preco Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 I would like to hear all your thoughts on what happened to me and what for women is she. Please don’t be polite write what you mean and sorry for such a long text. We were together for 2,5 years I’m 32 she is 23 . She had long term relationship I had also. When I met here she was basically on ugly duck however she had the best personality that I have ever seen. That was the reason that I started to date here and that I felt in love with here. I would jump in to fire to safe here. She grove alongside me and she became really self-confident, learned to dress and act like a women, she became a swan. I was planning to ask here for here hand this year. 3 months ago a started to see change in here she started to act differently started to dress a lot sexier etc. When I asked she said it nothing however I didn’t believe it so I tried to talk with here see where was the issue. No response just I didn’t do that and that and she doesn’t feel loved and so one. She started to spend less and less time with me and more texting on Whats App. When I asked she told it’s a friend and they are talking business. I started to be suspicious and I confirmed my suspicion that she is seeing someone when I started to check where see should be but was not. But no concrete proof of anything. I could not believe that she could do it. Fas forward 7 weeks ago she texted 20:30 she is going to sleep and god night. For some reason I felt the urge to go check here at here flat at 11:00 her car was not there and she was not in the apartment. When I called here first time didn’t pick up the phone the second time yes and basically I then say a lot of ugly word that she cheated and we are done. After hour I called again and asked if it was worth it she told me she didn’t cheat she was at a girlfriend. I believed and we agreed to have 3 weeks time of to see where we are. After 3 weeks she told me she wants to split I was not happy but OK maybe it’s the best think. However next morning 8:00 she was in front of my hours crying she is sorry she didn’t want to do it. So I took here and we sad and agreed both we will work on the relationship together. Nothing however change from here side she still didn’t have time for me and I was frustrated and new that she is seeking someone else. I had my suspicion who was it bat not prof which change after 1 week when I took her back. It was a colleagues of my from work who knew we were together. He is divorced 1 year has an 8 year old child and is 40. He was waiting for here in his car before here work when confronted he said “what we cannot go and have coffee together”? I called here told here a lot of ugly worst and she hang up and then send and viber message. She said we split we are done and explained they ware only having coffee nothing else and she didn’t do nothing wrong. I could not believe that this is happening how could she do that. I was a full and had to check 2 time on different days because I could not sleep 4 in the morning if her car is there. It was not, that was 3 weeks ago and now I’m full NC. I now they are spending time together and she is probably sleeping with him in his apartment. Her best friend is in total shock from here behavior and doesn’t understand. When she tried to speak with here about it she told “I’m a closed capitol nothing to talk about”. When she asked why did she came back she told her she wanted to try but figured out it has not sense. She stop every hobby she is not seeing any friend she has, stop the business that she was doing basically different person. She still say to her best friend and cousin she had nothing to do with him just coffee. Her best friend starts to be my best friend because he doesn’t believe what is she seeing. (she is a lesbian) How could she so change ? How could I be so naive and how can I still love here even when I see what she has done. My heart and soul are a big mess and I’m trying to live with this but …
warshaw Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 This is a common scenario. People are together for years, and for whatever reasons one of them becomes unhappy in the relationship, feelings, change, they meet someone else, they move on. Unfortunately she was not honest with you and was on and off with the other guy before she dumped you for good, but the "good news" is that says a lot about what she's really like, and it's all bad, and it's a good reason for her to be someone else's problem. It takes time but you'll get over her. Try not to check up on her or talk about her with other people. Try to just let it go. 1
Holmes85 Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 She's 23... Just because she's 23, doesn't mean her actions and behaviors are excused because it's 'common' in girls her age. And just because it's common doesn't mean it's good. preco, When you started to notice the change in her actions, behavior and less interest, the reason behind it was that she was invested in the other dude and was testing the waters till he was a sure deal. I can guarantee you 2 things : 1. Nothing you could have done to change her mind, even if you were at your best behavior she still would have found some excuse to justify breaking up with you. 2. When things go down between her and her new fling, Miss 'Swan' would be flying back to you as a backup. I say you take as much time as you need and heal. Once you have healed upgrade to a better girlfriend who knows what she wants. By the time she comes back to you, she would be old-news and you treat her like a has been. The bottom line here is to make her realize that you don't treat someone like that and leave a relationship for petty reasons. By teaching her a lesson, she would think twice before pulling the trigger and hopefully would change her ways. But you would care less about her by the time this happens. 2
Christos Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 She's 23... I see it a lot on this forum. For some reason, it is "ok" to be the worst person imaginable while young, break hearts, and have no accountability... Of course this is absurd, but maybe i was born in the wrong age... 1
Author preco Posted September 23, 2015 Author Posted September 23, 2015 Thanks for the advice and your opinion. I'm trying really heard not to think about here and starting to see what she really was. A f... b.... how ever I'm still think about here and what she is doing with the other guy. One more thing do you think its a "The Grass Is Greener" Syndrome or she did really change so much.
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