worldssaddestgirl Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 Hi, I have been dating an amazing man for 10 months, for the past two months I have been living at his while I sort out somewhere to live. It was originally for a couple of weeks but I guess I wasn't as speedy as I should have been for looking for somewhere else. We had a conversation about 3 weeks ago about how he wanted his space back and I agreed to stay out 3-4 nights a week and look for somewhere immediately, he said he was happy with this. 2 weeks ago I went to stay at my parents and he sent me a text saying not to come back because he doesn't think he wants to be with me anymore. He said I disrespected him by being in house for so long and I took advantage of him. I apoligesed, I explained that I didn't know he felt so bad and said I will move back in with my parents straight away so we can work on things, he said he needed time to think so I let him have this. A week later he texts and said can he see me in 3 days in a coffee shop, I told him if he was going to break up with me please don't do it in public. He called me and told me he can't be with me anymore. We were on the phone for 2 hours, he said he doesn't feel like he makes me happy, that our relationship always felt difficult, that I made him so happy and he can't do the same for me. He sounded like he was very upset, he said he wants to keep in contact because he cares about me. I begged and pleaded and told him I love him and he makes me so happy and we can work on things now the living situation has changed. He said no. I told him I loved him and he didnt say it back, he never has btw. I've been trying to contact him and he wont reply or pick up, I'm a mess, I feel guilty that he didn't think I was happy, all I can do is think about all the things I should of done different. I want him back, I don't understand why he doesn't want to try and fix things. Please someone help me get peace of mind because I feel like I'm going insane
d0nnivain Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 You are not going insane & his reasoning seems to be all over the place. It's probably a case of too much too soon. You moved in after only 8 months & overstayed your welcome. Whatever his reasons he wants out. You can't change that. Stay with your parents. Lick your wounds. Save some money for a new place & get on with your life.
Author worldssaddestgirl Posted September 22, 2015 Author Posted September 22, 2015 You are not going insane & his reasoning seems to be all over the place. It's probably a case of too much too soon. You moved in after only 8 months & overstayed your welcome. Whatever his reasons he wants out. You can't change that. Stay with your parents. Lick your wounds. Save some money for a new place & get on with your life. Yeah I understand I overstayed my welcome and it was too much for the relationship at that time but surely if you really care about someone once you've acknowledged there's an issue you'd want to work on it? I just don't understand why he's given up
losangelena Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 OP, I just went through a breakup too where my ex was saying things like "you don't seem happy," "something is missing," "I don't think I can do this anymore," etc. The circumstances were different, but the words sound very similar. It's hard, but I don't think you're ever going to find out exactly what caused his to change his mind about the relationship. It behooves you to try and come to grips with not knowing (not an easy process, by any means). Save your dignity and stop contacting him. He knows you want to be with him, but he has to want to be with you, too. If he does, he will seek you out. Don't feel guilty about this. You couldn't have known that he thought you weren't happy. What a strange reason to break up with someone: "You don't seem happy."
d0nnivain Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 but surely if you really care about someone once you've acknowledged there's an issue you'd want to work on it? I just don't understand why he's given up I agree but some people only want to deal with things when they are easy & on their terms. He sounds like somebody you may be better off without. Sorry.
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