Mark1 Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 If a woman opens the door for a guy she doesn't know, and actually allows him to walk thru first, is that just a kind gesture or something more? Sounds like a dumb question but I've never had it happen before. Happened to me walking to class in university. She actually held the door open for me and let me walk in first. Never met her before in my life.
loveflower Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 yes, it sounds like a dumb question to me...coz here people do that to each other all the time. where do you come from? and where are you?
RecentChange Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 I do this constantly. Probably a couple times a day. I work in a high rise building in a busy downtown - lots of foot traffic. To me, holding doors is just the polite gving to do. If I go through a door I always look back to make sure no one is approaching behind me so that I do not let the door slam in their face. When approaching a door - and I see someone else coming (the ones I am going through most are all glass), I open the door and step aside to let them pass through first - regardless of sex. If they are older, or with children I will make an even bigger gesture. As for when I am out with guy, I have a bad habit of opening the door first, going through - then holding open for him to catch. If we are out on more of a "date" (not grabbing some weeknight ramen at the corner hole in the wall) - I try to make an effort to "allow him to open the door for me". I am a female in my 30's by the way. And while I have never described myself as a " feminist" - I have simply never seen myself as being any different than a man, and waiting for doors, as if I can't open it myself feels awkward - and I am perfectly capable of holding it open for others if I get there first - its the polite thing to do! 1
Popsicle Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 I do, and then I say "Beauty before beast" and then they act all bashful. It's amusing.... 1
Got it Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 Yes I will do it. If I am first at the door I consider it common courtesy to hold the door for others regardless of gender. It does not mean I am attracted to the person in any way. 1
No Limit Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 Well if I'm nearest to the door I'm going to hold it open. I never put any extra thoughts in it to be honest.
Diezel Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 I IMMEDIATELY tell them that I am perfectly capable of opening my own doors, paying my own damn bills, because I'm an independent woma... oh wait. 7
autumnnight Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 I IMMEDIATELY tell them that I am perfectly capable of opening my own doors, paying my own damn bills, because I'm an independent woma... oh wait. Love. This. And yes, it is merely a nice gesture and not some deep signal. 2
GorillaTheater Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 Had a woman hold the door for me today. Happens fairly frequently. One thing I can't do is walk through the door in front of her. My childhood training is too ingrained for that. And no, it doesn't mean anything other than she's being polite. 1
Els Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 (edited) I wouldn't read too much into it. Admittedly when I do it for adult men I usually do it by holding the door open after I pass through - the 'hold it open and stand aside' thing I usually reserve for people who have their hands full, or children or the elderly. But it's really not a big deal either way. I once had an elderly woman INSIST on giving me her seat on the bus. That was a little awkward. I wasn't even carrying that much, just a couple bags of shopping, so I tried to refuse it, but she would have none of that. Edited September 22, 2015 by Elswyth
Art_Critic Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 I'd say that it is a sign that she wants to have sex with him......j/k Just a kind gesture is all...nothing more and requires nothing other than a thank you, have a nice day 1
Author Mark1 Posted September 23, 2015 Author Posted September 23, 2015 I dont mean that she held the door open for me, she actually OPENED it for me and let me walk thru first.
GemmaUK Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 I dont mean that she held the door open for me, she actually OPENED it for me and let me walk thru first. Yes, I do this all the time - for anyone. It's courtesy. The reasons I would make 'more effort' to do this are: If the person has a big bag or their hands full or has a drink in their hand. For older folks. For Mums with children. For visitors/customers at the site where I work simply because they are visitors and I want to make a good impression for the business. For workmen if they are carrying things into the building. If I were a teacher I would do the same thing for a student. I also, when I was at school would do this for younger students when I was a senior.
Author Mark1 Posted September 23, 2015 Author Posted September 23, 2015 Yes, I do this all the time - for anyone. It's courtesy. The reasons I would make 'more effort' to do this are: If the person has a big bag or their hands full or has a drink in their hand. For older folks. For Mums with children. For visitors/customers at the site where I work simply because they are visitors and I want to make a good impression for the business. For workmen if they are carrying things into the building. If I were a teacher I would do the same thing for a student. I also, when I was at school would do this for younger students when I was a senior. well I am none of these things you listed
lovemetobits Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 When I go to the door first, I do this for the one right behind me, lady or a guy. Quite a nice and polite gesture really.
PrettyEmily77 Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 well I am none of these things you listed What are you hoping for the answer to be, OP? I open the door to guys ALL THE TIME. I don't even pay attention to the gender of the person when I do it; I just open the door, you know... 1
preraph Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 (edited) I understand door opening is a regional thing. Some New Englanders find it hugely insulting and a whole lot of the middle and southern populations do it regularly. Whoever comes to the door first holds it as a courtesy just like you would an elevator. I'm a woman. It just happened to me yesterday. A little old man who could barely walk and I approached the door at the same time. I cued up to open it for him but he said "Let me get it" and wanted to hold it for me. Then there was a second door and I held it for him but not in the way for him to pass through first, but just so he could catch it with his hand. Now, obviously I had no intention of banging this frail old gentleman. It probably would have killed him if I even tried. So don't make anything out of it, and always say a big thank you. Edited September 23, 2015 by preraph
GemmaUK Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 well I am none of these things you listed If you re-read my post you will see that I said I do this all the time but will make 'more effort' with the list I posted.
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 well I am none of these things you listed I tend to do this ( a lot) because other people are human beings, just like me. It's a courteous gesture. You know....? 'Courtesy'....? "A form of polite behaviour, practised by civilised people, when they can be bothered to find the time."....? There's ALWAYS time. It was just a courteous gesture, from one person/human to another. Get over it.... 1
Grumpybutfun Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 I live in the Deep South...everyone is falling all over themselves to out courtesy each other...but our belles wouldn't open my door if I was carrying Jesus. Tradition is the way...I open doors and they feed me until I can't move and ply me with sweet tea...it is a unquestioned agreement. G 1
Nikki Sahagin Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 If a woman opens the door for a guy she doesn't know, and actually allows him to walk thru first, is that just a kind gesture or something more? Sounds like a dumb question but I've never had it happen before. Happened to me walking to class in university. She actually held the door open for me and let me walk in first. Never met her before in my life. I'm from the UK and I do this a lot. To me it's just a respectful gesture.
Trane Posted September 24, 2015 Posted September 24, 2015 If a woman opens the door for a guy she doesn't know, and actually allows him to walk thru first, is that just a kind gesture or something more? Sounds like a dumb question but I've never had it happen before. Happened to me walking to class in university. She actually held the door open for me and let me walk in first. Never met her before in my life. A woman who holds the door open for me will get a smile and a thank you. Having simple manners that has no bearing on gender intuition is welcome in my world.
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