Bubsa Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 I have another post doted about regardin my Story. Just want to ask a quick question on this. Split with the Girlfriend really want her back, but she is not playing the same tune as me!!! So heres where the issue arrises I like a twat sent her Messages begged etc to come back I know it does not work but was feeling down. Well my problem is this she is also the mother of my two year old son ?? Now to get over her I think I need to do this whole no contact thing. But obviously I can't I have to pick my Son up during the week for one evening then one day at the weekend and drop him off on Sunday. I start pulling myself together and when I see her feels like I am falling apart again I try not to talk about us but sometime it just comes out I know it probally looks to her that I am not over her may even massage her ego to know that I can be her backup should she wish to explore other options. She NEVER talks to me about us I think she is over me but I can't seem to let go maybe its because I don't want to. But how do I deal with this ?????
Merin Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Always a hard thing when you share Wee Peeps.. I have 2 Little Folk's that I share with my EX.. I suppose it's easier for me because I was the person who ended the relationship.. All I can advise you to do is this.. Keep contact with your EX to your Kiddo ONLY. I know it hurts when you have to see her, so keep it as brief as possible and DON'T give into the urge to talk with her about the 2 of you. Resist the urge to text message her or call her IF it has nothing to do with your Little Peep.. honestly if you continue to "sweat" her so to speak it will not inspire any warm and fuzzy feelings for her instead it will have the opposite effect in confirming to her she did the right thing in ending the romantic relationship. Sadly enough it's amazing how people can and often do behave when they feel they have the hammer so to speak and they will hit you over the head with it every chance they get. Keep yourself busy with other things, when you have your son make it about you and he time only.. don't ask him (even though he's only 2) ANYTHING about his Mom. If time shows you later that she wants to try again, then Yay for you.. BUT if time shows you something different you will still be okay Hang in there
alphamale Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 put the child's needs first and concentrate on finding another woman. if she knows u are with another woman she may regain interest in u. and don't beg and plead, women hate that.
Author Bubsa Posted May 18, 2005 Author Posted May 18, 2005 Cheers for the advice dudes. Just to let you know I dumped her beacuse I was so unhappy. Feel slightly better today she called me regarding picking up my son and I kept it short and brief and said my sister was going to do it today and she will contact her. Really mad felt all nervous when the phone was ringing like a little kid. Anyhows had a really good session with the therapy lady last night. Discovered that my 3 main emotional needs are 1) The need to feel loved and wanted 2) Sex 3) Affection How mad is that before I was with this girl never felt love before. I was 'Jack' from Jack da Lad. I had no other emotionall needs except number 2 all of a sudden get the love bug am I am a Needy bloke DOH!!! Well anyhows my ex does not satisfy any of my top 3 needs so Kim (Counsellor) belives I sub-consciously resent her and try to hurt her feelings too, (Gee I am messed up !) thats why our relationship was dead in the water. I think about it now and I agree with a lot of things she said. I was thinking about giving my ex a letter (not Emotional) but factual letter about this and calling it my closure letter then next week try and rebuild my life without her. What do you reckon. Alphamale trust me another women is not what I need right now I am a few nuts short of a fruit cake.
Merin Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 Originally posted by Bubsa Cheers for the advice dudes. Just to let you know I dumped her beacuse I was so unhappy. Feel slightly better today she called me regarding picking up my son and I kept it short and brief and said my sister was going to do it today and she will contact her. Really mad felt all nervous when the phone was ringing like a little kid. Anyhows had a really good session with the therapy lady last night. Discovered that my 3 main emotional needs are 1) The need to feel loved and wanted 2) Sex 3) Affection How mad is that before I was with this girl never felt love before. I was 'Jack' from Jack da Lad. I had no other emotionall needs except number 2 all of a sudden get the love bug am I am a Needy bloke DOH!!! Well anyhows my ex does not satisfy any of my top 3 needs so Kim (Counsellor) belives I sub-consciously resent her and try to hurt her feelings too, (Gee I am messed up !) thats why our relationship was dead in the water. I think about it now and I agree with a lot of things she said. I was thinking about giving my ex a letter (not Emotional) but factual letter about this and calling it my closure letter then next week try and rebuild my life without her. What do you reckon. Alphamale trust me another women is not what I need right now I am a few nuts short of a fruit cake. Yay for you on seeking some outside help thats outstanding! While you can write the letter if you want to, I wouldn't give it to her.. honestly I don't think it will give you closure IF she doesn't respond to it, you'll be pissed.. IF she does respond to it and doesn't agree (and she won't) you'll be pissed.. LOL hard place to be uh? Closure is in rebuilding your life without her IMO.. Don't be so hard on yourself either.. all of us carry some baggage from past relationships but mad props to you on trying to let go of them and move on.
Recommended Posts