queenie01 Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 I have had no contact now for 11 days...trouble is that i have seen my ex bf a few times in these 11 days but we dont say a word to each other. I am at a loss for what to do... Should i stick to my NC or should I contact him?? Not sure what i would say other than i need to get my stuff from him. 2 weeks ago from today he texted me saying he had an idea "how about i keep your stuff and in a couple weeks we get together and talk and see how we feel" so i agreed...today marks the 2 week mark. Any suggestions?
Jadey Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 I wish i could help you but im stuck too I guess it depends if you want him back or not?
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 If you absolutely have to, leave a note on his desk asking that he put your stuff in a box and return it to you at work on your desk. That way, you can get your stuff back and not have to say a word to him. Keep up the 'no contact'. At this point, if for no other reason it will help you emotionally distance yourself from someone who has abruptly and irrevocably removed himself from your life.
Author queenie01 Posted May 17, 2005 Author Posted May 17, 2005 But i do want him back... so i sort of feel like contacting him will push him away??
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Contacting him will push him away. He is setting the pace for the type of relationship he wants with you right now, and any efforts you make to change that pace will push him further away. His pace includes: avoiding talking to you refusing to make any eye contact pretending he doesn't see you when he walks past you looking down when you walk past That is his pace. You'll have to match the pace: ie - do exactly what he is doing, in order to keep him at his comfort level, otherwise you'll push him even further away. Keep with 'no contact'. I don't know why this guy is so firmly indifferent toward you, and I know it hurts - but seriously, unless he changes how he is currently acting, there is a 0% chance he's coming back.
Treasa Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 I'm too lazy to go back and find the bazillion replies I've already given you, all saying the same thing. Leave him alone. It's only been two weeks. A "couple weeks" doesn't mean two weeks exactly. It could mean three weeks, it could be never. You two are, at least for now, over. If you really need your stuff back, then let him know. Otherwise leave him be.
Author queenie01 Posted May 17, 2005 Author Posted May 17, 2005 Ok ok enough said i will let him be...it totally sucks having to see him everyday tho! He is going to the gym at the same time as me now and I hate seeing him, it makes it so hard for me...especially since he doesnt have the decency to say hello....
Treasa Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Next time you're at the gym together, walk by, smile and say hello. Keep going and don't stop to talk. Give him that opening. If he doesn't even respond, definitely move on.
Author queenie01 Posted May 17, 2005 Author Posted May 17, 2005 well i would really like to do that but he always had his head phones on and we havent really made eye contact. Believe me i am not afraid to say hi to him...we arent enemies at all, didnt even fight about anything.
Author queenie01 Posted May 17, 2005 Author Posted May 17, 2005 Treasa can i ask you something? when you and your bf broke up - how come? and when you moved on was there no contact for a month? Also once you got back together was it weird or were things better than before?
Recommended Posts