Lovelorn00 Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 I agree that the name-calling is wrong. I’m the first to give people the benefit of the doubt (which has gotten me into a lot of trouble), but I’ve dated enough to know that this guy just sounds like no good. I’m glad you’ve made the decision to move on. It’s okay to feel a little bummed. There are others out there.
joseb Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 I We women bond with spending a lot of time with someone, sharing our thoughts, nurturing etc. Spending a lot of time with a man will, most of the time, make us feel deeper for him. I don't think men work the same way. I think a man needs to crave a woman. He has to have a little bit of her than he needs to crave her before he gets some more. If not, he'll wake up one morning with an indigestion of her. I dont know if all men are like this, but this is definitely true for me. Even if i met a woman i really liked, i think smothering me in the first few weeks would turn me off, even if it seemed nice initially.
Popsicle Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 I think love is like anything else in life. I LOVE chocolate and I could have it all the time BUT I know if I have too much of it at some point I will have an indigestion and I won't like it so much anymore. My first dating experience about 4 years ago was with a man living 2 km from me. It was firework at the moment we met. We spent every possible moment together, and it was a lot considering we were almost neighbor, and when we were not together we talked for hours on the phone. After 2 weeks he says he has something to tell me. He said: it's all gone. I asked what is all gone?? and he replied: The butterflies are all gone, I don't know why it's just all gone. We women bond with spending a lot of time with someone, sharing our thoughts, nurturing etc. Spending a lot of time with a man will, most of the time, make us feel deeper for him. I don't think men work the same way. I think a man needs to crave a woman. He has to have a little bit of her than he needs to crave her before he gets some more. If not, he'll wake up one morning with an indigestion of her. I don't know I just haven't had that experience so it's hard for me to believe about all men. Maybe I've just always attracted men who were more like me. 2
harcourt Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Just curious -- did you ever hear from him again at all, Toodaloo?
siriusp Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 I've been curious too...... was there any contact at all?
Redhead14 Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Took the words right out of my mouth. Thank you. Recently have been reading too much of this negativity, trashing people just because things didn't go the way you wanted. How you react to disappointment says a lot about you. I made a note to myself, I do not want to be one of those women. negativity, trashing people just because things didn't go the way you wanted -- This is a coping mechanism. Demonizing the person as a way to get over them. This happens especially when one person was really crazy about the other one so flip flopping to the "other side" helps negate the pain. Actually transferring pain into anger which on some level feels better to them. 1
Author Toodaloo Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 Yep. It is as I thought and has gone well as I planned. I now have a good friend and so does he. I am good with that. We are both now much happier. So we were not supposed to be together for whatever reason, but the fact remains that we are both good people and you can never have too many of those in your life. I have a date lined up for a couple of weeks time with a chap who is very different. I have also started chatting to a couple of other men just quietly to find out what they are like. Its all good. I took my time to lick my wounds, got my head round the situation and decided what to do. Its done. Its good. All are happy. 2
siriusp Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 That's fantastic. None of us can have too many friends!!! Hope the new date works out..... It's nice when everything is clear too!
Author Toodaloo Posted September 30, 2015 Author Posted September 30, 2015 If it doesn't that is OK too. We are all only human after all so who knows!
ZA Dater Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 Oh he just started getting hot and cold. One minute all over me the next not at all. He has done it twice now. Complete lack of consistency and as I am really after stability (emotional is most important but also financial, physical etc.) I figured I would just leave him be. I work hard to ensure that I am in a good place to date and that I can come to the table as an equal. I guess he just wasn't feeling it or whatever. If he calls again great, but I am going to let this one slide and not hang around as I really don't think he is all that into me. Shame but as it is. I am genuinely sorry to read this. I wouldn't loose hope just yet, people are strange in the way they sometimes act. So long as there is hope not all is lost. Me, I will be hoping for you that he does turn around and be the person that left you smitten. I believe it will happen.
Author Toodaloo Posted September 30, 2015 Author Posted September 30, 2015 I am genuinely sorry to read this. I wouldn't loose hope just yet, people are strange in the way they sometimes act. So long as there is hope not all is lost. Me, I will be hoping for you that he does turn around and be the person that left you smitten. I believe it will happen. So do I ZA. I have not lost hope. Nor am I miserable or letting it get me down. I took my time to digest it for what it is and now I am moving forward again. Its all good. I am positive again. This one was not for me but that is OK. There are many others out there that I have yet to meet. Perhaps one of them will be the one? Who knows. I am certainly not just going to give up because it didn't work out with one guy. Life is too short to waste on feeling bad. There is a whole world out there. And that is exciting.
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