Saw my ex having intercourse

[Cali408]

Did you touch yourself while watching?:

[TaraMaiden2]

That's a totally inappropriate, tactless and frankly nasty question.

Bunny-hop or no Bunny-hop.

 

[kendahke]

I broke the law? We were together for almost three years. I went over to talk with her, stalking is following people around and intentionally spying on them. I so happened to come at a wrong time and things escalates quickly. I didn't break into anywhere.

 

Yes you did.

 

Trespassing. doesn't matter how long you two dated. You're no longer together. You don't live at her residence, therefore you had no business being there.

 

Also, it's against the law to hide in the bushes and look through people's windows--it's called being a "peeping tom".

 

You're lucky her neighbors didn't call the police on you. Had I seen you out there looking through her windows for the length of time it took for them to engage in sexual intercourse, I would have called the cops on you. That's not cool.

[pteromom]

I assume every telling her I saw such a thing would not go down well right?

 

NEVER tell her.

 

Should I forgive her for sleeping with someone else after two years with me after only a month apart?

 

There's nothing to forgive. She's done nothing wrong. You had been broken up for a month.

 

And by forgive I mean... does that make her a bad person? Untrustworthy?

 

Not at all. She is breaking no promises to you or anyone else.

[TaraMaiden2]

I assume every telling her I saw such a thing would not go down well right?

You assume correctly, given that you were entirely in the wrong. Totally, no question.

 

I went to a psychic a few days ago, and she said that my ex will reach out to me in a few weeks, and realize her mistakes during no contact and ask me back.

Yeah.

 

No.

 

Now I know readings aren't entirely 100% accurate.

 

But if such a thing does happen.

...Which it won't.... Because psychics are just money-stealers, playing on the desires and preying on the emotions of the gullible....

Just curious.. do I ever tell her what I saw?

That would be a great way to lose your manhood, yeah....

 

Should I forgive her for sleeping with someone else after two years with me after only a month apart?

There's nothing whatsoever to forgive. You are the one at fault, here. Not her.

You're an ex. She can do whatever she likes. Hell, she could have slept with another guy the same day you broke up - the answer would be the same.

 

And by forgive I mean... does that make her a bad person? Untrustworthy?

'Untrustworthy'...? This coming from a guy who trespasses, peeks and invades someone else's privacy? Who's untrustworthy, again....?

[stillafool]

But to my surprise when I went to the front door I saw her sitting down with

another guy. I couldn't help but to keep watching hoping it's just a friend. She

seemed very disinterest, looked very drunk and she dodged eye contact with him

almost the whole time. She also looked quite sad, and upset putting on a smile.

 

You have no idea what they were saying to each other to make your gf look the way she did to you. Don't assume she has no interest in this guy.

 

He was also very beta not touching or really talking seemed like a pretty

nervous dude... but after about 15minutes she turned off the lights and they

made out and there was a little light and I saw him get on top of her and they

had sex and I left feeling sick to my stomach a minute later.

 

You don't know this guy or whether he is beta or alpha. Maybe he doesn't have to be touchey, feeley to get a womans clothes off and that's why SHE was the one to get up and turn off the lights. Again, stop assuming.

 

She was perfectly within her rights to start dating again after 1-1/2 months being broken up with you. You need to find other interests to keep your mind busy and off of her. Getting drunk is bad for your health, looks and emotions. You have to pretend she is dead to get over her. She has moved on.

[mightycpa]

I agree that what OP did was incredibly distasteful and foolish, but let's not crucify the poor guy here.

 

He went over to speak to her, and saw another guy. He stayed and watched longer than he should out of curiosity and desperation, and saw them start to have sex after the lights went off. I don't think he stayed and watched after that? Sure, it's a bit creepy regardless...but let's not make the entire thread about hammering him. I doubt he'll be repeating this mistake somehow.

 

The only trouble with your interpretation is this:

 

I broke the law? We were together for almost three years. I went over to talk with her, stalking is following people around and intentionally spying on them. I so happened to come at a wrong time and things escalates quickly. I didn't break into anywhere.

 

He doesn't seem to be able to see or acknowledge his egregious error. He seems to think it's her fault, and he feels so magnanimous, he's willing to forgive her for her trespass against him. I think he's capable of doing it again.