menyou Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 Is there a good timeline for progressing your relationship involving others such as family and friends? After coming out of a long marriage with kids I really have no real desire to introduce anyone to the guy I am seeing. I feel I need to work on my relationship with him pretty extensively prior to any of that happening. He has expressed the want to meet friends and I talk about him to both friends and family and they wonder when I'll bring him around but I just feel it's unnecessary. When does it get to the point of like why haven't I brought him around? For obvious reasons I'm shielding my kids from any potential issues that may arise. And my ex because he just doesn't need to know anything that I do.
Qboro90 Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 Would help to know how long you've been seeing this guy for.
Author menyou Posted September 23, 2015 Author Posted September 23, 2015 Would help to know how long you've been seeing this guy for. Ah, yes. Just about 5 months.
craw Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 I don't see the rush, I believe you will know when its the right time when you feel it. 1
Qboro90 Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 If you like this guy and want to continue dating him then I think it'd be nice if he met a couple of your friends casually for drinks or dinner. No need to go out of your way to set it up but if you're going to a friends house or doing a weekend drinks with a friend then bring him with you and introduce him. That will do 2 things. It will show him that you care enough about him to start bringing him into your inner circle and it also gives you the chance to get your friends opinion of him afterwards. I personally couldn't date someone who my friends didn't get along with or didn't like. Some people don't care about that tho. As far as your kids and family. You don't need to bring him around that part of your life until you're comfortable... No timeline on that. And you should feel safe flat out telling him that. Your kids are your life and you just want to protect them and not confuse them or give them the wrong impression at this point of your relationship. You can tell him that your kids and family know that you're dating him... Exclusively and they love seeing you so happy and glad you found someone who treats you right. But he should respect the timeline you set for bringing him into your childrens lives. If he doesn't... Huge red flag. 2
Author menyou Posted September 23, 2015 Author Posted September 23, 2015 If you like this guy and want to continue dating him then I think it'd be nice if he met a couple of your friends casually for drinks or dinner. No need to go out of your way to set it up but if you're going to a friends house or doing a weekend drinks with a friend then bring him with you and introduce him. That will do 2 things. It will show him that you care enough about him to start bringing him into your inner circle and it also gives you the chance to get your friends opinion of him afterwards. I personally couldn't date someone who my friends didn't get along with or didn't like. Some people don't care about that tho. As far as your kids and family. You don't need to bring him around that part of your life until you're comfortable... No timeline on that. And you should feel safe flat out telling him that. Your kids are your life and you just want to protect them and not confuse them or give them the wrong impression at this point of your relationship. You can tell him that your kids and family know that you're dating him... Exclusively and they love seeing you so happy and glad you found someone who treats you right. But he should respect the timeline you set for bringing him into your childrens lives. If he doesn't... Huge red flag. We are definitely on the same page as far as kids go. He has his own as well and we've already discussed it would be awhile for any of that. I've had a few missed opportunities to have him meet up with friends but looking back I think I'm just happier keeping him to myself. I enjoy every second I spend with him and don't want to take our time up thinking oh I wonder if so and so approves or what not. I like the guy. A lot. And that's all that really matters since I'm the one dating him, right? I was just curious as anytime I talk to certain people they are always asking about him and I'm feeling pressured a bit but I feel it's all still new to me so I don't want to rush it. But at the same time I don't want him to feel like I am hiding him.
kassy Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 At 5 months he might start to feel you are hiding him. I'd second the casual introduction to a few friends and then move slowly from there. No need to rush but time to make a small start or this may become an issue when it really doesn't need to be 1
Ami1uwant Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 Unless you have family/friends in far away places when it fome to 5 months into a relationdhip you need to start introducing him into the redt of your life otherwise this will go nowhere and ge will likely break it off with you. Has he introduced you to his family/friends? There will be an exoectation with the holidays coming up that you do family gettigethers as a ciuple.
No_Go Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 I have your problem. We're dating 6-7 months now, but I'm just not ready to introduce him to family. He introduced me to his very early on, so I feel awkward but... I just can't. I will probably force myself to do it in a month or so because my birthday is coming and we'll move in together around that time... Friends though is different. He met my coworkers (and I met his) ~2 months in, and a few of my other friends 2-4 months in. Maybe you can start that way? Introduce him to coworkers or distant friends soon, so he does not worry that you're hiding him? Then to closer friends etc... Until you're comfortable enough to go for family (I think kids, if young, should be last to introduce) Is there a good timeline for progressing your relationship involving others such as family and friends? After coming out of a long marriage with kids I really have no real desire to introduce anyone to the guy I am seeing. I feel I need to work on my relationship with him pretty extensively prior to any of that happening. He has expressed the want to meet friends and I talk about him to both friends and family and they wonder when I'll bring him around but I just feel it's unnecessary. When does it get to the point of like why haven't I brought him around? For obvious reasons I'm shielding my kids from any potential issues that may arise. And my ex because he just doesn't need to know anything that I do.
craw Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 You're planning to move in with a guy that you've been dating less than a year and haven't seen each other friends???
No_Go Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 Read again: we have seen each other's friends, and I have met his family. He just haven't met my family. Considering that he's late 30s, I'm early 30s, and we both want to have kids one day, 1 year could be the maximum without serious commitment (for me, he expressed similar opinion). So move in at 8 months doesn't sound too much out of place, does it? You're planning to move in with a guy that you've been dating less than a year and haven't seen each other friends???
Author menyou Posted September 23, 2015 Author Posted September 23, 2015 Unless you have family/friends in far away places when it fome to 5 months into a relationdhip you need to start introducing him into the redt of your life otherwise this will go nowhere and ge will likely break it off with you. Has he introduced you to his family/friends? There will be an exoectation with the holidays coming up that you do family gettigethers as a ciuple. Interesting that you bring up holidays. All gatherings would most likely include the kids so really that doesn't work. I have met associates of his, no friends/family as he has none here. I know that sounds weird, but that's his life right now. I think next time I see him ill flat out ask his what his expectations are at this point as we haven't visited the subject in quite awhile.
d0nnivain Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 For me it always had to be organic. I don't do big introductions. If these folks are around, introduce them. Since the holidays are coming up, perhaps plan something if they are going to be in town.
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