start8957 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 (edited) We had no contact for 2 weeks and now he wants to come over for his stuff. I literally felt sick when I saw a text from him. All the anger resurfaced even more. I want to tell him how I feel. How he hurt me, how much of a coward he was for not breaking up, pushing me away, then meeting someone else and still not having the guts to close it off. How I have no respect for a man like that, a man that just runs away after 2 years, right when we were supposed to move in together. However, idk if it will help. I don't know if it just won't make me more angry and I'll have to start recovering all over again. We broke up two weeks ago, I'm sure I'll learn to accept this as time goes on. Has anyone had a similar experience? What did you do and how did it turn out. What if he mentions something first, calls me immature for deleting him off social media. Should I just throw it all in his face of how he treated me? It'll be nice to get it off my chest, so he knows. But yet again I want to have some pride and be cool calm and collected, and just let this all go. Edited September 21, 2015 by start8957
thejabberwocky Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 It's not going to help you either way. There's nothing you can say that will change or fix the situation. You're better off just mailing him his things and staying NC. 1
d0nnivain Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 He's not going to here you & it won't change anything. Have your BFF there in your place to let him in. You go for a walk then commiserate with the BFF once he's gone. 1
pidgeon1010 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 I would just mail his stuff to him or schedule a time to leave it outside so he can grab them, without you two seeing each other and communicating. I realize you feel the need to lash out at him but it's not going to make you feel better, maybe short term but that's even doubtful. Usually, the only thing that does it makes you more angry and brings up more questions. He probably expects you to lash out so throw him a curveball and do the opposite. 1
Diezel Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 And let me guess, you think he's just going to sit there, take it, you get to say your piece and then he's going to get his stuff, say nothing, and walk away with his box? How did it turn out? Never the way I expected it. Those scenarios you plot in your own mind, never do. 2
BC1980 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Leave his stuff outside, or go outside while he is getting it. Don't interact with him. 3
kgcolonel Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 I agree with BC....Pack his things, set them outside and either stay away or have a friend stay at the house and go shopping or go get an ice cream. Get away so there is no interaction. This will prevent further hurt and will send the message you want to send by not giving him any more of your time or attention. 1
Author start8957 Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 I think no contact is the best. Even though I do want to see him, at the same time I dont. Lashing out would be irrational so I'll be avoiding that. Isn't it a bit childish to avoid him to such an extent of having someone else there while he gets his stuff? I think I'll try doing that either way. I can't put his stuff outside since I live in the city. Everything would be gone in minutes. Thank you everyone for the suggestions!
BC1980 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 I think no contact is the best. Even though I do want to see him, at the same time I dont. Lashing out would be irrational so I'll be avoiding that. Isn't it a bit childish to avoid him to such an extent of having someone else there while he gets his stuff? I think I'll try doing that either way. I can't put his stuff outside since I live in the city. Everything would be gone in minutes. Thank you everyone for the suggestions! I don't necessarily think it's childish to avoid him if you feel like you aren't going to be able to control what you say. And I'll be honest, at this point, most people are going to be very tempted to say something. There's no shame in that. I just remember going to get some last things at my ex's house and thinking I could handle it. I ended up getting pretty upset and crying while packing my stuff. It was just unnecessary and embarrassing when I look back on it. I'm just saying that you might react very differently than how you imagine it might go down. Since you can't put the stuff outside, I would just have it ready to go. When he gets there, just give him the stuff, and be done with it. You don't have to engage in chit chat about anything. This can be short and sweet. You don't have to be rude, but you also don't have to invite him in for a drink either, if you get my point. 1
Author start8957 Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 He cancelled on picking it up tonight because the time is "inconvenient" for him since I get done work late. I already had a friend willing to wait for him there. And he's not sure if he can get it tomorrow, he would let me know. So I took the storage unit advice and told him I'm dropping it off there. Feels good. I'm doing something based on my convenience, not his for once. 6
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