GF always yelling at me

[Terry8889]

yea so she was snooping on my computer as I was sleeping and literally just woke me up about this **** crying. we made up, talked about all my issues and all was good again. everything i mentioned here was said to her but apparently this is all too ****ed up for her to understand. apparently it's ok for her to constantly talk to her friends about us but it's messed up for me to be getting opinions online from strangers. i'm done.

 

Idk your relationship dynamic doesn't sound healthy. I think you both should prepare psychologically and get ready for an eventual break up. Even if you guys last enough to get married. I dont think you both will last long in a marriage. I hope Im wrong but thats what I can see and analyze based on what you both wrote here.

[joseb]

yea i love her. to me that was what made it worth trying to save. but apparently me asking this online means I don't. so that's it. were done. thanks for the help.

 

Love is a necessary, but not sufficient requirement.

 

You both need to be benefiting more from being in the relationship than not. From what I have seen, i do not think that that is the case. Maybe u 2 can convince me otherwise.??

[Winterina]

OP,

YOU ARE LYING to her? WOW!!! That is a BIG one! You missed to tell us that one. That one would make anyone resent you and think of you as a child rather than adult man that she can rely on.

 

YOU ARE NEVER LISTENING TO HER. She is writing it to you here - hear her out for once. It is a big one too. You missed to tell us that one too.

 

OP, are you perhaps ALWAYS late to get ready for everything? Does she often have to wait for you and you never make it in time? If so, it is not about you being 10 minutes late as you presented it here, but about you being incapable of making it in time ever.

Or just screwing it up all the time with stuff in general. I'm just asking, not assuming, but it seems plausible.

 

Are you always "laid back" and perhaps even irresponsible about the things that need taking care of? Do you (inadvertently) lay all the responsibility for things onto her? Do you screw up all the time even the simplest things? Did she tell you many times which containers go into which thrash bin and you still do it wrong?

 

If so, then no wonder she is freaking out. This is because you act like a child hiding behind a phrase "I am laid back"... maybe that is not such a good thing in practice as you think it sounds.

 

To her, any mistake of yours is yet another thing you cannot do right and she has to take over. People with ADD usually inspire their partners to become their care takers and parents. Are you perhaps someone who has trouble organising? ADD partners are making their partners crazy usually, read the psychology sites. This is just a guess, of course, but think about it (and similar things) yourself too.

 

Women need responsible guy who will pull up his sleeves and do things, and do them right. Life is about sharing responsibility not just fun. People who screw up all the time with everything, even little things, are not going to look like responsible adults who can handle the life all by themselves. You will look like a boy who needs mummy to correct his mistakes and who cannot be delegated anything serious.

 

Have you maned up to sit down and think if you are contributing to her frustration? Have you thought what can you do about it?

 

Besides, you yelled at her too and from the way you describe it, it was a real explosion.

 

If you think your things are just small things think again. Lying will f your relationship up in many different ways. And that action is usually one sided thing that came from YOU, not her.

 

Having to keep you in check all the time will mentally exhaust her and break her down emotionally.

That would be a massive amount of burden to place on her shoulders.

 

Sounds like she has been telling you some things which never reached you and you keep doing them like she never spoke to you. That would piss me off too.