disneyfan90 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 (edited) Long story short, I fell for a guy at work that I cannot date for various reasons. I don't see the guy anymore, which I think will make it easier for me to get over him. But as of now, I still think about him all the time and if I could date him, I know I would. Just a few days ago, a childhood friend of mine that I haven't spoken to in years revealed to my best friend that he's always liked me. My best friend and several others are really pushing me to date this guy, because they think we'd make such a great couple. I almost feel like there's some sort of peer pressure for us to date lol, because they all want it to happen so badly. I admit that when I was much younger, I did have a mild crush on him, but this was almost 10 years ago when I was 14. I haven't seen him in recent years, and so I'm assuming he's changed a lot. Some part of me thinks that it wouldn't hurt to go on a date with him and see where things go. But I still cannot stop thinking about the guy at work--and thinking about him still brings me a lot of pain. I know it's weird because I never actually dated him, but as friends we got pretty close. So should I just go on a date with this guy and see where things go? Or is it best to wait for a little while? Edited September 21, 2015 by disneyfan90
JewelD Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Well if you're certain there's no way for you to date the man at work, I'd say go on the date with the other guy. It doesn't hurt to get to know new people. But if you're still kinda dead set on the first guy, maybe you wait awhile. You'll be comparing this new guy to him and you'll probably just be disappointed. 1
Sean Yaho Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 Well there are many reasons not to date right after a breakup. The main one I can think of right now would be "moving too quickly" due to past feelings and your in-love/bond forming hormones (Dopamine, Oxytocin, etc) still being high and taking a big hit. But like you said you never dated the guy... You were however close friends which could lead to some of those hormones kicking into effect and overall causing you to fall for the person. Saying that. Going on a date with someone else can not only boost your confidence and make you feel more attractive, but it can give you a chance to meet someone new, someone more compatible, and even more attractive in your eyes. I say give this man a chance and see where it goes. You may lack the initial spark due to having prior feeling for someone else, but see where it takes you and keep an eye out for your own personal red flags over that spark. Just keep it in your comfort zone for now. I know having pushy friends can help take away the excitement in dating.
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