MrReborn Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 I'm thinking about breaking no contact, but I don't know if I should or not. I'm don't want to break it in terms of wanting to get back together(I don't even though she broke up with me). This is my 16th day of no contact and I feel great even though I was blinded by what was really in front of me, which was a manipulative, lying, insecure woman with little self-esteem. I never begged after the breakup, and I rejected her friendship instantly(she actually tried to ease me into a friendship without telling me, and thought I wouldn't catch on ). I'm not even saying that out of blind rage, it's literally fact after a lot of grieving and thinking. I should have trusted my instincts, but I chose not to because I thought "Oh, she wouldn't do that to me" when she was lining up guys right in front of me. Although a lot of it was my fault(I was being FAR too lenient, but I've changed a ton since the breakup), it caused her to treat me the way she did, and she chose to take advantage of the way I was feeling towards her. I feel like breaking no contact and telling her that I want nothing to do with her anymore, and that there are no hopes of her coming back. I see her a few times a week since we see each other often at the office, and she always avoids me with a guilty look on her face. It's funny how in the first few days I wanted her back so badly, now I could careless whether or not she wants me back or not .
Craftydre Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 (edited) Sure you did buddy. You just called her a lying, manipulative woman, and you don't want her back and just want to be friends. Sure you do. 16 Days of no contact is not enough to get over someone, and you are in Denial Stage right now. The fact that you call her a liar and manipulative is out of bitterness that she left you, and if you feel that way about her why would you want to be in contact with her if you moved on? The beSt thing to do is be honest with yourself, and extend the no contact to 30 days and then break it ( when you feel no negativity towards her,) or forever until she contacts you to get back with you if that's what you want. If neither happens be prepared to move on. Just don't come on here claiming things that aren't true it will delay the healing process. Edit: also I wouldn't msg her telling her you moved on. Because someone who moves on doesn't have the need to tell someone that and rub it in their face. You just want to send that in hopes that she will be scared and come running back to you. But in reality she will just ignore your message, and know she made the right decision leaving you. Right now she knows she can have you whenever she wants, and by going out your way to prove otherwise only confirms this. Edited September 21, 2015 by Craftydre 2
Author MrReborn Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 Sure you did buddy. You just called her a lying, manipulative woman, and you don't want her back and just want to be friends. Sure you do. 16 Days of no contact is not enough to get over someone, and you are in Denial Stage right now. The fact that you call her a liar and manipulative is out of bitterness that she left you, and if you feel that way about her why would you want to be in contact with her if you moved on? The beSt thing to do is be honest with yourself, and extend the no contact to 30 days and then break it ( when you feel no negativity towards her,) or forever until she contacts you to get back with you if that's what you want. If neither happens be prepared to move on. Just don't come on here claiming things that aren't true it will delay the healing process. I'm not replying to this to argue, but to re-ensure you that what I'm saying is legitimate. I wouldn't have created an account to say what I just said out of "denial". Everything I said was true about her, and I even admitted that a lot of it was my fault for allowing her to treat me the way she was. I don't see how I'm in denial, I'm just being strong and looking at it from a realistic standpoint. I'm the type of person that admits when he's wrong, so I really don't like it when people make baseless assumptions about someone who really means what he says. If you don't believe me that's fine, but I know that I'm being true to myself by what I've said . As far as moving on, I've already been on a few dates since then, and have been happy with myself.
Craftydre Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 I'm not replying to this to argue, but to re-ensure you that what I'm saying is legitimate. I wouldn't have created an account to say what I just said out of "denial". Everything I said was true about her, and I even admitted that a lot of it was my fault for allowing her to treat me the way she was. I don't see how I'm in denial, I'm just being strong and looking at it from a realistic standpoint. I'm the type of person that admits when he's wrong, so I really don't like it when people make baseless assumptions about someone who really means what he says. If you don't believe me that's fine, but I know that I'm being true to myself by what I've said . As far as moving on, I've already been on a few dates since then, and have been happy with myself. Dude. You want to message her that you moved on and there I no coming back. When you go to a restaurant and the food sucks, and you know you won't ever come back are you going to call them 16 days later and tell them " JUST SO YOU KNOW. I HATE YOUR FOOD. AND I'M NEVER COMING BACK AGAIN."? You are getting defensive because you know I'm right. I don't mean to burst your fake bubble of confidence, but the truth is you haven't moved on. And the depression is going to hit you again in a month when you finally realize that you really AREN'T getting back with her. I've done this before. The best thing to do is go through the heartbreak now and face it so you can heal and be prepared for the next girl. Because if you ignore it now and pretend, it will hit you like a brick 1
Author MrReborn Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 Dude. You want to message her that you moved on and there I no coming back. When you go to a restaurant and the food sucks, and you know you won't ever come back are you going to call them 16 days later and tell them " JUST SO YOU KNOW. I HATE YOUR FOOD. AND I'M NEVER COMING BACK AGAIN."? You are getting defensive because you know I'm right. I don't mean to burst your fake bubble of confidence, but the truth is you haven't moved on. And the depression is going to hit you again in a month when you finally realize that you really AREN'T getting back with her. I've done this before. The best thing to do is go through the heartbreak now and face it so you can heal and be prepared for the next girl. Because if you ignore it now and pretend, it will hit you like a brick I have no desire for her to come back man, but hey whatever you want to believe is your call.
Craftydre Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 So if you moved on this quick. Here is your answer. 1.) She was never really important. 2.) You shouldn't be on a forum talking about it. 3.) You shouldn't message her ever again.
ScienceGal Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 I I feel like breaking no contact and telling her that I want nothing to do with her anymore, and that there are no hopes of her coming back. Silence speaks volumes. Don't complicate it. 1
EO422 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 LISTEN TO US. We have all been in your position. You are not over her. Just wait. Tonight or tomorrow you will feel depressed etc.. Here if this gets you upset at all or hurt then you are not over her: She is honestly, probably out with another guy right now. Dating, going back to the house to cuddle etc. smiling on her face as she looks at him in his arms. If that got you in any way sad, then you are not over her. If you are not sad then you either never really loved her OR you have some magical powers dude. Not trying to be an ass. But can you trust us. You are not over her, you will bring more pain when you go to contact her. TRUST US
thunder777 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 youre just enduring loneliness now and your pecker is telling you to take the temptation of having another dip yeah yeah listen to your head buddy, target a new girl, move on
mightycpa Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 I'm thinking about breaking no contact, but I don't know if I should or not. I'm don't want to break it in terms of wanting to get back together(I don't even though she broke up with me). This is my 16th day of no contact and I feel great even though I was blinded by what was really in front of me, which was a manipulative, lying, insecure woman with little self-esteem. I never begged after the breakup, and I rejected her friendship instantly(she actually tried to ease me into a friendship without telling me, and thought I wouldn't catch on ). I'm not even saying that out of blind rage, it's literally fact after a lot of grieving and thinking. I should have trusted my instincts, but I chose not to because I thought "Oh, she wouldn't do that to me" when she was lining up guys right in front of me. Although a lot of it was my fault(I was being FAR too lenient, but I've changed a ton since the breakup), it caused her to treat me the way she did, and she chose to take advantage of the way I was feeling towards her. I feel like breaking no contact and telling her that I want nothing to do with her anymore, and that there are no hopes of her coming back. I see her a few times a week since we see each other often at the office, and she always avoids me with a guilty look on her face. It's funny how in the first few days I wanted her back so badly, now I could careless whether or not she wants me back or not .And yet, you're wondering if you should break no contact or not. Would you go out of your way to talk to any other woman who is a "manipulative, lying, insecure woman with little self-esteem", or is this one special in a way? I'm guessing you'd leave everybody else alone, so do that with this one too.
michael-9 Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 I'd suggest you wait, we've all been there. Me too, thinking I was completely over her after about 10 days of NC and then wanting to shove it in her face and tell her I dont ever want to talk to her. It's really silly, ridiculous and very unmanly.. Don't do it because when you can think clearly and rationally, you will regret it.. It will only show her your weakness (which is fine to have, just dont show it) and it will make her respect you less. Also it is not necessary. If you dont want her anymore, dont contact her. If you do, contact her. But saying you just want to tell her you want nothing to do with her, and therefore you contact her, is really ridiculous and will only set you back and make her think less of you. She broke up with you, stay NC and if she wants to apologise o talk to you, she has to contact you. Otherwise you're done, show her that you wont accept bull****.. Wait 60 days so 60 days of full NC and then, if you still want to, contact her..Im in about 1,5 months of full no contact with my ex (on/off together for years) and the first weeks I really wanted to contact her, but I was committed to NC.. No I really dont even care, Ill just stay NC for the rest of my life.. If she wants to contact me, fine, if she has something useful to say I might even respond.. but contacting her to tell her you dont want anything to with her is just out of bitterness and hatred. Trust me, and just wait 60 full days.. And I mean serious NC, I never even looked one day at her social media or even looked at one single picture of her, deleted her number from my phone etc... Do the 60 days, if you still want to contact her.. then do it..But I highly doubt that you would even want to contact her after 60 days.. Good luck
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