Strahatmak Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Is it always true that when a man never or rarely initiates a conversation with a woman, he has no interest in even making friends with her? Because in my own experience, I know many shy guys, and they would make a move to initiate some conversations to the girls (sometimes were to me LOL) no matter how quiet and/or shy they usually did if they were interested in the girls. Note that those shy guys I know could go very, very quiet to a level that sometimes got forgotten by the group LOL So there is lone wolf type of guy in a group I'm playing sports with. I'm kinda interested in knowing him more mainly because he is the only single guy there LOL. However he rarely initiates any conversation to any female player (at least in our group). It's also difficult for me to initiate talk as well because first, non-stop playing games, and second, other guys (and girls) are so talkative and friendly to mingle with (and I basically social with anyone who is willing to make friends). Should I just forget about this one? Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Nothing ventured, nothing gained. What's the harm in striking up a conversation to gauge his interest? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Strahatmak Posted September 22, 2015 Author Share Posted September 22, 2015 Nothing ventured, nothing gained. What's the harm in striking up a conversation to gauge his interest? Yup, yup. Usually it wasn't too difficult for me to approach a stranger and talk usually, though he turns or looks away awkardly even with an eye contact. There are certain difficulties striking up a convo. He hides in his own corner busy with his cell for the 2 minutes break between games when everyone else gathers into groups and chat. And, though I'm not a popular girl there but people are too friendly and someone always starts a conversation with me. Link to post Share on other sites
craw Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 If you consider yourself an extrovert, consider reading this. 5 Reasons Why The Shy, Quiet Guy Quickly Loses His Mysterious Appeal Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 You know nothing about him. From your description, averting eye contact.. I dunno.. he might even have very mild autism. One quiet and shy guy I knew turned out to be gay and that's why he didn't flirt with girls. Don't build it up, just be a bit forward, and you'll have your answer right away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Strahatmak Posted September 22, 2015 Author Share Posted September 22, 2015 You know nothing about him. From your description, averting eye contact.. I dunno.. he might even have very mild autism. One quiet and shy guy I knew turned out to be gay and that's why he didn't flirt with girls. Don't build it up, just be a bit forward, and you'll have your answer right away. Interesting point... based on other friends in the group, he's interested in girls, and he's single. Ya I don't know nothing about him LOL It may be a bit too much to flirt with girls at pick up sports, but one thing I notice is that he's not in any of the weddings in this group is a bit too "disconnected" from others because the whole group attended every wedding. He's been playing with us for a year! Whoever's more "recently joined" has merged into this social circle already. I mean I'm not forcing people to be close friends with us... but we hang out more then just sports, and we are all playing with each other weekly or more, and anyone should've built a certain level of friendship in a normal case, which he doesn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Strahatmak Posted September 22, 2015 Author Share Posted September 22, 2015 If you consider yourself an extrovert, consider reading this. 5 Reasons Why The Shy, Quiet Guy Quickly Loses His Mysterious Appeal I'm an introvert Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Do other people try to bring him in to the group, or has everyone there given up on him? Or they ask him to come and he refuses? Extreme shyness is just antisocial. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Strahatmak Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 Do other people try to bring him in to the group, or has everyone there given up on him? Or they ask him to come and he refuses? Extreme shyness is just antisocial. I'm not sure how others do but we are not rude or mean people. I think one has to at least show some interest from his side, too, and his quietness is kind of a signal that stops others. It's just surprising that even the friendliest and most sociable guy is not able to be friend with him. Of cause he has his own friends. Maybe he's just not interested to be friend with us? But that doesn't make sense because if he isn't enjoying hanging out with us, he can go to some other pick up for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
poofitsgone Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I've always been shy, to the point of seeming antisocial, which is something I'm working on. But breaking the ice is definitely the hardest part. There are lots of times in the past I can kick myself over, where I was very interested in someone (either romantically or even just socially) but was too shy to make any moves or show that I was interested. So don't take it necessarily as lack of interest, but keep in mind what being with someone like this would be like, and if that sort of relationship would actually work for you or your just going for it because hes the only single guy. Link to post Share on other sites
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