greenleaves54 Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 (edited) Ex-GF (21 years old) dumped me (26 years old) about two weeks ago (2 year relationship). She needed to "explore life without being in a relationship", thinks I got everything she looks for in a guy, "is just going to be single", gigs, the classics, etc, whatever. We parted on very friendly terms, I told her I understood her and went NC right away. She called me after 1 week, which I answered. She wanted to check up, do some small talk and ask me if I wanted some of my things sent to me. I small talked like everything was as usual but at the end of the conversation I told her that being friends wouldn't work for me, and that I needed to cut contact in order to move on. After that I've been doing really good. I felt better every day. Exercising and exchanging smiles with random girls at school. I almost made 2 weeks NC when I slipped.... and checked her instagram, where she had uploaded a pic where she was at a place with some other guy. And I broke down. So obviously she's flirting with and probably dating someone. So soon after we broke up too, that's hurtful indeed. I realize I mustn't see anything else that goes on in her life. I thought I really was on the right track, forgetting about her more every day. Oh how very much in denial I was. And this picture was quite innocent. I can only imagine how I will react when I see her in "worse" situations with this guy or with others. Or the day when the "In a relationship..."-notice appears I know I will vomit for sure. SO, I advise you all to take NC serious. No cheating. It only hurts your healing progress. So I just removed my account on Instagram (never used it much anyway). I also unfollowed her on Facebook. Though I am unsure whether I should: 1. Be satisfied with unfollowing and still be friends on FB. 2. Remove her as a friend but first telling her: "No hard feelings but I need to remove you on FB to help myself move on. Hope you understand. Bye". 3. Remove her without any notice. I don't want to break NC again but at the same time I don't want to act rude because we parted on such friendly terms. I want to bow out of her life like a gentleman, not leave angrily slamming the door after me. Is it fine sending a short message like above before removing? Or maybe expressing the need to remove her is showing weakness? After all, I want to appear like I moved on and that I'm enjoying single life, not like I'm still hopelessly in love with her. Some guidance here please. It always feels so good to vent here, thanks loveshack. Edited September 22, 2015 by greenleaves54
EO422 Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 What explaining do you need to do here? It's not like you will be with her anymore so who cares what she thinks! Her loss on all this BS...no matter how you remover her as a friend, if she wants you back she won't even think about how you unfriended her!
Author greenleaves54 Posted September 23, 2015 Author Posted September 23, 2015 I did as you recommended, thanks guys. I do hope she doesn't go "He removed me without any kind of notification? What a rude, coward move, I'm glad I broke up with him" though.
Draper Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 I did as you recommended, thanks guys. I do hope she doesn't go "He removed me without any kind of notification? What a rude, coward move, I'm glad I broke up with him" though. I wouldn't worry about that. I didn't delete or block my ex basically for that reason (I thought it might come off as petty/childish). When I logged on and saw a picture of her and some dude, it became abundantly clear that it doesn't matter what she thinks of it, I need to do it for my own sanity. We don't need to see that.
CT98 Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 People say stick NC to avoid harming yourself, I agree. But in a situation like this I think it helps to see that they're certainly not sitting around pining for you, and are out there enjoying themselves, it makes you realise they are gone and ain't coming back! Block her in every way possible now, you've seen enough to know what she's up to, and now it's time to protect yourself and move forward.
Maggie4 Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 I did as you recommended, thanks guys. I do hope she doesn't go "He removed me without any kind of notification? What a rude, coward move, I'm glad I broke up with him" though. Don't worry. You already gave her an explanation before going NC, so she knows this is part of it.
Author greenleaves54 Posted September 23, 2015 Author Posted September 23, 2015 (edited) Lol, I managed to fail. I sent a message earlier but I realized it was stupid and deleted it 2 seconds afterwards. I didn't realize it only removed the message on my end... Oh well, no big harm done right? Now I will truly disappear at least. Edit: I know I am an idiot for breaking NC, you don't have to tell me that. I didn't even mean to do it, but 2 seconds of weakness was enough. I assure you I will never break it again. I know this 100%. Mistakes makes you learn at least. Edited September 23, 2015 by greenleaves54
start8957 Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 Don't worry how she will look at you after doing NC. It's time for you to do what you need to in order to move on and be happy. It's been 3 weeks since my ex left me for someone else, and social media is my enemy. I keep a calender and Mark off a day every day I don't creep on his FB or instagram. Seems silly, but every day I get through I feel a sense of accomplishment. I just blocked him on snapshot since I saw he was checking my stuff. It sucked, because every time I do something like that it's like pushing him more and more out of my life. But eventually I feel great. The calender idea works and the more days you check off, the more you don't want to break the streak. And reward yourself after every 30 day mark until you no longer have the urge to check up on her. Plus she's 21. She's young. I'm sure she'll be posting plenty of things you will not want to see
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