mike2388 Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 Going to try to make this as short as possible because I would appreciate some feedback, (most preferably positive and hopeful but I also like people that are blunt and truthful). I've known this guy for about 4 years now. We met through my best friend and we have a mutual group of friends. He has had a crush on me for most of that time. I always that he was attractive but I never had the same feelings he had toward me as I felt we were on totally different pages in life. He was 20 and still figuring things out and I had already begun my career. I still considered him a friend though and enjoyed his company. And of course I'd flirt with him as the attention is always nice. Currently I am 27 and he is 24. Well he moved to Hawaii for college about 1.5 years ago. We kept in contact a bit through text. We would exchange some flirtatious messages. Well, every now and then he would tell me to visit him in Hawaii. I always thought it was cute but I never thought I would. But this past August I felt the need to be spontaneous and I booked a flight and hotel to Hawaii since I haven't treated myself to a true vacation ever in my adult life. Long story short, during my time out there I completely fell for him. We were so affectionate with each other. There was so much chemistry. I felt so comfortable around him and I knew he was so happy to have me with him. But then it was time for me to go back home. Ever since we have kept in touch just about everyday whether by text, phone call, or face time. One day he asked me "what we were doing?" He explained that this was super hard on him. The distance was already killing him. I talked him into not stressing about it and just letting it play out. Well for the first time today I started thinking the same. It's not the distance that wares on me though, it's the fact that I am not sure if he will ever move back to this area again, and nor is he. My original thinking was that maybe he would move back due to his feelings for me but I also know he had plans after college to go to Grad School in New Zealand which I would never want to jeopardize that for him. I am starting to get confused on what to do. Do we continue talking? (At one point he told me he wanted to move back here to make me happy and that he was looking into grad schools over here. I told him I'd only be happy if he was happy and I don't want him to bail out on his original plans it was something really important to him.) I know he is super stressed out about this situation and I've been pretty content about the distance. Today it hit me hard though. Now I understand how he has been feeling. I don't want to stress him out more so I try to keep each conversation we have really positive and light. But I know he still stresses. And here I am now starting to stress. I know this depressing feeling will go away but it is sure to come back at certain points. I have asked him to come visit me in November and I know he really wants to but a part of me feels that he is hesitant. He has even said that he feels like it will make things worse. Part of me feels like he is trying to fight his feelings for me. I told him that my plans were to visit him in January but I am not sure I will do that if he doesn't go through with coming here in November. If he doesn't visit in November should I just lay off of this whole situation? The crazy thing about all of this is that I never get feelings like this for someone. I haven't felt this way in almost 10 years. He has got me crushing so hard. I have even gone so far to think about moving to him although I have established everything here: family, friends, career, networking, etc. He is just about to graduate college. His friends and family live here too. So in my head I am somewhat hopeful that he decides to eventually move back. But I know he really would love to live in the islands. It's been a rough day. Thank you if you have read this far. Any feedback, opinions, advice, etc. would be appreciated.
Recommended Posts