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theres a part of me that believes she didnt cheat? you tell me

disbelief

By disbelief
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Poutrew Established Member

Poutrew

Posted
Posted
For all that are interested in an update.....

 

She admitted to having sex with him. I'm crushed.

 

She wants to work on the family and go to counselling. She also agreed to cut all contact with him.

 

The reason I beleive she cheated is because she felt that I didn't really love her. We didn't go on dates anymore and I guess I wasn't "wooing" her anymore which I can say is true but I did always give her affection, kisses and hugs etc. She just became colder and colder always complaining until she left and had sex with the other guy.

 

Can I be to blame? I stopped courting her and got complacent I guess. Maybe I was acting needy aswell.

 

Should we try to improve things and try again?

 

We do have a child together.

 

I kind of feel I won't be able to look at her the same but maybe I should just buckle down and go on and try again. Atleast I will prevent other men from being in my son's life longer which will solidify my bond with him.

 

 

 

 

You see how this works? You deep down knew she was having sex. You were right. Then she wants space so she can keep on having sex with anyone but you. Now she wants to work on the relationship so she can keep you around, whilst she can fornicate with whom she wants.

 

 

Oh yeah, and by the way, its all your fault she opens her bat cave for another batmobile, because you are not trying hard enough to keep her amused. This woman is not realizing that a real life relationship is not going to always be about exciting things - that it is long periods of not much happening punctuated by some excitement (and not always good excitement - births, deaths, tragedy, etc.) This woman represents the height of narcissistic selfishness.

 

 

You need to move on and, if you can, get 100% custody of your kid. You might have a chance if you appeal to her eqo - just tell her how much of a drag on her new social life having a kid tagging along will be. And since you are a boring person, you will only be too happy to take the burden off her hands. Then just step aside and watch the slow motion train wreck of her life unfold around her.

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disbelief Established Member

disbelief

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Wow. I know I shouldn't go back. Do you really think her life will train wreak?

 

Your right even if I wasn't wooing her she should have talked to me , dumping her family for 2 months and going and having sex and now wanting back in is a total insult and shows she has anything but love for me.

  • Like 1
greenleaves54 Established Member

greenleaves54

Posted
Posted

Not only did she cheat, but she lied about it and then she has the nerve to demand space???

 

Do not in any way think this is your fault. If a relationship has problems, a couple talks about it and solves it. One doesn't cheat, lie and make demands....

 

I don't understand how people can do such things. She has disrespected you so much. I feel sorry for you and by the sounds of it you are worth much better.

  • Like 2
harrybrown Established Member

harrybrown

Posted
Posted

ramp up the 180.

 

Did she use protection? has she been tested for stds?

 

is she pregnant?

 

If you did this to her, you would be out on the street.

 

You need to see your attorney. She is still lying to you and cheating on you.

This may not have been the first time.

 

She does not respect you.

 

get a custocy agreement and get her out of your life. She gets not more changes to hurt you over and over again.

 

Stop all contact except about your son. have your parents help you find an attorney now.

 

So sorry. you deserve better. she planned this before she separated. She did an evil thing and you can't trust her. I did not say she was evil, but what she did was evil. She is your worst enemy.

 

Get far away from her.

Dutchman1 Established Member

Dutchman1

Posted
Posted (edited)

Hey disbelief,

You do know the answer, this cheating mama is no prize anymore.

She clipped your balls, humiliated you, lied, planned all this.

 

Maybe and only maybe you are nr 2, don't bet your peanut butter sandwich on it.

 

If you cannot or Wil not believe people here, than believe me, the Pope is really a Muslim.

 

Rrrrrrrrun. Call a mate, have a pint, call me, we'll have a famous grouse.

 

Man I know it hurts, but it gets better, if you take her, i'M afraid you'll be hurting a lifetime.

 

I would say: up yours, go and take your stokings of for Tom, Dick and Harry. .

Like I said,, there are so many good and honest woman, who needs to taste an other man's left behind 's.

 

God only knows how much I hate cheaters.

 

Be best Co parent ever.

 

Dutchman 1

Edited by Dutchman1
Spełling
  • Like 1
qubist Established Member

qubist

Posted
Posted

disbelief: the writing on the walls were clear since the first day and you knew it. this was very typical, she was only doing enough to keep you around as her back up plan. she came back because she either got dumped by the other guy or she is doing her act to keep you around after you went 180 on her.

you need a lot more than " sorry I was wrong" to consider giving her a shot at R, this if you were really thinking of a R. otherwise just get a custody agreement and run away.

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lolablue17 Established Member

lolablue17

Posted
Posted

The only way I think that can work is if you will "half check out" from the relationship exactly like her.

 

If you can, you should go dating, sleep with other girls, and from that point only, you can be ready for her to "reconcile with space", knowing that you have an open relationship.

 

I have never in my life heard about a girl who does the things she did, lie, cheat like that, and stop doing it after one time. I bet she will do it again and again, every time she will feel that things are not perfect.

 

Remember - For her, the "truth" is something you say only if it pays off. Otherwise, why not lying?

Marc878 Established Member

Marc878

Posted
Posted
so after i basically showed her with my actions that i dont want her in my life and im moving on this happens.....

 

ME:

 

You want an explanation. You betrayed me. Family is very sacred to me and is something that is treasured. I am here 100% 24/7 365 days a year for our son. I will co parent with you but that's as far as it goes between you and I

 

2 days later on date. Obviously that was in the works before you left which is at the least emotional cheating. and then you slept in his bed. I'm sure it was just a pajama party with the new sexy underwear, dentyne ice gum and hot clothes.

 

Your story has been so mixed from the start. You feel so broken inside and can't be with anyone but yet we need to see different people and I should "**** another chick" as you put it.

 

"All guys are *******s" but yet he's someone you can talk to.

 

 

HER:

So plain and simple? We should never see each other in each other's futures?

 

ME:

Did you have sex with him?

 

 

HER:No

 

ME:

So what are you wanting?

 

 

HER:

For my heart to not hurt anymore for it to feel right

 

 

ME:

I hear you and I feel the same but I'm asking what are you wanting to do with this situation.

 

Don't tell me i can't understand, how much have we acctually tried to be understanding?

 

Do you want this family?

 

 

HER:

I feel like I want to try it again with a little space?

 

 

ME:

I want to know what you want. Explain it.

 

HER:

 

To try and make us a family but with some space until we have a good understanding if we can truly love each other

 

 

she says space? how can you have a family with space? is this just more BS to keep me on the hook?

 

how should i respond to this?

 

 

Cheaters lie, deceive and hide. She's a cake eater. You are her plan B doormat. She's going to now feed you some breadcrumbs.

 

Separation means space to have an affair with the OM while you or someone else babysits.

 

Unless you man up and move on that will be your life. How do you like it?

 

Go full exposure on her and then 180. 180 means no contact unless it's about the kid which it seems you aren't able to do. You can't fix her only yourself.

 

It's a bad situation that will get worse until you can detach and make your life what you want it to be.

 

You know what you have to do. Lawyer up and move on.

Marc878 Established Member

Marc878

Posted
Posted (edited)
For all that are interested in an update.....

 

She admitted to having sex with him. I'm crushed.

 

She wants to work on the family and go to counselling. She also agreed to cut all contact with him.

 

The reason I beleive she cheated is because she felt that I didn't really love her. We didn't go on dates anymore and I guess I wasn't "wooing" her anymore which I can say is true but I did always give her affection, kisses and hugs etc. She just became colder and colder always complaining until she left and had sex with the other guy.

 

Can I be to blame? I stopped courting her and got complacent I guess. Maybe I was acting needy aswell.

 

Should we try to improve things and try again?

 

We do have a child together.

 

I kind of feel I won't be able to look at her the same but maybe I should just buckle down and go on and try again. Atleast I will prevent other men from being in my son's life longer which will solidify my bond with him.

 

Typical cheater talk. YOU made her have sex with another man? She made that choice 100% on her own. It wasn't a mistake it was well planned. Selfishness on her part.

 

You thinking this is somehow your fault is typical doormat style. She has no respect for you at all.

 

If you have any intelligence now you'll get out quickly. There's no future n this for you. The only good thing about being fed breadcrumbs is you won't gain any weight on it.

 

Get smart and cut out all funds, etc and change the locks. Oh and you'll get the "can we be friends". That's for easing her guilt. Looky were friends so he's really ok wit it. Friends are trustworthy, honest and loyal. Get it?

Edited by Marc878
  • Like 1
Dutchman1 Established Member

Dutchman1

Posted
Posted

Hey disbelief.

 

 

I would suggest to give her all the space she wants, till hell freezes over.

Do the 180, date lots of girls, expose, expose and expose.

Do not be the babysitter. You are nobody's fool. Get this in your skull.

( oh I just hate cheaters)

You and only you have the power to stop this circus, now she sees you as the clown in between changing the arena.

 

 

There are soooooooooo much wonderful woman out there, who are not mentioned here on LS.

Be my guest, find yourself a good one.

 

 

Take care.

 

 

Dutchman 1

  • Like 1
Marc878 Established Member

Marc878

Posted
Posted

Oh and get an STD check you don't know where she's been.

Dutchman1 Established Member

Dutchman1

Posted
Posted

Don't you ever light a candle, if you don't know were it's been.

 

 

 

 

Take care

 

 

Dutchman 1

Christos Established Member

Christos

Posted
Posted

It was obvious from the start... We all told you my friend...

 

Forget about her. Only your son matters. You will find a better woman, sooner than you think. Forget about her. She is bad. She will regret this some day, trust me.

 

BUT DO NOT TAKE HER BACK WHEN SHE DOES

 

Let her face the consequences of what she did. You should just move on.

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