 ^? (In response to Dr.r) That doesn't mean she should rush to go sleep with him. It's not a competition! Hopefully if actually does like her, he will meet her again.
Author Charlotted29 Posted September 23, 2015 Author Posted September 23, 2015 ^? (In response to Dr.r) That doesn't mean she should rush to go sleep with him. It's not a competition! Hopefully if actually does like her, he will meet her again. I absolutely won't be rushing to sleep with him again, that's for sure. All I want is a chance to see him, talk to him and show him that I'm a great girl for him not this other girl who lives a 6 hour drive away!
DrReplyInRhymes Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 I absolutely won't be rushing to sleep with him again, that's for sure. All I want is a chance to see him, talk to him and show him that I'm a great girl for him not this other girl who lives a 6 hour drive away! Am I reading this right? Is this how it is? Passively waiting around for him to take his bid? Girl, she's sleeping with him, and you offered nothing but being friends and a drink. What more can I say, I don't understand the way that you think. I truly do hope he comes to his senses to return, maybe there's a connection underneath that really wasn't spurned, However, I can't see it, nor does it seem like he does, So, I wish you good luck, and hope it returns to like it was.
mammasita Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 I don't understand why he felt the need to tell you after 2 dates. You're clearly not exclusive nor sleeping together....so why? He has no reason to "confess" for anything other than a reaction. I feel like he's an attention whore, granted he could also be sincere and honest - but really? Call him, but I say tread lightly.
Author Charlotted29 Posted September 23, 2015 Author Posted September 23, 2015 Am I reading this right? Is this how it is? Passively waiting around for him to take his bid? Girl, she's sleeping with him, and you offered nothing but being friends and a drink. What more can I say, I don't understand the way that you think. I truly do hope he comes to his senses to return, maybe there's a connection underneath that really wasn't spurned, However, I can't see it, nor does it seem like he does, So, I wish you good luck, and hope it returns to like it was. Trust me when I say I have given him more than an offering of friendship and a drink! We went on 2 dates and I stayed over. I just want to show him that I'm the perfect girl for him, not this other girl. I felt I wasn't given a big enough chance. He was lucky that I offered him the chance to see me again after he told me he went off with this other girl. Lets hope he does come to his senses and gets in touch, if not I will get in touch one last time. Cheers for the rhymes! 1
Author Charlotted29 Posted September 23, 2015 Author Posted September 23, 2015 I don't understand why he felt the need to tell you after 2 dates. You're clearly not exclusive nor sleeping together....so why? He has no reason to "confess" for anything other than a reaction. I feel like he's an attention whore, granted he could also be sincere and honest - but really? Call him, but I say tread lightly. I too actually found this a bit odd! Perhaps his conscience? We were sleeping together though yes. I gave no reaction to him, despite his urge for me to call him an expletive. Thanks for the reply.
empresario Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 One thing I'm missing from every one of your posts... You keep implying you are perfect for him and you want to show it. Why, if I may ask, is HE perfect for YOU? What did he do to earn that honor? Because so far this relationship seems one-sided. 5
kendahke Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 Trust me when I say I have given him more than an offering of friendship and a drink! We went on 2 dates and I stayed over. I just want to show him that I'm the perfect girl for him, not this other girl. I felt I wasn't given a big enough chance. He was lucky that I offered him the chance to see me again after he told me he went off with this other girl. Lets hope he does come to his senses and gets in touch, if not I will get in touch one last time. Cheers for the rhymes! Don't debase yourself by trying to compete with someone for whom he set you aside. If he can't see that you were the better woman, then "used to didn't know you..." Desperately throwing yourself at him--squandering your dignity for such a one--is just devaluing yourself. He never should have considered screwing her at. all. He should have been so into you that no other girl mattered. That's not how he esteems you--and you really need to get a lock on that with a quickness. A man who is into you makes no mystery of it. He's on that phone, he's texting, he's at your place--he's in your life. A guy who has seen you twice and then screws another girl is a guy who is not into you like you are into them. Don't waste time or youth behind men like that. Next. 6
Krieger Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 This guy figured you probably where doing the same and sleeping with another guy if he does not work out. Woman do that all the time it there nature to do so . When I go on dates I all ready know she has another guy lined up if the date does not go well.
joseb Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 One thing I'm missing from every one of your posts... You keep implying you are perfect for him and you want to show it. Why, if I may ask, is HE perfect for YOU? What did he do to earn that honor? Because so far this relationship seems one-sided. Yes this is exactly what I was going to post.
shet Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 After 2 dates he owes you nothing. Someone said the exclusivity talk isn't real. That person either doesn't date under 40 today, or lives in a provincial little town somewhere. Anybody who is shutting down other options after 2 dates, or expecting someone else to, is in fantasyland and will be brought down to earth hard much like you have. After 2 dates you should still be ready for them to vanish without a word if they want, not expecting them not to shag around on you. He may have been shagging this other woman for a long time - he's seen you twice. Assume everyone you date is seeing others and that one or more of them may be sexual. Or don't assume, ask. I've been asked by dates whether I'm seeing others. 4
Karimikui Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 I still like him and want to see more of him, I really do! Even though after our second date he admitted to sleeping with someone else the next day. I don't know if it's serious with this girl or he really likes her but I think I could be perfect for him! Have you ever just felt so drawn to someone that you don't want to let them go until you can show them how amazing you are and what you could be together? He suggested after he told me, to still meet up for a game of tennis etc and I instantly said no of course (I was hurt) but I decided to contact him a few days later to suggest a game - he said he was busy next few days and going abroad but free the rest of the month, so I contacted him when he was back and he had broke his arm while away so was useless for a while. I said well if you want to go for a walk or coffee, you know where I am... and it's been a week and haven't heard from him. I know I sound like a crazy person and I should drop this but I can't and don't want to!? Can I do anything to turn this around and get him to notice me? This is worrying. 1
Krieger Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 After 2 dates he owes you nothing. Someone said the exclusivity talk isn't real. That person either doesn't date under 40 today, or lives in a provincial little town somewhere. Anybody who is shutting down other options after 2 dates, or expecting someone else to, is in fantasyland and will be brought down to earth hard much like you have. After 2 dates you should still be ready for them to vanish without a word if they want, not expecting them not to shag around on you. He may have been shagging this other woman for a long time - he's seen you twice. Assume everyone you date is seeing others and that one or more of them may be sexual. Or don't assume, ask. I've been asked by dates whether I'm seeing others. Well said shet well said. Woman will never admit it but they think something is wrong with a guy if he does not have other woman that want him .
Karimikui Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 I absolutely won't be rushing to sleep with him again, that's for sure. All I want is a chance to see him, talk to him and show him that I'm a great girl for him not this other girl who lives a 6 hour drive away! So you boned him and then he had sex with somebody the next day then you asked him out and he turned you down then you asked him out and he turned you down once again, this time claiming he'd broken his arm. Then you asked him to get a coffee with you and he didn't reply. It's not looking promising is it? I'm not sure why other members are encouraging you to continue to pursue this lost cause. 5
katiegrl Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 I don't understand why he felt the need to tell you after 2 dates. You're clearly not exclusive nor sleeping together....so why? He has no reason to "confess" for anything other than a reaction. I feel like he's an attention whore, granted he could also be sincere and honest - but really? Call him, but I say tread lightly. That's exactly what I was thinking!! In what context did he tell you this? After only two dates? And yeah, why? For what purpose? Was it his way of letting you know he's involved with someone else? That is what I would be thinking. Otherwise, why mention it? Me thinks he was trying to send you one of those cryptic messages.... like he's seeing someone else, so don't expect too much from me, type of thing. I could be wrong, I just don't see the point of him telling you this after only two casual dates. 1
katiegrl Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 I too actually found this a bit odd! Perhaps his conscience? We were sleeping together though yes. I gave no reaction to him, despite his urge for me to call him an expletive. Thanks for the reply. No it's not his conscience, as he has nothing to feel guilty about. He's letting you know he's involved with someone else, so don't have too many expectations. He may sense you are more emotionally invested that he (which let's face it you are), and it's his way of telling you to slow your emotions down, and pull back. YOU may think you are "perfect" for him....but honestly, that's really for HIM to decide. 2
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